Dear Crabby,
Last night after his bath, my two-year-old son came down the stairs wearing nothing but a towel and saying, "I am a princess." Should I be concerned about his sexual identity?
- Concerned Queen
Dear Concerned Queen,
Sexual identity, smexual identity! I'd be more concerned right now about finding a second job. Don't you realize how high maintenance those bitches can be?
-Crabby
Dear Crabby,
I have work to do, and a very limited amount of time to do it. I keep saying I'm going to log out of my favorite message board and get to work, but I can't seem to help myself. I need to knuckle under and get some work done. What should I do?
- Addicted to the Board
Dear Addicted to the Board,
You need to quit berating yourself and go with your strengths, dear. I don't care what others may have told you--procrastination is a beautiful thing. Stand firm. LONG and firm. And really, isn't work overrated anyway?
Keep up the good...er...work.
-Crabby
Dear Crabby,
I dropped my car off for routine maintenance this morning, and now I'm waiting for the guy to pick me up and take me back to the service station so that I can pay the bill. I have no idea how much it's going to be. I never did get a chance to put on makeup today, and I'm wondering if perhaps I should slip into something slinky and make myself presentable before he gets here.
Do you think it will help, or should I just raid my daughter's piggy bank and prepare for the worst?
- Too Late to Negotiate?
Dear Too Late,
Looking to barter 'services,' are we? In that case, slinky is definitely a good thing, but go easy on the lipstick--it can create some messy evidence, as he may be married. No sense frigging things up for next time around.
-Crabby
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