Replacement Killers (1998)

Cast:

Chow "Full Contact" Yun-Fat is John Lee
Mira "Can I leer at her a little more?..." Sorvino is Meg Coburn
Michael Rooker is Zedkov
Jurgen "I am the Duke Leto Atriedes!!! Ruler of ARRAKIS" Prochnow is Kogan

What the box says:

International action star Chow Yun-Fat (John Woo's Hard Boiled) makes his Hollywood debut with Oscar®-winner Mira Sorvino (1995 Best Supporting Actress, Mighty Aphrodite) in The Replacement Killers, a fierce and explosive action thriller from director Antoine Fuqua (Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise" video).

After he betrays Mr. Wei, the ruthless crime boss who hired him to avenge his son's death, professional killer John Lee (Chow) goes on the run. Enlisting the aid of the beautiful document forger Meg Coburn (Sorvino), Lee attempts to return to his family in China before they are victimized by his betrayal. But, Wei's army of "replacement killers" is hot on his trail, and now both he and Meg are targets of their impressive firepower. With both sides fully armed and determined to fight to the death, an ultra-violent shoot-out breaks out when they finally face each other. It's "a seemless fusion of Hong Kong action-adventure style and cool" (The New York Times) that will blow everyone away -- including you!

Plot:

Night in the city, at the generic trendy night club playing Blade techno music, we get the first deliberate bad man walk to ensue. Let’s face it, every Chow Yun Fat movie, I see I think “Dude, it’s Chow Yun Fat!” It is hard to consider him as his characters name. Chow walks up to a table, places a designer bullet like the Lone Ranger would do. He then promptly opens fire. He shoots the target and the bodyguards.

A sleek Miami Vice type cigarette boat races across the harbor as cops watch it. A drug buy is going down. Cops surround them. Leader guy shoots at the Zedkov, head cop. Zedkov is able to hit Leader who is limping. The foot chase now begins. Limping Leader climbs a tanker. Zedkov demands his surrender. Leader draws first but is shot and falls into the harbor, dead.

At the funeral, Mr. Wei leads the procession for his son. Zedkov watches from a distance.

Chow is in Chinatown to meet with Mr. Wei. Chow has one more assignment before his obligation to Mr. Wei id fulfilled.

Could an assassin be unable to assemble a sniper rifle? Chow watches Zedkov through the scope. Zedkov’s son rushes out to see his daddy. Chow sees all this but can’t pull the trigger.

Later at a Buddhist temple, Chow is meditating and talks with a monk about disobeying Mr. Wei. He asks the monk to get his mother and sister to safety.

Wei is told how Chow didn’t do the hit as ordered.

Chow calls Eddie, his gun supplier about a passport. He is told of Mira Sorvino which is a good thing.

Mira is working on a fake passport when she lets Chow inside. He pays up front. Then a group of guys storm her apartment. While Chow dispatches them, Mira runs off. But, she can handle a gun fairly good herself. More guys keep coming. Chow and Mira are on the run when the cops manage to grab her. Chow escapes up a roof.

At a criminal enterprise, Mr. Wei learns that Chow is still alive. He wants more hired guns of Chow’s caliber. I know that’s a very bad pun.

Police station, Zedkov interrogates Mira. She is told that Wei is involved. She is let go so the cops can follow her to see what develops.

Mira heads back to her apartment. After a nice scene of her down in her underwear, she begins the panic clothes grab evacuation. Someone is there besides her. It is Chow still wanting his passport. He tries to get her realize she’s safer with him than on her own.

The cops have managed to pull a single image off Mira’s bullet-ridden computer of Chow.

Why am I on Windows clone?

Chow and Mira are looking for Chow’s gun supplier. They find him dead. A group of hired guns and Kogan, Wei’s right hand man, arrive. They disarm Chow. Mira asks to be let go. After our intrepid heroes are cuffed, the beatings being. Chow manages to get a hold of a gun which breaks out the next gunfight.

Kogan and his men search for Chow. Chow manages to kill each of the single searchers. Kogan runs off. Chow comes back for Mira.

Chow and Mira have a carload of gunmen to escape. They manage to drive away before the cops arrive on the scene.

