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Internet Humor Collection
Updated 1/1/2001
(S)HE WAS SO DUMB THAT...
15 FAMOUS SPORTS QUOTES
1998 DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES AND "WANNA BE'S"
24 INTERESTING THINGS THAT YOU LEARN ABOUT COMPUTERS IN THE MOVIES....
A CONTRIBUTION TO THE MATHEMATICAL THEORY OF BIG GAME HUNTING
A FAST FOOD JOB APPLICATION
A LITTLE "IT" HUMOR
ACCIDENT REPORTS
ACCOUNTANCY HUMOR
ACTUAL ANNOUNCEMENTS TAKEN FROM CHURCH BULLETINS
ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS:
ACTUAL PHONE ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGES
ACTUAL SIGNS
AH, WILDERNESS
AIR FORCE SQUAWKS
AMATEUR ARCHAEOLOGIST
ANAGRAMS
ANALOGIES
BABY TALK
BAD LUCK STORIES
BAD WRITING CONTEST WINNERS
BAR JOKES
BEAVER DAM: MICHIGAN DEQ
BEER TROUBLESHOOTING
BILL, HILLARY, AND AL WERE IN AN AIRPLANE THAT CRASHED
BLONDE JOKES
BLONDE JOKES II
BLONDE JOKES, ONE-LINERS
BLONDE JOKES, PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION JOKES SHOW
BRITISH IN AMERICA: GOING NATIVE
BRITISH SIGNS
BUSH READS A BOOK
BUSH HORRIFIED TO LEARN PRESIDENTIAL SALARY
CANNIBALS
CANTONESE MOVIE TITLES
CAREERS IN SCIENCE OFFER WOMEN AN UNUSUAL BONUS: IMMORTALITY
CASUAL DAY: HOW TO KILL A GOOD IDEA...
CAT IN PRISON (Image)
CATCHING RABBITS
CHICKENS WATCH TELEVISION
CHILI TASTING
CHOCOLATE IS A VEGETABLE
CLASSIC SUPPORT CALL: WORDPERFECT
CLEANER POLISHES OFF PATIENTS
CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS TO BOSNIA
CLINTON IN THE LAND OF OZ
COMEDIAN QUOTES
COMEDIANS' BEST LINES, 1997
CONGRESS PASSES "AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES" ACT
CORPORATE STRUCTURE
COURT TESTIMONY
COWS AND POLITICAL IDEOLOGIES
CREDIT CARD FEE (cartoon)
CRIES OF FOUL OVER HEADLESS CHICKEN
CURIOUS GEORGE
DAILY OFFICE EXERCISES FOR THE NON-ATHLETIC OFFICE WORKER
DEEP THOUGHTS (BY JACK HANDEY)
DILBERT QUOTES
DILBERT'S SALARY THEOREM
DIVERSITY
DOG AND CAT HUG (image)
DOG QUOTES
DON'T STEP ON THE DUCKS
DOS vs. MAC
DOUBLE NEGATIVES
DUMB AND IRONIC DEATHS
DUMB CROOKS
THE DYSFUNCTIONAL SECTION OF A HALLMARK STORE
ELEVATOR ACTS
ELOQUENT INSULTS
ENDANGERED SPECIES
ENGLISH IS A CRAZY LANGUAGE
ENGLISH IS TOUGH STUFF
ETCH-A-SKETCH TECHNICAL SUPPORT
EURO-ENGLISH
FUNERAL
FUNNY PHOTOS
GEEK HUMOR: VIRUSES
GEEK HUMOR: PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION
GENERATION X AND THEIR OFFICE LINGO
GHANDI
GOD'S TOTAL QUALITY MANAGEMENT QUESTIONNAIRE
GREAT BITS OF WISDOM FOR OUR TIME
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE
HAIKU ERROR MESSAGES
HALLOWEEN FUNNIES
HAVE YOU NOTICED...?
HEADACHES
HEADSTONES
HMO JOKE
HOSPITAL HUMOR
HOTEL SOAPS
HOW DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
HOW TO INSTALL SOFTWARE: A 12-STEP PROGRAM
HOW TO RIDE A DEAD HORSE
HOW TO TRAIN FOR PARENTHOOD
HUNTING BEARS
I LOOK LIKE MY DOG
IF MEN WERE IN CHARGE OF WEDDINGS...
IMPORTANT LATIN PHRASES...
IN THE BEGINNING
INFORMATION TRANSFORMATION
INSURANCE STATEMENTS
INTERNET JOKES ABOUT ECONOMISTS AND ECONOMICS
INTERNET URBAN LEGEND MEDLEY
INTERVIEW TIPS
IRAQ
IT'S AN AD, AD, AD, AD WORLD
JENNY HOLZER SURVIVAL, 1983-1985
JEWISH HAIKU
JOB APPLICATIONS
JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED (image)
KIDS' ANSWERS ABOUT LOVE AND MARRIAGE...
