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Aging 2
I'm a Senior Citizen I'm the life of the party...even when it lasts 'till 8 pm. I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer. I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going. I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, antacid.... I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go. I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up. I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying. I'm very good at telling stories...over and over and over and over. I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine. I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care. I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, children, politicians... I'm positive I did housework correctly before the Internet. I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place. I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just my left leg. I'm having trouble remembering simple words like....uh.... I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate. I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies. I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less. I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days. I'm in the *initial* state of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP. I'm wondering if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at150? I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory. I'm supporting all movements now...by eating bran, prunes and raisins. I'm a walking storeroom of facts...I've just lost the key. I'm a Senior Citizen, and I think I am having the time of my life.
Memories Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away,or start making a sandwich." The second lady chimed in, "Yes, some times I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down." The third one responded, " Well, I'm glad I don't have that problem; knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table, then told them "That must be the door, I'll get it!"
From my Sister The 1960's vs. 1990's (+1 year) Then: Getting into a new, hip joint Then: Moving to California because it's cool Then: Hoping for a BMW Then: Getting your head stoned Then: Long hair Then: President Johnson Then: Fighting to get rid of the lying president Then: The perfect high Then: Taking acid Then: Keg Then: You're growing pot Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor Then: Popping pills, smoking joints Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel Then: Worrying about no one coming to your party Then "Going blind" Then: Killer weed Then: The Grateful Dead ![]() Copyright Jerold H. Feinstein, PE 1997-2000 All rights reserved; contact for permission to use This page was last updated on 05/17/00 and is located at http://www.oocities.org/CapeCanaveral/Hangar/6056 This page hosted by
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