Kogan reports back to Mr. Wei. He doesn’t give this guy’s good speech about Chow. Apparently, Chow’s father was a soldier, very ruthless. Chow has inherited a Super Soldier like abilities from his father.

The Replacement Killers finally arrive. Dude and Danny Trejo are the killers. Trejo is the mean looking guy with the giant tattoo on his chest in possibly his only movie not to show that tattoo. Johnny 23 from Con Air.

Chow has to relocate Mira’s leg. She draws a gun on his head, demanding to know what is happening. Chow quickly takes the gun from her. Wei is using Chow’s family to insure he kills who he’s ordered to kill. The first two men were criminals. But, Chow couldn’t kill the third. He has to get back to China to protect his family.

Chow calls the monk who has the word out to find his family. The monk will let Chow use his passport. They just need a picture of Chow for the passport.

At a local arcade, Mira is being hit on by Loco. Well, Loco is scared off by Chow. While Mira uses the photo booth for Chow’s picture, Loco makes a phone call.

Back at Wei’s headquarters, Kogan receives a phone call.

At the arcade, Chow reveals to Mira the hit wasn’t on Zedkov but his 7 year old son. Mr. Wei wanted Zedkov to know the loss of a son.

Dude and Danny open fire in the arcade. Extreme cruelty to video and pinball games ensues. The Killers are searching for Chow and Mira.

They get to a nearby parking garage. The Killers pretty much open fire on anyone around them. Chow and Mira run off. A police car arrives and is promptly ventilated by the Killers.

Zedkov calls home. He is planning to take his son to a cartoon festival at a theater. Kogan overhears the conversation.

At the temple, Mira find the monk is dead. But, Chow’s family is safe for now. Chow has the passport.

Mira is working on the fake passport. The Killers are going to complete Chow’s contract on Zedkov’s fid. Chow has the passport now. Pondering what to do, he decides he needs guns.

Loco is playing craps. Mira promptly beats him like a government mule. Chow finds Loco’s secret cache of weapons.

Chow is driving to the theater to save the kid as Mira is loading the guns.

The Replacement Killers are prepping, too.

Chow and Mira look into the dark theater looking for Zedkov and his son. The Killers are in the balcony. Chow jumps and takes a bullet in the arm. Panic ensues. Chow is able to shoot dude. Danny is still firing. Chow will cover Zedkov and kid’s escape.

Danny is trying to open fire on Chow.

After the police arrive, Zedkov realizes his son was the target. Mira and Chow saved his son. He grabs an assault rifle, going to take care of business…

At the temple, Chow is using folk remedies on the gunshot wound. Mira is going with him.

Kogan and Mr. Wei are about to leave to take care of Chow’s family. Danny is to stay and complete the contract. They’re in the car in an alley when Chow opens fire on them. The car slams into reverse to escape the barrage. However, Chow has implanted many bullets into his enemies.

Wei runs off. Mira comes to Chow’s rescue, barely escaping a rocket launcher attack herself.

Chow is chasing Wei.

Kogan is after Mira.

Chow is pinned down by Danny.

Kogan can’t find Mira. She is able to perforate him with a handy knife.

Somehow, Danny falls over shot.

Chow meets Wei. He quickly puts a bullet in Wei’s head.

The end of the final gunfight summons a rain. Zedkov is on the street with the rifle he used to kill Danny.

In the stairs on the building, Chow meets Zedkov. Chow hands over his gun and leaves with Mira.

Cops arrive on the scene right after Chow gets away.

At the airport, Mira gives Chow fake passports for his family. They have an awkward goodbye as Chow leaves.

What I say:

This has to be one of the original true style over substance movies from the late 90s: the music video style of movie making. Well, the director’s big fame to claim before this was a Coolio video. He has gone on to bigger and better things since then or so I’ve heard. He’s directing the new King Arthur meets Braveheart movie. We may be witnessing the afterbirth of the next Renny Harlin. Let us all try to shudder simultaneously....

