Kris's Pregnancy Journal
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 (Anne Geddes Baby Clothing web site) |
Kris's Pregnancy Journal
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(Anne Geddes Baby Clothing web site) |
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Monday, June 3 I can't believe I am going to try to get pregnant this week. I guess if my family ever looks at this web site, they'll find out, but I don't think we'll tell anyone officially until a few weeks after it happens. I just took an ovulation test and it was negative. I don't expect a positive result until tomorrow night or Wednesday afternoon. We're going to try for a boy first, so it needs to happen close to ovulation. I think John is really excited about this despite his strong objections a few months ago. I can understand being worried about money and everything else associated with having a baby, but I just can't wait any longer. No matter what our situation, I'm sure he would worry about money. Not that I'm not worried, but I know we can handle it. It's so weird to think about. These may be my last few days of true independence. Well, you know. Nothing attached to me. Wednesday, June 5 Today's the day! We're meeting at home for "lunch." Unfortunately most of the people I work with will know what I'm doing while at lunch. But I don't care. I can hardly concentrate anyway. And John seems happy about it. He was so cute when I kissed him good bye this morning, telling me he'll be there at 1pm ready with a coke in hand. We're going by the Shettles method for conceiving a boy and a cup of coffee, or other caffeinated drink, is supposed to help those male sperm move a little faster. That's also why we need to try around noon today - timing for a boy. My noon ovulation test yesterday was negative but I took another when I got home and it was positive. I just had a feeling. Otherwise I would have taken the second test at 10pm, like the book suggests. (How To Choose The Sex of Your Baby) Now I think I'm going to cry. I just called John like I do every morning, and he said he lit candles in the bedroom so that it's nice when I get home. Whattasweetie. This is going to be a very lucky baby. Sunday, June 9 I can't stop taking pregnancy tests. I've taken three since Wednesday and have two left. I just can't believe that I actually tried to get pregnant. I can't believe that there could be the beginnings of a baby inside me. Crazy! After years of being programmed to specifically avoid pregnancy, I've had unprotected sex. It just blows my mind. And it's killing me not knowing. I want to know! I want to call my mom and tell her she's going to be a grandmother. I want to call my dad and tell him he's going to be a grandfather. Everything I've read says six days after conception is the earliest for a positive pregnancy test, after the embryo implants itself in the uterine wall. I almost want to compare this to waiting for bar exam results, but this is so much better - no dread, only hopeful anticipation. And I won't have to wait six months to try again! Monday, June 17 Well, I've taken 6 pregnancy tests and they're all negative. The last one was Thursday and it was an EPT which is supposed to detect 40 mIUs of hCG. I think that's right. Thursday would have been day 8. So today is day 12 and I should get more of those high sensitive tests in the mail today. They detect 20 mIUs hCG. My breasts have been tender and I'm certainly moody, but that could be my period coming this week or pregnancy. I wish I knew. We went to a baseball game Friday night and I never thought it would be difficult not to drink, especially when beer is $5.25, but it sucked. Yesterday we stopped for dinner on the way back from my mother-in-law's and John had ribs. They looked so good with that big cold beer. Ugh! So I guess I'll know this week. I hope. Tuesday, June 18 Shit . . . Oh my god . . . shit. I didn't get the pack of tests that I ordered last week and got impatient, of course, so I went to Target, had to get other stuff, and got a two test pack. John came upstairs while I was waiting for results. He saw the stick on the bathroom floor and asked what I was doing. I told him I was taking another test and if it was negative I was going out for a 12 pack. I have never PMSed like this before. I told him to check the test and asked if there was one line in one window or two lines in each of the two windows. He looked at it and kinda thought about it and said, "it looks like there are two lines." What?! Are you sure?! Oh my god, there were two lines. Oh my god it worked. We work. Shit. That is a line. Oh my god. Aaaaahhhhhh. 
