Kris's Pregnancy Journal
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 (Anne Geddes Baby Clothing web site) |
Kris's Pregnancy Journal
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(Anne Geddes Baby Clothing web site) |
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Friday, December 6 (28.4/26.4 weeks) Well, I'm a big pregnant lady. But I'm not alone. I have 12 weeks to go, but these maternity jeans may not make it. I made a comment in childbirth class this week about my tummy panels not being big enough and popping a couple of stitches, and it seems I'm not the only one with this problem. Everyone else said they too are growing out of their maternity clothes. Thanks, make us feel better, stupid clothing makers. In last week's class we watched a few births (in what seemed like slow motion) and all weekend I couldn't get the images out of my head. A little person with a big head actually comes out of that little opening. We went to Hershey while at my mom's for Thanksgiving, and it's all I could think about as I was surrounded by hundreds of little kids - all of these women have pushed out all of these little heads. Crazy. So I have entered my third trimester and have followed the usual path, becoming obsessed with the upcoming labor and delivery. I think I spent the last week thinking of little else, but it's starting to lift. One woman from class had her baby Saturday night and she did it without any medication. That has given me hope. She almost gave in, but after finding out she was 8 cm, decided she could make it the rest of the way. Good for her. I clapped when our instructor told us the story, though no one else was moved enough. I almost cried, too. I'm so jealous. Last night I dreamt that somehow I was carrying two babies and one came out early, a girl, and I was disappointed with having to give up my independence two months earlier than I had anticipated. I know my life is going to change drastically, and I think I'm okay with that, but it gave me a small taste of what is coming. Our lives have changed a few times since we've been together - 6 years this month. We've lived in California, Ohio and Pennsylvania, held awful jobs and good jobs and no jobs, had a little money, a lot of money, and no money, but in a couple months another person will be involved. We will be joined on our journey by a totally dependent person whom we created. Crazy! I can't wait. Saturday, December 14 (29.5/27.5 weeks) Thursday we had a busy day in Pittsburgh. I went to a pregnancy masseuse and then a midwife appointment where I found out I am now measuring on schedule and was actually one half pound under the usual pound per week weight gain since my last visit, then a doula information meeting where we met the doula that would be assigned to us. There was another woman there who is an attorney and is going the usual doctor/hospital route without question. It made me appreciate the time I've had to enjoy being pregnant and the time to read as much as I want about everything involved, while she probably works 10-hour days and doesn't have much time to enjoy each little bump, etc. It was also nice to hear what the doulas had to say about the midwife group and hospital I'm using - very positive, non-interventive, and supportive, while the other woman will have to negotiate for what she wants, if anything. I had started to question the need for a doula ($400) when I heard about the labor of a woman from my Bradley class. It was a doula from the group we spoke with Thursday and I guess she repeatedly apologized for not being of much use since the labor went so well. Another woman from class had her baby with a male midwife and said he was great, and she didn't use a doula. That money could go toward a crib, more massages, or my CA background check for bar admission. But after that meeting, it seems like these women really know how to help a laboring woman have a positive and more comfortable experience. I'm guessing the $400 is well worth it. Even John, Mr. Skeptical, thinks it is worth the money. That's saying a lot. Everyone says that labor is different for every woman, and there's no way to really prepare for it or know what to expect. You just have to let go and let it happen. Well, the only thing I can compare that to is doing acid the first time (the typical college experimentation). I remember waiting for something to happen. Then getting a stomach ache until I finally realized I just had to let it happen, let it take over and just enjoy it. I didn't know how to handle it, but learned that you don't have control over the experience, you just have to let it take you where it's going to go. *sigh* So that's how I hope to approach labor and delivery. I've read that this is how the Amish have such successful natural births - their mothers tell them to surrender to the process. I found a Gap receipt yesterday for a couple of adorable little sweaters we bought the day we had the ultrasound - almost two months ago. And in two more months we'll have another person here. Aah! The time is flying by. I'm going to be a mom before I know it. Wednesday, December 18 (30/28 weeks) They said it was a growth spurt. Sunday afternoon I noticed a pain near my right hip and around the same area in my back. It continued and I finally called the midwife center around 9pm to ask what I could do. The midwife on call said it was probably round ligament pain due to a growth spurt. She said that somewhere between 24 and 30 weeks the baby and my uterus go through a growth spurt which can result in some pretty bad ligament pain. Then she asked what I thought would be the worse pain I have ever had in my life. I was stumped. I could only think about breaking my wrist when I was 9 and then fracturing a vertebrae when I was 17. Of course I thought of plenty later that night. She told me to drink plenty of fluids, take a warm bath, take