The action scenes have the American-though-thoroughly-inspired-by-Hong-Kong-style about them. Or better known as trying to steal from better movies. That is understandable. But, Hong Kong action seems to have more thought behind it. The Replacement Killers just doesn’t have the poetic feel of John Woo even if he was a producer on this movie. But, we’ve got Chow Yun Fat in a movie that feels like a diet-low-calorie John Woo movie. Granted, they decided to make it more available to American audiences: the spunky pseudo love interest of Mira Sorvino.

This movie oozes music video style though not as much as Blade. The slow motion scenes and the blatant techno music in the background scream music video. Who has green lighting in their bathroom? Not that anything that has Mira Sorvino in next to nothing is bad thing. Because, most of the movie I spent oogling her. I admit it. Let's try to sound more professional for a few paragraphs. There is no debate between style and substance in this movie. Why should any substance be in this movie? That would slow the pace of this movie as the heroes go from one gunfight to the next.

Chow Yun Fat acquits himself admirably in his first Hollywood movie. Too bad, he wasn’t as good as in The Corrupter. Actually, Chow hasn’t really had much success with Hollywood: Bulletproof Monk and Anna and the King. In fact his biggest movie in years was Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

Mira Sorvino, Paul Sorvino’s greatest gift to the world. Well, I may love The Stuff. But, Mira is definitely easier on the eyes. Granted, it is hard to take her as a tough gun wielding forger. Forger is easier than accepting she could handle herself in a gunfight.

Danny Trejo may not be very widely known. But, if I mention he was Johnny 23 from Con Air, more people would recognize him. He has the huge tattoo of a woman covering his chest. This is probably the only movie of his I can think of the tattoo isn’t seen. Now, a black clad, thoroughly pissed-off Danny Trejo isn’t one you want to anger.

Jurgen Prochnow is slumming, desperately needing a paycheck. It is sad to see an actor fall so low, at least a talented one. Most people get a sick joy of wondering what travesty Travolta will unleash upon us next. Well, to be honest, slumming in the Replacement Killers is Shakespeare compared to his appearance in House of the Dead. I’ve heard so many bad things about that movie it calls to me almost like Battlefield Earth.

Movies love to throw people together only for them to discover they love or learn to re-love the other main character. That is even more prevalent than the pointless love scenes. I always had a theory sweet lovin’ before a battle was like Mario getting a power-up. The better done movies will try to not have the action-sex-power-up. Low budget movies needed some way to put a little flesh into the movie tastefully instead of going to a strip club.

As a movie to watch with your brain turned off, The Replacement Killers is a decent action movie. But, if you think about it with comparison to any good action movies, it falls apart under its style. Chow Yun-Fat had to learn English before making this movie. And, so he comes almost as a hero in a Spaghetti Western or Kurt Russell in Soldier with as little as he says.

Some movies anger me for their being able to screw up such a great premise. Now, Chow Yun-Fat as a killer refusing a job and being pursued by other hit men is a good action premise. I had seen Hard Boiled before this movie. And, as an understatement, that movie blew me away. I’ve seen The Replacement Killers several times over the years before watching it for Sideorderofninjas purposes. And, other Chow Yun-Fat movies color my feelings about this movie, too. Full Contact is a good example.

The more I think about it the more I think The Replacement Killers would have worked better with a different actor. The advertising campaign was trying to make American audiences buy into the hype of Chow Yun-Fat without seeing any of his movies that would have shown how incredible his earlier work is. How could any moviegoers know what he could do even if the phrase “international action star” is used? That really doesn’t say much of anything. Now, Chow can at least be recognized from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

As an action movie, it is ok. But, thinking about it as a Chow Yun-Fat movie, it isn’t that good. But, with even most of his later American movies, it starts to make The Replacement Killers look better. At least, we have Mira Sorvino to watch instead of Stifler.

Quotable Dialogue
"I'm slow that way, so you'll have to be specific."
"Smile and say 'flight from prosecution.'"
"Aren't there a billion John Lees in China?"
"I've always considered myself a feminist pioneer."
"I'd be causing myself unnecessary drama."
Morals of the Story
Criminals can be run over by a car at least twice with no ill effects besides limping.
A body will stop machine gun fire.
Jumping through windows is easy and doesn't hurt.