KIDS JOKES ON PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION
KIDS ON SCIENCE
KURT VONNEGUT'S ALLEGED COMMENCEMENT ADDRESS AT MIT
LATE NIGHT ELECTION HUMOR
LETTERS TO GOD
LIGHTBULB JOKES
MAKE THE PIE HIGHER, Poem by George W. Bush
MALE BASHING
MANAGED CARING PLAN
MARRIAGE
MARTHA STEWART HOLIDAY CALENDAR
MARTHA STEWART'S TIPS FOR REDNECKS
MCDONNELL DOUGLAS WARRANTY REGISTRATION
MEDICAL CHARTS, ACTUAL SENTENCES
MEMORY PROBLEMS
MEN VS. WOMEN
MICROSOFT TAG LINES
MICROSOFT VS. GENERAL MOTORS
MILITARY OFFICER EFFICIENCY REPORTS
MISCELLANEOUS
MISCELLANEOUS, PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION JOKES SHOW
MISUNDERSTANDINGS
MODELS ARE FROM ALPHA CENTAURI
MONK GLOATS OVER YOGA CHAMPIONSHIP
MORE AIRLINE HUMOR
MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENTS
MYSTERIES
NEW CONTRACT PROCUREMENT
NEW DEFINITIONS
NEW TRAVEL POLICY
NEW!!! WIFE 1.0 NOW RELEASED
NEWSPAPER READERS
NOTES AND QUERIES ON SEX
NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
OCCUPATIONAL DESCRIPTIONS
OCCUPATIONAL JOKES
ODDBALL FACTOIDS TO CHALLENGE YOUR CREDULITY
OJ
OLYMPICS OFFICIAL COMPETITOR APPLICATION
ONE-LINER COMEBACKS
ONION HEADLINES
PARROT
PENTIUM SLOGANS
PERSONAL ADS FROM THE LONDON REVIEW OF BOOKS
PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION JOKES (Use Search Feature)
PREDICTIONS: BOY, WERE THEY WRONG!!
PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT
PUNS
QUAYLISMS
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
QUOTATIONS
QUOTES OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS
REAL EXCUSES RECEIVED BY SCHOOLTEACHERS
RELATIONSHIPS, PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION JOKES SHOW
REPLIES TO AN INVITATION TO THE SCIENTIST'S BALL
RESUMANIA
ROYAL NAVY AND MARINES OFFICER FITNESS REPORTS
SALON ON-LINE MAGAZINE
SCIENTISTS DISCOVER THIRD CINDY CRAWFORD FACIAL EXPRESSION
SEATBELT
SEINFELD'S TAKE ON MATTERS
SEVENTEEN
SIDNEY HARRIS CARTOONS
SNOWMAN
SO YOU THINK YOU'RE COMPUTER-ILLITERATE?
SOME MEMORABLE HEADLINES
STAR TREK COOKBOOK
STATE MOTTOS
STATE OF KENTUCKY RESIDENCY APPLICATION
STEVEN WRIGHT QUOTATIONS
SUBJECT: CUP HOLDER
SUBJECT: MUSICAL HUMOR
TAKE ME, I'M YOURS
TALKING PARROTS
TEACHING MATH
THE 50'S WOMAN
THE 90'S WOMAN
THE CYNIC'S GUIDE TO LIFE
THE HEAVIEST ELEMENT?
THE HUNTING OF ELEPHANTS
THE INTERNET
THE MONTH AFTER CHRISTMAS
THE NEWBIE'S SONG
THE PERILS OF GLOBAL TRADE...
THE PRIEST'S HOUSEKEEPER
THE TWELVE DAYS AFTER CHRISTMAS
THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS PRICE INDEX
THEORIES
THINGS DAVE BARRY HAS LEARNED IN 50 YEARS...
THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES
TOP 10 REASONS COMPILERS MUST BE FEMALE
TOP 10 REASONS COMPUTERS ARE MALE
TOP 12 THINGS LIKELY TO BE OVERHEARD IF YOU HAD A KLINGON PROGRAMMER
TOP 22 SIGNS YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH OF THE 90'S
TOP EXCUSES FOR GETTING CAUGHT SLEEPING IN YOUR CUBICLE
TRAVEL AGENT STORIES
ULTIMATE ONENESS: RECENT MERGERS
UNDERSTANDING COMPUTER JARGON
USEFUL ENGLISH SYSTEM CONVERSION UNITS
USEFUL INTERNET EMOTICONS
VAGRANTS ARE FED UP WITH KINDNESS
VOCABULARY
VOCABULARY EXPANSION
VOCABULARY EXPANSION (MORE)
WAYS TO MEASURE A BUTT
WEB HUMOR TIDBITS
WEIRD TRIVIA
WELCOME TO PSYCHIATRIC HOTLINE
WELL-KNOWN EXPRESSIONS
WELL-KNOWN PROVERBS
WHAT IF DR. SEUSS DID TECHNICAL WRITING?
WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED??
WHAT JOKES, PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION JOKES SHOW
WHAT MEN SAY/WHAT MEN MEAN
WHAT MOVIE DIRECTORS WOULD HAVE US BELIEVE
WHAT WOMEN SAY/WHAT WOMEN MEAN
WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
WHY GOD NEVER RECEIVED TENURE AT THE UNIVERSITY
WHY PAY CONSULTANTS?
WIFE 1.0 TECHNICAL SUPPORT
WINNERS OF THE FOURTH BAD WRITING CONTEST (1998)
WISE QUOTATIONS
A WOMAN'S FACTS ABOUT MEN
WORST OPENING LINES: LYTTON PRIZE
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF
YOU MIGHT BE A YANKEE IF
YOU'VE BEEN IN CORPORATE AMERICA TOO LONG WHEN...
YUPPIE ON VACATION
ZEN HOT DOGS
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