Thinker's Room
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... HMMM ...

Jacues Chiraq does not look his 71 years. Quite unlike George Bush and Tony Blair who look like their best friend was Methuselah

... WHAT'S NEW ...

CABINET TALES : ACT 1 A play revolving around some prominent ballers and shot callers
Visit the past archives of my assorted ramblings
Issue 75: Thursday May 20 2004 Advertisements and damn lies and some more wannabes!
A redesign is in the works

... MINE CALENDAR ...

18 June: Throwdown at Chiromo! Depart at sunrise
19 June: AfricaDotNet Meeting

... UNRESOLVED ISSUES ...
Superintendent Odol, fired because of doing his job and preventing grabbing of land by an Assistant Minister
Karissa Maitha, MP & Minister for Local Government: No stone was to be left unturned in the quest to discover who burnt down City Hall. We still await with bated breath
Najib Balala, MP & Minister, Sports, Gender & Cultural Affairs: Encouraging Kenyans to lynch one another
Goldenberg: I think I'm the only one in Kenya who did not receive money from this thing!
Robert Ouko: Shot himself, torched himself and drove himself to Got Alila in that order
John Serut, MP: Pouncer on female interns
Sospeter Ojaamong MP: Wife's face keeps accidentally hitting his fist.
Reuben Ndolo, MP: Encouraging Kenyans to torch others.
Musa Sirma, MP: Encouraging Kenyans to slash one another
Mwangi Kiunjuri, MP & Assistant Minister, Energy: Playing games of bedminton on Koinange Street
Chirau Mwakwere, MP & Minister, Labour: See above
... IRREGULARS ...

A heartfelt LETTER FROM GOMORRAH
A BEAUTY PAEGENT like no other!
THIS IS A DREAM!
SOCCER MANIA - clash of the titans
DO TELL ... Questions that beggar an answer!
Keep up to date. Visit the INFORMATION DESK
EULOGIES should be more along these line s ...
THE GIRLS PLAY BALL
INTELLIGENCE is not as common as you think!
Fun and games at a UNIVERSITY RIOT!
There are SOME DAYS ...
A KUMI KUMI Guide for the novices. A MUST read!
A POEM for someone special!
DEAREST JOHN: John Doe's better half replies with energy to issues raised by her worse half!
DEAREST JANE: A man addresses issues such as crossing rivers for his be loved ...
FAVOURITE MOVIES Some notable personalities share their favourite flicks
PRESS RELEASE FROM THE AFGHANISTANI BROADCASTING CORPORATION The proprietor of Afghanistan's first TV studio shares his visions

... FINALLY ...

OXYGEN FOR LIFE!!
ARSENAL BABY!
GUNNERS FOR LIFE!

DISCLAIMER
I humbly profess: The finest produce of Mother Kenya
... THINKER'S ...

SWEET OLD ME!

Our police force is run by a soldier, our security apparatus is run by a pharmacist, our health is run by someone with fleeting contact with a university, our energy is run by a lawyer and our local government authorities by someone with fleeting contcat with education as a whole.

Only in Kenya!

Make sure you check out CABINET TALES

... AOB ...

For the absolute last time STOP writing to me whining and accusing me of being a snob. I've responded to every last mail sent my way. Unless of course you were writing about university diplomas or enarling nether regions

... STUPIDITY ..

The other day the Assistant Minister of the Ministry of Justice and Constitutional Affairs, one Robinson 'Crusoe' Githae addressed the issue of Kenyans dying in the Ukambani region from food poisoning brought about by some bad maize.

The schmuck told the public that the maize was killing Kenyans because it was KANU maize! I was unsure of whether to burst my gut laughing or soil my shirt crying and decided to do both. You, sir are a first class GOOF!

How such cretins become our leaders is a saddening to the extreme!

... COPS ...

 

R is one of my best friends. Our friendship has weathered trying times such as running after the same skirt at the same time. I'm convicned I'd take a bullet for this dude. But when R gets into contact with some stuff called Gilbey's Dry Gin and ingests the same, an altogehter different beast comes to light.

