A SAFTYRMA PAGE

Technical
    Papers
    News

Credentials

Humor

Myasthenia
Gravis

Birdie's
Pages

Ginny's
Pages

Other Cat Relatives

Aging 2

I'm a Senior Citizen

I'm the life of the party...even when it lasts 'till 8 pm.

I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going.

I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, antacid....

I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.

I'm very good at telling stories...over and over and over and over.

I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care.

I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, children, politicians...

I'm positive I did housework correctly before the Internet.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.

I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just my left leg.

I'm having trouble remembering simple words like....uh....

I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate.

I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.

I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.

I'm in the *initial* state of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP.

I'm wondering if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at150?

I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory.

I'm supporting all movements now...by eating bran, prunes and raisins.

I'm a walking storeroom of facts...I've just lost the key.

I'm a Senior Citizen, and I think I am having the time of my life.

Memories

Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older.

One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away,or start making a sandwich."

The second lady chimed in, "Yes, some times I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down."

The third one responded, " Well, I'm glad I don't have that problem; knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table, then told them "That must be the door, I'll get it!"

From my Sister

The 1960's vs. 1990's (+1 year)

Then: Getting into a new, hip joint
Now: Getting a new hip joint

Then: Moving to California because it's cool
Now: Moving to California because it's warm

Then: Hoping for a BMW
Now: Hoping for a BM

Then: Getting your head stoned
Now: Getting your headstone

Then: Long hair
Now: Longing for hair

Then: President Johnson
Now: The president's johnson

Then: Fighting to get rid of the lying president
Recently: Fighting to keep the lying president

Then: The perfect high
Now: The perfect high-yield mutual fund

Then: Taking acid
Now: Taking antacid

Then: Keg
Now: EKG

Then: You're growing pot
Now: Your growing pot

Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor
Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor

Then: Popping pills, smoking joints
Now: Popping joints

Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel
Now: Our president's struggle with fidelity

Then: Worrying about no one coming to your party
Now: Worrying about no one coming to your funeral
------Worrying about coming ...

Then "Going blind"
Now Really going blind

Then: Killer weed
Now: Weed killer

Then: The Grateful Dead
Now: Dr. Kevorkian

To my personal home page 

Jerold H Feinstein saftyrma@yahoo.com
Copyright Jerold H. Feinstein, PE 1997-2000 All rights reserved; contact for permission to use
This page was last updated on 05/17/00 and is located at http://www.oocities.org/CapeCanaveral/Hangar/6056

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page