Monty Python
Red Dwarf
Are You Being Served
Fry and Laurie
Young Ones
Father Ted
Peter Cook
Dudley Moore
E.L. Wisty
Oscar Wilde
The Fuscos
Rude Star Wars...
Did You Know...
What Not to Say...
About Me
Tenacious D

Cat, Lister, Mr Flibble & Rimmer, RD, Kryten, Cat & Lister

Smoke Me A Kipper, I'll Be Back For Breakfast

You are visitor number since Rimmer last had it off.

Howdy smeggeroonies!

RD animation courtesy Beej.

  • Kryten's Home Page!

  • Check out a guitar transcription of the instrumental Red Dwarf theme, by Howard Goodall. If you play guitar, can read tab, and have a hankerin', check it out.

  • There be scripts here! Check below under the script listing to view or download script files for each of season I through VII's scripts...

  • If anyone would like to email your favorite quotes, tell me about your fave episodes, pass along bizarre Red Dwarf type lists, or any such thing of a Dwarfish nature, mail me (at the mailbox, bottom o' the page, Skipper). I am more than willing to find a place for the choice bits on my page.

    Kryten, Cat, Lister, Rimmer

  • Browse a little Chris Barrie info, now with updated page layout!

  • LISTEN UP, GOITS! Do you need a daily Red Dwarf fix? Then the place for you is the Red Dwarf AOL Mailing List. Digests containing posts from other members are sent out once a day in a handy compact format. Chatlogs from chats on AOL, RD sounds, surveys, poetry, and imitation Flibble erasers are optional. To join this happy bunch of smegheads, email with the following message (or the equivalent): Flobber dob blib blob bleeb, please. Roughly translated: Sign me up!
    Tell Hol that Supahz sent you!

  • A special thanks to everyone who has sent along double-polaroid type exciting comments and criticisms!

T H A N K S!!

Buy Red Dwarf vids from Click the image below...

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Red Dwarf Episode List/Summary

Here's a listing and summary of the episodes in the first seven series of Red Dwarf (forty-four episodes total), in a rather snazzy white document.

There be scripts here! Click below on the appropriate series to read the corresponding script. Each file runs about 33KB in size.

  1. Series I
  2. Series II
  3. Series III
  4. Series IV
  5. Series V
  6. Series VI
  7. Series VII

Buy for Red Dwarf-related books from!

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A Few Sounds

All sounds are WAV format unless otherwise noted

Click here to hear Talkie Toaster's greeting to you. (15k)

Rimmer (Arnie & Ace)

Peruse a few of my favorite Rimmer Quotes
Read a little Chris Barrie info


Engage reading mode on a few of my favorite Kryten Quotes

(soon, soon)


Scope a few of my favorite Lister Quotes

(working on this, too)


Check out a few of my favorite Cat Quotes

(yep, working on it)


Gordon Bennett! This isn't exactly Holly from the big rouge one, but it is browse a few of Hol's Favorite Dwarf Quotes

Sup's Red Dwarf Mini Gallery

Images scanned by yours truly, Sup.

The Theme Song

RD animation courtesy Beej.

It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere,
I'm all alone, more or less,
Let me fly, far away from here,
Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun...
I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose,
Drinking fresh mango juice,
Goldfish shoals, nibbling at my toes,
Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun...
Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun...

The words to the Red Dwarf theme song have caused a bit of confusion for Dwarfers around the globe. The problem involves line seven, second word. The proper word here is "shoals", and not "are" as many gimboids (myself included) have suspected. A quick visit to Hol's databanks (actually the "Junior Galactic Dictionary (with pictures)") discovered this definition:

shoal (n) [(assumed to be from) Middle English 'shole', from the Old English 'scolu']:
a large group, as of fish.

Surprisingly, there are additional lyrics. James E Farrens (, clued me into this tidbit from the RD FAQ (version 5.19). The additional words appear on the CDs "Between The Lines" and "The Cult Files". Written by Ian Hu (who?), the lyrics are as follows...

I'll pack my bags and head into hyperspace
Velocity at time-warp speed
Spend my days in ultraviolet rays
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
We're locked on course straight through the universe
You and me, and the galaxy
Reached this stage, this hyperpathic age
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun

So now you know, gimps!
Click here for a guitar transcription of the instrumental Red Dwarf theme


Sheesh, talk about troublesome... Red Dwarf links come and go like winds in the smegging grass! There are many groovy personal RD sites out there, and Yahoo is probably the best way to get to them. Search Yahoo for whatever your greasy little hearts desire. Good luck, Novelty Condom Heads!

More on Chloe Annett

More on Chris Barrie

More on Craig Charles

More on Hattie Hayridge

More on Danny John-Jules

More on Robert Llewellyn

More on Norman Lovett

Yahoo's Red Dwarf sites

Sir, shall I pilot Starbug Back To Mr. Sup's Home Page?

The Pleasure Dome is being erected in earnest by
John G. Wright, or as he is known in Lizardly circles, Supahz

Special THANKS to Jeff Wright, Jeff Block, Alex Steedman, Beej, and James Farrens for their contributions... the gimps!!

This page looks smegging great after 5 beer milkshakes... and on Talkie Toaster's Crumpet Server...

DISCLAIMER! The words contained herein in whichever form are indeed copyrighted materials (except for my bits), and are the creative work of some of the most unbesmegginglievable and hilarious minds of the entire universe (yes, that includes even New Jersey). Use these words with flair, and/or use them to impress or confuse your friends. Now, run out and buy all of the Red Dwarf books and vids that you can get your hands on, m'laddo!