Under the influence, R believes he is invincible. Oddly enough he pretty much is already, what with the black belt and the 80 plus kilos, but the gin makes him try to prove this at every opportunity. This he does eagerly at the slightest provocation.

And the other night Neo came to the fore within the hallowed walls of Tacos, dead in the City Center as we were en route to Nairobi West, and after the entire quartet of bouncers had been sent rolling to the corner he turned his attention to two gentlemen who had just strolled in.

It was only after we were comfortably seated in the back of those white NCBDA Land Rovers that I was finally able to get through to him that the last people to mess with are Flying Squad officers who are off duty.

... GANGSTA NATION ...

A bunch of ten or so people in Kenya have between them stashed some 240 billion bob in foreign banks. 240 billion, for people like Dot, is a hell of a lot of groundnuts and soda.
There is 60 billion circulating in the Kenyan Market
That amount of money is enough to keep us from paying tax for an entire year
The money can fix all the roads in Kenya, build some new ones and have change left over

... ADVERTISING RELOADED ..

This thing for all things herbal is clearly a fad that will not go away. Now we have:

  • Colgate Herbal (Toothpaste)
  • Aquafresh Herbal (Toothpaste)
  • Dettol Herbal (Medicated Soap)
  • Herbal Records (Music production house)
  • TCB Herbal (Beauty products)

Not to be left on the bandwagon it is only a matter of time before we have:

  • Herbal Water
  • Herbal News Network (HNN)
  • Herbal Computers
  • Herbal Herbs
  • Herbal (2 Ply)
  • Herbal, Herbal Reloaded and Herbal Revolutions
  • Big Brother (Herbel Edition)
  • Herbal Pop Stars
... HEADLINES ...

As Local Government Minister Karisa Maitha feeds his assistant Betty Tett some cake, he wonders if her hairdo was a result of being within the precincts of City Hall during that fatal fire

Finance Minister David Mwiraria watches in complete and utter amazement when upon requesting to use the gentleman's room in the Office of the President, he is presented with a log book and asked for a fingerprint, a copy of his ID, and a sworn affidavit from the police, a registered and practicing lawyer and his local pastor. He's also asked to pay a fee of 500 bob.

Security Minister Chris 'Goliath' Murungaru faces off with Catholic Archbishop Raphael 'David' Ndingi Mwana'a Nzeki. Here Ndingi warns Murungaru he knows Karate and some other dangerous words

... THIS PART TO DRIVE THE CIA NUTS ...

Bush. Bushel. FBI. Osama. Osamo. Bomb. Al Qaeda. Al Coholic. Saddam Hussein. Chemical Ali. Bowling Ali. Dimly Lit Ali. Dead End Ali.

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... SYNDICATION ...

Syndication

Good RSS readers: RSSBandit and, RSSConnect and RSS Reader. Also Rocketinfo (online)
I have NO PROBLEM with you syndicating. Learn Java, PHP, .NET or XSL to find out how to do it!

... GOINGS ON ...
Death from food poisoning of Kenyans attributed to maize from KANU buy intelligent assistant minister
Euro 2004 kicks off with gusto and zest!
Pistons make short work of the star studded Lakers
Scandal after scandal - NARC is turning out to be just as bollocks as the people they replaced!
... CIVIC DUTY ...

Some more fine produce of the MotherLand
The Kenyan Pundit
Jozie's
Mental Acrobatics
Unganisha
Two4Dice
Mashada
The Confused Kikuyu
Aturi
Am too lethargic to go looking for some more so if you know of any mail me

... REGULARS ...
Yon Archives
Past gems of my priceless wit
Le Journale
Entries from a rather unorthodox journal, updated at whim
AGUMBARU
These people need to be pistol whipped and flushed down the toilet at first opportunity!
Assorted Links
Take a look at some assorted links. I will collect more and organize them when I feel inclined to but until then -- enjoy!
VENT!
Some stuff really ticks me off. I mean REALLY ticks me off ...
 
Click HERE for complaints
 Frequently Asked Questions:
What you ought to know ...