Plot:
Traveling down the road with a rockin’ theme. 2 guys pull their convertible over to pick up the sexy hitchhiker chick.
Midgets
As the hitcher girl who resembles a skanky Traci Lords is stripping to go skinny dipping, one of the guys joins her. However she drowns him until a puddle of blood oozes up. The Midgets are watching this with great joy. Apparently, the second guy didn’t notice his friend getting killed. Well, pseudo-Traci takes care of him, too.
She and the midgets cut up the bodies.
Elsewhere, a rock band playing generic Hair Rok drives the crowd wild with songs that make Poison’s “Unskinny Bop” far more thought provoking and profound.
Backstage, Ron, their manager, wants to get some photos showing how wild they are by signing various body parts of their female fans. Jesse, the singer, is a serious musician and doesn’t really care about the big time. As a flock of backstage trollops swarm the band, one girl warns Jesse not to play the show at Grand Guignol.
On the road, Jesse is working on a new riff. The song is from a book about reviving the dead from Middle Ages. The song may be resurrecting a mosquito that is bothering the driver. They spot the skanky pseudo Traci Lords chick and give her a lift, non-sexually, of course. She offers to let the band stay at her family’s place.
They arrive. Mickey the eye patched midget gives a guy from the band a severed hand. Body parts non-withstanding, the howling from the mansion is passed off as some sort of therapy. The band believes it.
Mickey the eye patched midget puts the severed hand in a jar.
In the scenic town of Grand Guignol, the band frolics. More generic hair rok ensues. The teens of the town love the band. Their parents watch with undisguised
disgust. More random music video homage to the Monkees ensues.
We're members of the Barry Manilow fan club and don't cotton to you hard rockers.
Jesse spots the girl that warned him about coming to town. Her dad walks up sends her home and cusses Jesse out a blue streak about leaving.
Rednecks and sheriff throw the band in jail for some reason. Ron is worried. The record executive will be coming to their show. Warning girl passes the band 30 bucks for bail. Jesse is trying to flirt with her more until dear dad runs her home once more.
Blondie is getting her sprokken se deuteched by a German guy. The midgets surround the bed. German guy will let them stay and watch but no touching. If that isn’t creepy enough, the chick claims he’s in good shape for being her 90 year old grandfather…. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Jesse and the band are bailed out by pseudo-Traci. The rednecks don’t want the show to go on.
Jesse talks with Warning chick again. She tries to warn him about trust pseudo-Traci. Jesse gives her a cheap piece of jewelry and tells her he wrote a song about her. He needs to know her name to put it in the song. She finally reveals it: Cassie
The band is setting up at the mansion. Even with as creepy as the people at the mansion are, they still rehearse. More 80s GeneriROK ensues. We get the power ballad Cassie. Pseudo-Traci and rest of the freaks watch. Mickey the eye patched midget electrocutes the band. However, not fatally, it was a good attempt Mickey…
The Grand Guignol Town council meets. Pointlessness ensues. Rock music is evil because of hidden messages, all musicians are druggies, etc…Well, they vote to ban rock and roll in all forms: records, radio broadcasts, etc…Rock music is illegal as questioning American foreign policy in the town? The sheriff demands all rock records to be confiscated and destroyed.
At the mansion, Jesse is working on the reanimation song. It seems to be bringing back the dead tarantula.
Pseudo-Traci Lords is showering when Chuck, the long haired drummer, joins her in the shower. She seems to not mind at first but quickly changes her mind by stabbing him to death as Mickey photographs his death. Why do I sense a lame rip-off of the Psycho shower scene?
Elsewhere, the townsfolk are gathered for their big rock and roll record roundup and destruction.
Suddenly, various things happen simultaneously. Old woman in a wheelchair transforms into a switch-blade wielding werewolf who kills 2 other guys in the band.
The townsfolk are still jumping up on the records like a bunch of idiots. Cassie’s dad has decided it is time to kill the band.
Cassie is able to warn Jesse about the mob (who doesn’t know about the rest of the band being killed.) They run into the woods to escape one of the freaks: bald guy with a chainsaw who loses it and is replaced with a weed whacker… It is too dark to see anything. Jesse gives her a tape of the reanimation song to play if things go wrong and split up.
Pseudo-Traci Lords continues her interpretive dance.
The bald guy kills Jesse with a weed whacker.
At the mansion, the family is having a meal to mourn the passing of the band. German grandfather is against rock and roll. He offers Ron, the band manager, a new job. Grandfather unmasks…IT’S HITLER!!! He starts off on a rant about conquering the world starting with California.
