Announcer	"Oh my, I haven't seen a Jew run like that since Poland, 1938"
Cartman	"I'm not fat, I'm big boned"
Cartman	"Oh my God, I'm a black African American"
Cartman	"Hey, thanks for burning everything down you little b*tch"
Cartman	"Ya, cartoons kick ass!"
Cartman	"You piece of crap, I'll kill you!"
Cartman	"Whats up homeys I was down in the SPC kickin it with some G's on the Westside"
Cartman	"...No kitty this is my pot pie...no kitty thats a bad kitty, no kitty thats my pot pie...MOM!"
Cartman	"God I will kick you in the nuts"
Cartman	"I am so pissed off"
Cartman	"I'm not fat, I'm festively plump"
Cartman	"You will respect my authority!"
Cartman	"Hey, **click** I'll blow your friggin' head off!"
Cartman	"No that sounds pretty sweet to me"
Cartman	"Oh, here comes the unholy butthole now"
Cartman	"Yeah kick ass"
Cartman	"Screw you guys, I'm going home!"
Cartman	"So who put his who-who dilly in your cha-cha?"
Cartman	"Its all a bunch of tree huggin', hippie crap"
Cartman	"You need to lay off the cough syrup alright, seriously, I'm worried about you man"
Cartman	"Come on let me kick you in the nuts for it!"
Cartman	"Well I guess we'll have to roshambo for it, I'll kick you in the nuts as hard as I can then you kick me square in the nuts as hard as you can"
Cartman	"I know, drugs are bad because if you do drugs your a hippie and hippies suck"
Cartman	"I've been licking this carpet for 3 hours and I still don't feel like a lesbian"
Cartman	"Well you can tell Kyle that he's a dirty, god damn son of a b*tch!"
Cartman	"Be a man Stan, just say, 'hey woman, you shut your mouth and make babies'"
Cartman	"Hey, get out of my ass you stupid rainbows"
Cartman	"Beefcake" "Beefcake" etc
Cartman	"Democrats piss me off"
Cartman	"Who cut your hair? Stevie Wonder?"
Cartman	"I like playing with myself. I play with myself all day long"
Cartman	"Hey, to bad drinking scotch isn't a paying job or else Kenny's dad would be a millionaire"
Cartman & Chef	"My mom says there's a lot of black people in China" "What?"
Cartman & Kyle	"What the hell are you doing Cartman?" "My mom says if you wanna be a lesbian you have to lick carpet"
Cartman & Mr. Marsh	"Sir, step out of the car please" "Ya, your the one that always plugs up the toilet at our house"
Cartman & Mr. McCormick	"Poor people tend to live in clusters" "What, what did you say?" "Nothing"
Cartman & Stan	"Hey, speaking of pouding ass, here comes Stan's little homo dog" "Shut up dude!"
Cartman & Stan	"He's doing something to his ass, he's not kicking his ass, but he is definately doing something to his ass." "Sparky bad dog!"
Chef	"Doctor, we've got a shot cracker outside!"
Chef	"That is one fudged up little cracker!"
Chef	"Ok, everybody get in a line so I can whoop all your asses!"
Chef & Kyle	"I just, uh, stopped by cause little Kyle forgot his laundry detergent on the playground" "My laundry detergent?" "Crazy crackers always leaving their detergent all over the place"
Chef	Part of Chef's "Chocolate Salty Balls"
Chef & Children	"Hello there children" "Hey Chef" "How are my little crackers today?" "Good"
Big Gay Al & Stan	"Hello little fella, how are you doing today? "Fine, how are you?" "Super thanx for asking!"
Jimbo	"Coming up next, we're gonna drop some napalm on an unsuspecting family of beavers."
Kenny	Mumble
Kyle	"Wow I always knew Cartman's mom was a slut, but goddamn!"
Kyle	"I'm King Lesbian
Kyle	"Come on you frenchy little frog"
Kyle & Stan	"Bye-bye fartboy, see ya"
Kyle & Stan	"Oh my God they killed Kenny, you bastard"
Kyle & Stan	"**muffled screams** Oh my god they killed Kenny, you bastards"
Mrs. Crabtree & Kyle	"I said sit down!" "Oh shut up you fat b*tch!" "What did you say!?" "I said I have a bad itch" "Oh"
Mr. Garrison	(Kyle asks to leave)"...no you hear me you go to hell, you go to hell and you die!"
Mr Garrison	"Eric do you need to sit in the corner until you flaming gas is under control?"
Mr. Garrison	"Buzz, wrong try again dumbass, hahahaha!"
Mr. Garrison	"You go to hell, you go to hell and you die"
Mr. Garrison	"Holy poop on a stick"
Mr. Garrison	"School is over but summer vacation doesn't start for you little bastards until Mr. Hat is back on my desk!"
Mr. Garrison	"Now come on, honestly, who here has never had sex with Mrs. Cartman?"
Mr. Garrison	"Boy did we get screwed!"
Mr. Garrison	"Well spank my ass and call me Charlie"
Pip	"My name is Phillip but everyone calls me Pip because they hate me"
Stan	"I'll kick your ass Cartman!"
Stan & Cartman	"Well at least my mom's not on the cover of Crackwhore Magazine!" "What, what did you say!?"