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In our lives many things are always changing. In my life, some changes have been extreme.

Once, my aunt told me that my father was very proud of me when I was born. He lifted me up and announced happily, “My baby is the most beautiful baby in our village.” Oh, I am so surprised that I had this honor. But during the Sino-Japanese war, I was ten and became an ugly little girl. Because of famine, I was very thin. At that time, my mother needed to take care of six children. To save time, she cut my hair and my sisters’ very short. My big forehead stuck out. That made my face look longer and thinner. In addition, I only had one prominent incisor; near it was a hole. I thought that incisor might never grow out. Therefore, I dared not grin or laugh likes other kids. If I laughed, I would quickly cover my mouth with my hand, so nobody would see the hole. Usually, I shut my mouth tightly. That made me looks like a little monkey. One day, I heard two relatives whispering behind me: “How ugly she is! A Chou Ba Kuai (ugly monster).” The criticism made me unhappy. I felt inferior. Thank God, at last my other incisor grew out and I gained the normal eight. Even though I was not a pretty girl, at least I was not a Chou Ba Kuai anymore.

The other change is my bodily form. When I was young, I was slim. My waist was 25 inches and I always kept my weight at 98 to 100 pounds. But after I gave birth to my second child, I became a plump woman. My waist increased to 30 inches and my weight was up to 125 pounds. After I immigrated to New York, because of plentiful nutrition and good food, my body, like a balloon, became bigger and bigger. The worst is I have big and ugly stomach. One day our classmate David Chen warned me, “You are a super fatty. Watch your weight and health.” I tried to diet, but I did not lose weigh, not even one pound. Now I only pray that I do not continually gain weight.

Before, I always boasted that I was a very healthy person. In fact, I seldom got sick, neither a fever nor a cold. I had vitality and enough energy to work and to study. So I never worried about my health. But in April, 2001, I had a mammogram. The doctor found a small lump in my left breast. After doing a biopsy, my doctor verified that I had breast cancer. At first, I could not believe it when I heard this bad news. It really was a big mockery to me. Anyway, I needed to accept the cruel reality and I had surgery. Now, I have survived, but I do not know that will happen next.

From “most beautiful baby” to “Chou Ba Kuai,” from “slim” to “fatty,” from “healthy” to “cancer patient” –these are extreme changes. Sometimes you can’t control the changes, but you can face the changes with a positive attitude and emotions, and make things okay.

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