Cassie is at Jesse’s grave. She keeps crying but plays the tape. The ground bursts open much like in Creepshow. The band crawls out of their graves and look much tougher now.
Hitler tries to convince Ron to accept the job which has something to do with poisonous gas. Pointless rant later, Hitler wants Ron killed.
Bald guy (who killed Jesse) has Ron tied up and readies his ax.
A flashback is interposed with band jerkily walking to an instrumental tune that makes Axle F seem like Tubular Bells from the Exorcist.
Zombie Jesse frees Ron and easily dispatches bald guy. The other band members take care of the other freaks like werewolf-granny. Flashing back to their own deaths, the band takes care of the midgets. Hitler finds the bodies and resumes ranting but is killed by the band.
Ron tries to warn the town about Hitler and the zombies. Some old guy reveals that Hitler and Eva Braun hid in the town for decades. Even worse, they are all freaks. When they die, they will become ghouls. The old guy seeming dies several times to reveal a little more information before finally dying. Some folks head to the mansion to investigate.
Some guy is killed by a ghoul girl. Hitler awakens for a craving for flesh.
The zombie band takes off in their van to the concert.
More folks search the mansion and are killed by the ghouls.
Sheriff and his deputy are in their car when Pseudo-Traci Lords reanimates and kills them.
The zombie midgets are on the loose.
Don Matson, the big record exec, arrives for the concert. The zombie band is warming up. Cassie seems suitably disturbed by them.
During the warm up, Don thinks the makeup is part of their act. The Cassie song starts again. When you’d rather hear Steve Perry than something is a good indication
of how bad things are. The band footage is intercut with a white dressed Cassie romantically running in slo-motion to the white and ascot clad Jesse.
Oh Sarah, Brandy, Sherry, Beth. What's your name?
Holding hands and spinning in circles like in many a cheezy videos.
Zombie midget, Mickey chases after a teen couple. The girl starts screaming when she spots the midget and begins freaking out. Her boyfriend goes to investigate. However, only his severed returns. The girl gets scared and a comedic speeded-up chase with corny music ensues.
The disfigured midget zombie begins to self cannibalize himself.
The townsfolk try to decide what to do. How to stop the zombies? They learn that zombies hate heads.
The disfigured midget zombie is still eating off body parts.
Jesse’s band is still rocking. Don is suitably impressed with what he thinks is the greatest rock find ever?
The town manages to trap a few zombies.
The disfigured zombie midget is still at his meal.
Mickey the one-eyed zombie midget chases after a cow and prefers his beef a bit on the rare side.
Midget, Nazi, zombie willing to eat cattle are hard to find.
Mother finds a severed head in her grocery bag. Her daughter starts playing with it.
Disfigured zombie midget is still eating. He must chew very slowly.
Jesse keeps rocking.
Townsfolk have several giant cardboard heads of celebrities to try to scare the zombies. At first, it seems to work but then backfires. Pseudo-Traci Lords interpretive zombie dance ensues.
Pseudo-Traci Lords is on stage with Jesse’s band. She is crawling on them like Tawny Kitaen on Whitesnake’s car. More zombies show up at the concert.
The surviving townsfolk learn that allowing the zombies to bone a virgin will put them to sleep for 100 years. Where to find a virgin? Something happens in the dark. Cassie finds them. The lightbulb flashes over the collective head of the townsfolk. As they drag her away, Ron gets the ring Jesse gave Cassie and runs off.
Don wants Jesse to sign right now. However, the zombies start to load up their van and leave. Zombies feast upon a crooked record executive.
Ron talks with Don (unaware of the zombified status of the executive.) Don isn’t able to catch Ron who runs off.
The townsfolk drag Cassie with them.
Ron finds the band has returned to their graves. He tells them what will happen to Cassie. They crawl out of their graves like in Creepshow.
It is too dark to see anything. Cassie is screaming as the zombies approach her. When rock music starts, Jesse is playing the reanimation song. The evil zombies follow the band which head into the gas chamber. Ron and Cassie lock them in and start the gas.
Gassed zombies ensue. The band members are the last to die and the most dignified, too.
Disfigured midget zombie is able to eat the skin off his skull only leaving the bone.
Cassie and Ron are at the cemetery when he leaves. Cassie will remember and love Jesse forever. A hand shoots out of the ground to give her the ring.
The Cassie song plays once more.
