A collection of dumb things (much like Colemanballs) said by people that should know better or writings from very similar people.

There is absolutely no order to this listing so dive on in taking most of them with the obligatory 'pinch of salt'.

"Divert your course"	London Underground announcements	Overheard at the London Tower
The dynamics of Hell	Exams at Cambridge University	Creative Writing
Noise Abatement at 35,000 feet	Ad for a sewing machine	Airtraffic Controllers
Job Interviews	Cork radio and the smart arse	CV and Cover Letter Extracts
Defendant Yusif Biyiki not helping himself	Sledging in Sport	Sydney 2000 Questions
World According to Student Bloopers	ER Highlights of Chicago General	General Reinwald & Teaching Boys to Shoot
Quotes from managers	Some Dan Quayle-isms	The Wisdom of Supermodels
Stupid Things People Have Said	Airline Attendants	Edward Bulwer-Lytton Prize (external site)
Suzuki Owners Manual	Gazza	Mariah Carey and the "Jordan" quote (Urban Legend)
Driver Education Exam Answers	Spotted by Dave Barry's Readers	Plain English Web Site
Packaging Labels	Bill Clinton Says	Ordering Coffee and Bagels
Rap Lyrics to Standard English	Family Feud Answers	Excuse Notes from Parents

Letters, forms and e-mails

NTL letter
Lawyer decides who owns Louisiana, USA	Letter to a bank	IT resignation letter
Jellyfish up the ass letter	Subject: FW: E-mail tYPOS	Job application for fast-food establishment
Miller letter	Letter to a bank in the US	Letter to Nestlé, maker of Smarties
Landlord Letters	The most complete answer to a dumb application form	Thank You Note
Letter to the Irish Taxation Office	General Motors Replies to Bill Gates	Lord Pembroke's letter

Right, the copyright issues. If anyone can prove to me that I have broken a copyright and you are unhappy about it please don't hesitate to drop me a line and I will comply with any agreement we come up with.
As for using pieces off this site please go ahead, cut and paste to your hearts content - BUT I insist that you do not alter the text in any way, leave all source references in tact and add the following to your selection:-