17 May: Angie's Birthday
22 May: Microsoft DevForum
24 May: The game of games! Action at the Carnivore!

Mase has seen the light yet again and is back to the hip hop industry.

Visit the past archives of my assorted ramblings
Issue 74: Thursday May 6 2004 Women's Lib to truly ridiculous lengths and some local wannabes!
A redesign is in the works

A heartfelt LETTER FROM GOMORRAH
A BEAUTY PAEGENT like no other!
THIS IS A DREAM!
SOCCER MANIA - clash of the titans
DO TELL ... Questions that beggar an answer!
Keep up to date. Visit the INFORMATION DESK
EULOGIES should be more along these line s ...
THE GIRLS PLAY BALL
INTELLIGENCE is not as common as you think!
Fun and games at a UNIVERSITY RIOT!
There are SOME DAYS ...
A KUMI KUMI Guide for the novices. A MUST read!
A POEM for someone special!
DEAREST JOHN: John Doe's better half replies with energy to issues raised by her worse half!
DEAREST JANE: A man addresses issues such as crossing rivers for his be loved ...
FAVOURITE MOVIES Some notable personalities share their favourite flicks
PRESS RELEASE FROM THE AFGHANISTANI BROADCASTING CORPORATION The proprietor of Afghanistan's first TV studio shares his visions

ARSENAL BABY!
GUNNERS FOR LIFE!

Our head of state, one Mwai Emilio Kibaki, never ceases to amaze. The man is a natural comic. Just the other day, last Friday to be precise, the man called his driver a "mpumpavu" on television. For those rusty on Kiswahili, mpumpavu is an idiot. And in case anyone missed it the first time he repeated it!

I cannot possibly be the only one fed up with the increasing amounts of the warm brown stuff that comes from one end of a bull that masquerades as advertising.Even intellectually challenged people like MotherEarth cannot be fooled for long from the nonsense that is forced down the tube.

The new Omo has "Active Molecules" that search, identify and destroy dirt and stains. Just when soap became so intelligent as to identify what was dirt, what was a stain and what was not is unclear. How, for instance, would the stuff deal with Army Fatigues?

Not to be left behind is Persil with "PowerPearls", which seems to be a brother to Omo. This stuff does all the above as well as taking care of hidden stains. Which beggars the question of what on EARTH is a HIDDEN STAIN? If it's hidden, how then does it qualify as a stain? Unless of course today's stains are becoming humble!

Not too far away are the toothpaste boys. Colgate and Aquafresh are simultaneously selling Herbal toothpaste. What on GOD'S GREEN EARTH is herbal toothpaste? It contains camomile, eucalyptus and sage, and i'd not be surprised after a while if they threw in some parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme. This amazing stuff (by virtue of the herbs) is supposed to make our teeth strong and white. This is achieved through some miracle since most of us spit out the stuff after we're done with the brushing. In fact, if you believe the Colgate ad, you'll be able to bring down trees like a beaver.

Not to be left behind is some throat lozenge type thing called Vicks Kingo. Well, if you have a flu that is making you cough up your lungs and bits of your small intestine and your nose seems cemented shut, this is the stuff for you. Before the ad was over the dude complaining of the aforesaid symptoms was in excellent health and spirits after a few seconds of sucking the lozenge.

My personal favourite is some stuff called Whitedent. Whitedent appears to be a toothpaste made for Martians because the actors in the ad can only have been from Mars. They don't look or sound like any humans i've ever seen. The cast is a small boy who apparently has been brushing his teeth for hours, watched by his fascinated bigger brother. Their mother, who looks like she's just successfully applied for an ID card, enters and wonders (of course with enormous white and gleaming teeth) why Tony (the small boy) was still brushing. Tony reveals that the toothpaste tastes so good, and the bigger brother, a candidate for the Nobel prize for Physics, advises his sibling that for complete satisfaction, he should continue brushing. At this point a voice over from a doctor sounding like a gentleman who has had a baseball bat shoved sideways into a very narrow aperture informs us that the wonders of Whitedent are due to the LLP3 formula. No attempt is made to tell us what the LLP3 formula is. However, the toothpaste has a red, white and blue stripe that freshen breath, clean teeth, whiten them, fight crime, balance the budget and solve world hunger.

CMB Prezzo has some fans out there, and they are most welcome to him. These fans objected to my - er - dim opinion of their Idol and informed me as such. Which is cool. One man's jackass is another man's Einstein. I recently got hold of Prezzo's debut CD, called Naleta Action.

Now, G-Unit have that catch line that goes "G - G - G - G - G - G - G-UNIT!" Imagine my amazement when blaring unmelodiously from my speakers I heard "C - C -C - C -C - C - CMB!" shamelessly lifted from the former. HA HA!!!!

The saving grace of the album is a Homeboyz production done with Tanzanian crooner T.I.D called "Leo ni Leo" despite some laughable lyrics about bling bling making someone reflect like a mirror.

No offence dude but you need to get original!

Bush. CIA. Osama. Bomb. Al Qaeda. Saddam Hussein. Chemical Ali. Bowling Ali. Dimly Lit Ali. Dead End Ali.

Some more fine produce of the MotherLand
The Kenyan Pundit
Jozie's
Mental Acrobatics
Unganisha
Two4Dice
Mashada
The Confused Kikuyu
Aturi

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