Monty Python
Red Dwarf
Are You Being Served
Fry and Laurie
Young Ones
Father Ted
Peter Cook
Dudley Moore
E.L. Wisty
Oscar Wilde
The Fuscos
Rude Star Wars...
Did You Know...
What Not to Say...
About Me
Tenacious D

"There is no cannibalism in the British navy, absolutely none, and when
I say none, I mean there is a certain amount." - Sir John Cunningham

Monty Python Sights, Sounds, Songs, Silliness

(Singing)"La di di, one two three, it's Eric the half a bee..."

You are visitor number since 932 A.D.

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The Ministry of Silly Walks

Wot's all this then?

It's a Python page, me ol' beauty... a very LOOOOOOONG Python page... so you'd better get used to the idea! If you've been here before, you'll notice that I have been updating this page infrequently, adding new sounds and text at a stunningly slow rate, and trying to provide the world with some of the lesser known Python bits. For example, how many people knew of Michael Palin's Professor Gumby article for American Libraries, the David Letterman Top Ten list about John Cleese, or the Python snail mail address? (Check my Various Bits section for new additions) Textual info, such as scripts from the telly series and the films, are readily available at other sites on the WWW, so I'm trying to refrain from placing them here... unless I come across funny bits that I haven't seen at the other places (I am planning on transcribing several newspaper articles in the near future). I am open to suggestions (though let's keep the rude ones to a minimum!), and would like to hear from Pythonites from around the globe.


To get where you'll like to be, click on a word in the grouping below.

Take it away, Eric the orchestra leader...


Python Profiles

For everyone out there who simply must know all about those wild Pythons, this really isn't the place to look. But click here anyway to read what they wrote of themselves in the hilarious and massively oversized


The Crusades

In 1995, Terry Jones presented a guided tour of the Crusades, the 11th and 12th century struggle for control of the Holy Land between the Muslims and Christians, on the History Channel and A&E. The program (in four parts) got good reviews, was informative, and was a lot of fun. All Python fans should try to see it because you'll enjoy it AND learn something! To see a large image (290x480x256) of the one below, click away!


Professor D.P. Gumby

Good evening. A long time ago, Michael Palin wrote an article on Professor D.P. Gumby's famous speech on the expanding library situation of the future for American Libraries. Previously only available to people with way too much time on their hands to find such an outlandish thing, this article can now be read in the privacy and comfort of your own home... or office... or school.


A Few Sounds

These sounds are now available for the first time ever to the public, thanks to a special agreement with no one in particular. They have been sampled economically, but the quality, to paraphrase a certain Hungarian/English phrasebook, may make your nipples explode with delight. For limited time only, these finely tooled hand-crafted UK wonder .WAVs are available for the small contribution of a nudge, a wink, and a quick shag courtesy Anne Elk (not too much to ask, really). Thank you, and piss off.

Flying Circus


The Holy Grail


Life of Brian

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The Meaning of Life


The Bizarre

  • Sup's "I Don't Like Spam" Jam (105k)
    I'm proud of this one. It's a short mix that I made using a sample from Cypress Hill's "Insane in the Membrane" and a sample of Graham Chapman ragging on Spam. Weird, but funny. If you like it, let me know and I'll see what other oddities I can come up with.
  • Sup's "Blackadder Hip Hop" (1.3 MB)
    This isn't a Python sound, but it's new so it's here. Just hatched on 30 March 1999, this is my mix of Lt. George and General Melchett with Digital Underground's "Humpty Dance". The file is 31 seconds long, 22,025 Hz, mono, 16-bit.
  • Sup's "Blackadder Hip Hop" (Real Audio/Media) (28 KB)
    This is a FAR INFERIOR Real Media/Audio version of the same file, for those of you who'd like to hear the tune without the long download.



Python's Snail Mail Address

Here's the address of the Python offices, as sent to me by Kim "Howard" Johnson. It netted me an autographed photo of Eric Idle (in Hindu warrior garb from "Splitting Heirs") and a program from the Hollywood Bowl shows.


A Few Songs

Text only!

Every Sperm Is Sacred Finland Brian
The Galaxy Song I Like Chinese Henry Kissinger
Sit On My Face All Things Dull And Ugly I've Got Two Legs
O Lord Please Don't Burn Us Eric The Half A Bee Christmas In Heaven
Medical Love Song The Money Song Bruces' Philosophers Song
Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life The Meaning Of Life Decomposing Composers
Brave Sir Robin Knights Of The Round Table Lumberjack Song


Various Bits

Buy Pythonic DVDs!
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Python Books
The poet Ewan McTeagle
John Cleese article, circa 1988
Python CD fun
David Letterman's "Top Ten reasons John Cleese Could Not Be On Our Program"
John Cleese newspaper clipping, circa 1989
Monty Python's Oscar Wilde Sketch


And Now For Something Completely Predictable...
Python Quotes

Yes, yes, I know... everyone in the mass of humanity knows bits of the "Nudge Nudge" and "Dead Parrot" sketches. But how many buggers out there can recite the longish name of the world's greatest forgotten composer? And how many gits truly recall the Butcher who is alternately insulting and polite? Sure, you may remember all about "The Lumberjack Song", but do you remember the cannibalistic undertaker? If your interest is now somewhat tweaked, then mayhaps you'll kindly click on the following word to go to some of Python's funniest bits in written form...



Spammy Links Section

Order Python DVDs for Christmas, Easter or Arbor Day from
and help support this site!
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There are many Python links. Many many many many many. Some are cooler than exploding penguins, and others are about as useful as a breakfast of spam, egg, sausage, spam and spam without the spam. It's up to you to decide what's ball-bouncingly fun or what makes you opine for something completely different. So go search Yahoo and leave me be, you miserable fat Belgian bastards!


"It's all a bit zany, a bit madcap... frankly, I don't fully understand it myself. The kids seem to like it..."

Oh bugger!

(Hey, don't steal my pics and such... email me first to ask!)

DISCLAIMER! The words contained herein are indeed copyrighted materials (except for my bits), and are the creative work of some of the most brilliant and hilarious minds of the 20th century (no, I'm not talking about John Paul George and Ringo!). Use these words peacefully, do not use them as deadly weapons, and by all means show the Pythons a little respect and buy everything that you see with their names on it (just like I have!). You REALLY shouldn't be running around trying to sell these sketches (or images or sounds for that matter), and if you are, then shame on you!