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Jacues Chiraq does not look his 71 years. Quite unlike George Bush and Tony Blair who look like their best friend was Methuselah |
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| ... MINE CALENDAR ... |
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| ... UNRESOLVED ISSUES ... |
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 Superintendent Odol, fired because of doing his job and preventing grabbing of land by an Assistant Minister Karissa Maitha, MP & Minister for Local Government: No stone was to be left unturned in the quest to discover who burnt down City Hall. We still await with bated breath Najib Balala, MP & Minister, Sports, Gender & Cultural Affairs: Encouraging Kenyans to lynch one another Goldenberg: I think I'm the only one in Kenya who did not receive money from this thing! Robert Ouko: Shot himself, torched himself and drove himself to Got Alila in that order John Serut, MP: Pouncer on female interns Sospeter Ojaamong MP: Wife's face keeps accidentally hitting his fist. Reuben Ndolo, MP: Encouraging Kenyans to torch others. Musa Sirma, MP: Encouraging Kenyans to slash one another Mwangi Kiunjuri, MP & Assistant Minister, Energy: Playing games of bedminton on Koinange Street Chirau Mwakwere, MP & Minister, Labour: See above |
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| ... FINALLY ... |
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DISCLAIMER |
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I humbly profess: The finest produce
of Mother Kenya |
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| ... THINKER'S ... | ||
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Our police force is run by a soldier, our security apparatus is run by a pharmacist, our health is run by someone with fleeting contact with a university, our energy is run by a lawyer and our local government authorities by someone with fleeting contcat with education as a whole. Only in Kenya! Make sure you check out CABINET TALES |
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For the absolute last time STOP writing to me whining and accusing me of being a snob. I've responded to every last mail sent my way. Unless of course you were writing about university diplomas or enarling nether regions |
The other day the Assistant Minister of the Ministry of Justice and Constitutional Affairs, one Robinson 'Crusoe' Githae addressed the issue of Kenyans dying in the Ukambani region from food poisoning brought about by some bad maize. The schmuck told the public that the maize was killing Kenyans because it was KANU maize! I was unsure of whether to burst my gut laughing or soil my shirt crying and decided to do both. You, sir are a first class GOOF! How such cretins become our leaders is a saddening to the extreme! |
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R is one of my best friends. Our friendship has weathered trying times such as running after the same skirt at the same time. I'm convicned I'd take a bullet for this dude. But when R gets into contact with some stuff called Gilbey's Dry Gin and ingests the same, an altogehter different beast comes to light. Under the influence, R believes he is invincible. Oddly enough he pretty much is already, what with the black belt and the 80 plus kilos, but the gin makes him try to prove this at every opportunity. This he does eagerly at the slightest provocation. |
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And the other night Neo came to the fore within the hallowed walls of Tacos, dead in the City Center as we were en route to Nairobi West, and after the entire quartet of bouncers had been sent rolling to the corner he turned his attention to two gentlemen who had just strolled in. It was only after we were comfortably seated in the back of those white NCBDA Land Rovers that I was finally able to get through to him that the last people to mess with are Flying Squad officers who are off duty. |
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A bunch of ten or so people in Kenya have between them stashed some 240 billion bob in foreign banks. 240 billion, for people like Dot, is a hell of a lot of groundnuts and soda. |
This thing for all things herbal is clearly a fad that will not go away. Now we have:
Not to be left on the bandwagon it is only a matter of time before we have:
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As Local Government Minister Karisa Maitha feeds his assistant Betty Tett some cake, he wonders if her hairdo was a result of being within the precincts of City Hall during that fatal fire |
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Finance Minister David Mwiraria watches in complete and utter amazement when upon requesting to use the gentleman's room in the Office of the President, he is presented with a log book and asked for a fingerprint, a copy of his ID, and a sworn affidavit from the police, a registered and practicing lawyer and his local pastor. He's also asked to pay a fee of 500 bob. |
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Security Minister Chris 'Goliath' Murungaru faces off with Catholic Archbishop Raphael 'David' Ndingi Mwana'a Nzeki. Here Ndingi warns Murungaru he knows Karate and some other dangerous words |
... THIS PART TO DRIVE THE CIA NUTS ... |
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Bush. Bushel. FBI. Osama. Osamo. Bomb. Al Qaeda. Al Coholic. Saddam Hussein. Chemical Ali. Bowling Ali. Dimly Lit Ali. Dead End Ali. |
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| ... SYNDICATION ... |
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Good RSS readers: RSSBandit and, RSSConnect and RSS Reader. Also Rocketinfo (online) |
| ... GOINGS ON ... |
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| Death from food poisoning of Kenyans attributed to maize from KANU buy intelligent assistant minister Euro 2004 kicks off with gusto and zest! Pistons make short work of the star studded Lakers Scandal after scandal - NARC is turning out to be just as bollocks as the people they replaced! |
| ... CIVIC DUTY ... |
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Some more fine produce of the MotherLand |
| ... REGULARS ... |
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| Past gems of my priceless wit |
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| Entries from a rather unorthodox journal, updated at whim |
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| These people need to be pistol whipped and flushed down the toilet at first opportunity! |
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| Take a look at some assorted links. I will collect more and organize them when I feel inclined to but until then -- enjoy! |
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| Some stuff really ticks me off. I mean REALLY ticks me off ... |
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Click HERE for complaints Frequently
Asked Questions: What you ought to know ... |