tylenol and let her know if it didn't go away. Well, I took two tylenol, but barely slept. I tried all different positions thinking something would help, but it only got worse. Since we don't have a bathtub, I had to wait until morning when John's mom went to work to take a bath. It was okay, but really didn't do much. So I called the midwife center back around 9am and left a message asking if I could use those new heat pads for cramps that you stick on your skin. I didn't get a call back until 3pm. By then I had started using a sock filled with barley and heated in the microwave to apply to the sore areas. (I added some lavender oil to make it smell nice) When they called me back Monday afternoon, I told them about using the sock but that I was still in pain and it had worsened. The midwife told me she wanted me to come in so that they could check me and the baby's heartbeat - just to make sure everything was fine and it was just ligament pain from stretching and growing. So I called John and told him we needed to go to Pittsburgh and then called his mom to let her know, and left a message with my mom. We were probably there a total of 15 minutes. Everything was fine. This time I saw a new midwife, Stephanie. She told me that when she was pregnant she was on the couch for three days with ligament pain and it was nothing to worry about. Well, I wasn't worried, I just wanted to know what I could do to lessen the pain and get some sleep. It wasn't my idea to come in. She told me to take as much tylenol as I needed to get some rest and that the pain should subside soon. Too bad I didn't have any with me. I took three when I got home and was able to get some sleep. Today the pain is nearly gone, though it's not good to sit on the floor for too long. And it seems I have grown a bit. I'm having trouble walking normally and it seems I've finally grown out more, like the other women in my childbirth classes. They all seemed to have been sticking out farther than me. I just wish I had could have expected something. Whenever anything weird has happened, it seems I've been able to look it up in one of my books or it just happens to appear at the right time in the daily progress update I read online everyday. But I haven't read anything about typical growth and round ligament pain in the beginning of the third trimester for first timers. Anyway, tomorrow we leave for Chicago for a family Christmas thing. I hope the flight is uneventful. I called the airline to make sure I don't need anything besides a note from my midwife with my due date. At seven months, they said I don't need anything. We'll be in a smaller regional jet which means easier on and off, I hope. I bought a black velvet dress off eBay for my family party and the get together Christmas Eve with John's family and then New Year's Eve at Joe and Tanya's. Of course it was made for someone taller, so I took it in for alterations yesterday. The lady said it would be $32 for next day service and when I said I couldn't pay that much, she offered to waive the express fee. I told her I would bring her a candle for waiving the fee and then she suggested that I bring her $20 worth of candles and we could call it even. Is that awesome? I was so excited. Then she said if I was interested, I could have a spot in her shop to sell candles. That put me in such a great mood. John is taking candles there this afternoon and picking up my dress. I hope she likes them. The rest of my errands went well, too. I decided to make a few gifts for all of the women in our families and everything I needed cost less than I had expected. It was a great day. Sigh, so, I wonder what fun things will happen this weekend. Will my mom make it to Chicago? Will I see my dad? Will I have to listen to a bunch of shit about natural childbirth? We'll see. Sunday, December 29 (31.6/29.6 weeks) Well, my mom made it to Chicago, I didn't see my dad, and I didn't have to listen to a bunch of shit about natural childbirth. At the airport in Pittsbugh, I asked for a patdown and they used a wand on my arms, legs, chest and back. I don't know if that was any better or worse than just walking through. But on the way back in Chicago, I got a real patdown. The plane was a small jet and a bit noisy, so on each trip I folded my jacket and wrapped it around my belly to try to muffle some of the noise. But no problems on the flights. It was good to see my family. I was a little disappointed at not getting any baby gifts, though. And the last morning there I woke up depressed and feeling sorry for myself because it doesn't look like I'll get a shower. I'm a bit torn between feeling like I would be demanding gifts and wanting some attention and fun. The other night I decided I would have my own shower, but, of course, it wouldn't work out. Everyone is scattered and some people don't want to see other people. Kari said she won't go to Springfield. Lovely, eh? Somehow she thinks there are more people in the Chicago area. There are two. We saw John's family Christmas Eve. That was good. They were fun to be around. If I could figure out how to get them and my mom's family together, I think it would be a really good time. But that won't happen. Yes, I'm feeling sorry for myself again. Tomorrow we have a midwife appointment and we're going to meet with our doula somewhere. John's mom doesn't have to work, so I asked if she wants to come. We may add a trip to Babies R Us and a visit to the delivery floor at Allegheny General Hospital. I hope I remember to ask the midwife whether they let fathers get their hands in on catching the baby and whether the hospital will let me rent and bring a tub. |
December 2, first day of deer season I thought this would be a fun picture "How can one say no to a child? How can one be anything but a slave to one's own flesh and blood?" -- Henry Miller |
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