Follow along with my pregnancy calendar! Thursday, June 20 (2 weeks gestation) This morning I'm feeling a touch of nausea. I need to stop reading everything that tells me 8 out of 10 pregnant women experience "morning" sickness. I don't need those kind of ideas in my head. So a few weeks ago I called a couple of Bradley Method birth instructors in Columbus to ask about classes and get some midwife referrals. I found out that more women than I had expected are having home births. That's great. It made me feel better. Classes are made up of 2-8 couples and cost $250. One instructor has a class starting at the end of September which would be good timing for me. The classes go 10 weeks and then you can go back for refreshers. I know John is going to love it. HA! One of the instructors told me about CHOICE midwives. They're in the phone book. I must be online too much. I called them to find out that prenatal, delivery, and postnatal care costs $2200, not including ultrasounds. I had read in one book that although ultrasounds have not been found to be harmful yet, some people still view them as a type of intervention. I would only want one to get a picture and find out the sex of the baby. So I don't really need one. A doctors' group I called gave me a similar price of $2300 for the same services. An ultrasound would cost between $180 and $220, I think. They have midwives, too, but I didn't ask any questions about their birth philosophy. I need to ask if they follow the Mother-Friendly Childbirth Initiative. They said there are a few insurance companies they work well with, while CHOICE said they put mothers on a payment plan and then after the birth they will help mothers submit claims for reimbursement. I guess they don't receive as much cooperation. Well, I can't really do anything about picking a midwife or group practice until John gets a job offer and we know where we'll be moving. We should know after the CoSIDA workshop at the end of the month where he'll be interviewing. I really hope we end up in Pennsylvania, or somewhere close. And I really hope the job includes benefits. Friday, June 21 Happy Birthday, Karleen. So I called my sister to tell her yesterday. She couldn't believe it. I told her we were going to try this month. She sounded happy for us. It was nice. She kept trying to call my dad three-way so that she could hear his reaction when I told him, but he wasn't home. So she called our aunt Candy. She was funny. When she answered, I asked, "Remember what I told you at the shower last month?" "You're pregnant?!" "Yep." "Who is this?" Whattaweirdo. My due date is February 26. Her birthday. She was excited and happy, too. Last month at my aunt Angie's wedding shower, I discovered that my mom's sisters had all had their kids by the time they were my age. (32 in a couple weeks.) But my mom had my brother Sam when she was 40. She has the oldest and youngest kids compared to her sisters. And they each have 3 - two girls and a boy except for Stacey who has three boys. When I finally reached my dad I found out he had just started another 5 days of chemo. He wasn't felling too well, but he said the news helped. He said he's been waiting for grandkids. All of his friends have grandchildren and he's the last one. He asked if he could brag this weekend. First he called my mom and then my aunt Stacey. I hope it helps him get through the next few days, though. This is more chemo than he had expected. John finally made an entry in his journal. It will be nice to have this record of our pregnancy. And I'm sure it will be very entertaining to read about his thoughts for the next eight months. Wow, that's a long time. Thursday, June 27 (3 weeks gestation) Damn, I am not happy. No morning sickness or any other symptoms, except this moodiness. It does not take much to put me in a foul mood. And I mean foul. Well, we told John's mom Saturday. She seemed very happy for us and only made one comment about John needing to find a job and getting insurance. That was good. It was very hot the next day and while everyone was doing something, Kara was washing her car (with her boyfriend, so maybe not much work), John was weed eating and cutting grass, his grandmother was pulling weeds, and his mom was getting food ready and doing laundry, I took a nice little nap. There's another good thing about not working - I get to nap whenever I want. That and I don't have to deal with the crap at that job. I just wish we knew what we were doing - where John is going to work, where we're going to move, who is going to be my care provider during this pregnancy. I just tried calling for a consultation with the CHOICE place here, but no answer. I thought it would be good to find out what they do so that I can be better prepared when I talk to someone wherever we move. *sigh* |
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