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 Superintendent Odol, fired because of doing his job and preventing grabbing of land by an Assistant Minister Karissa Maitha, MP & Minister for Tourism : No stone was to be left unturned in the quest to discover who burnt down City Hall. We still await with bated breath Najib Balala, MP & Minister, Cultural Heritage : Encouraging Kenyans to lynch one another Goldenberg: I think I'm the only one in Kenya who did not receive money from this thing! Robert Ouko: Shot himself, torched himself and drove himself to Got Alila in that order John Serut, MP: Pouncer on female interns Sospeter Ojaamong MP: Wife's face keeps accidentally hitting his fist. Reuben Ndolo, MP: Encouraging Kenyans to torch others. Musa Sirma, MP: Encouraging Kenyans to slash one another Mwangi Kiunjuri, MP & Assistant Minister, Energy: Playing games of bedminton on Koinange Street Chirau Mwakwere, MP & Minister, Foreign Affairs: See above Maina Kamada, MP & Assistant Minister: Opening his mouth and talking! |
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DISCLAIMER |
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I humbly profess: The finest produce
of Mother Kenya |
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| ... THINKER'S ... | ||
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I did me a world of good to get Cabinet Tales in an email forward from an individual blissfully unaware what role I had to play in the birth of that little bit of expression. Part II is not too far off :) And yes, i've been missing in action like a certain soldier but hey - for justifications [Click Here] |
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First of all, Edward Clay is a man whose hand i'd love to shake. That speech he gave was a fine piece of work. Could not have put it better if I tried! Like I keep telling Kenyans, the truth is the truth. Whether it comes from a black ass or a white one or any colour between! There's nothing racist or busybody or colonial in what he said!!! But was i the only one wincing when our new Foreign Affairs Minister, Ali "Goofy" Mwakwere tried to respond? Clearly little things like metaphors were items this gentleman has had but passing contact with. Split my side laughing at the dude passionately denying ever having vomited on anyone |
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It will be a cold day in December, with Hell Frozen over and pigs in Executive Business Class before I accept a dinner invitation from one Assistant Minister of the Ministry of Justice and Constitutional Affairs Robinson Githae. He is a very strange man because he seems to have at least | ||
10 feet. Why is this? Because that is the only possible explanation why he always appears in public walking firmly on two feet, yet he keeps putting both feet in his mouth. Just the other day this pillar of intellectual maturity told an amazed public that there was famine because they had peculiar eating habits. I for one was taken aback to be told i am starving because I refuse to partake of delicacies such as tenderly moisturized prime camel buttock. Because i don't appreciate the hind leg of a young donkey, lovingly marinated in barbecued sauce with a coating of honey. Because i would not be in the same hectare as a sprinkling of fresh rat, broiled over an open charcoal fire and a nice salad. The statement "a fine piece of ass" now has a totally new meaning! This dude's folks clearly named him after Robinson Crusoe, and now we know why! |
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Well, from the events of the past couple of weeks, one begins to grasp the strategy of good old Prezzo. His strategy seems to center around having a cabinet of 60 ministers and 180 Assistant Ministers. Then there will be 1 speaker and 9 back benchers. |
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Prezzo however is doing this incrementally so that the public does not notice. My mole at State House, Slow Moe gave me a sneak preview of the posts for grabs in the next cabinet reshuffle, in addition to the current ones
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Vice President Moody Awori endeavors to invite his boss President Mwai Kibaki for a night on the town, commencing with Rock Night at the Carnivore. The look First Lady Lucy Kibaki gives the President leaves him in no doubt that he will spend the night on a sofa for just thinking about it |
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President Mwai Kibaki looks at Secretary of State Colin Powell with some amazement and smiles uncomfortably to himself as he struggles to remember: Am I the President of the United States or has my Foreign Affairs Minister Ali Mwakwere doubled his height overnight? |
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Justice Minister Kiraitu Murungi tries to ignore the shouting multitudes around him and waits anxiously for the ice cream man to make an appearance so he can indulge himself in some goodies |
... THIS PART TO DRIVE THE CIA NUTS ... |
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Bush. Bushel. FBI. Osama. Osamo. Bomb. Al Qaeda. Al Coholic. Saddam Hussein. Chemical Ali. Bowling Ali. Dimly Lit Ali. Dead End Ali. |
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| ... MINE CALENDAR ... |
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| ... HMMM ... |
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I AM A LESBIAN TRAPPED IN A MAN'S BODY |
| ... RANDOM QUESTION ... |
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3 Kenyan truck drivers have been captured in Iraq. This beggars the question of what the HELL are people still doing there knowing full well they're not wanted? |
| ... GOINGS ON ... |
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| Still Reeling from the Cabinet Reshuffle Half baked show from a half baked dude. With a name like Wayne Wonder it's a wonder people were fooled! Famine rears it ugly head, and our bollocks government, as usual, is ill prepared! People like Maina Kamanda, Mwangi Kiunjuri and Njeru Ndwiga continue to prove that ignorance and the IQ of a plate of cold porridge don't disqualify one from the Cabinet |
| ... CIVIC DUTY ... |
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Some more fine produce of the MotherLand |
| ... REGULARS ... |
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| Past gems of my priceless wit |
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| Entries from a rather unorthodox journal, updated at whim |
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| These people need to be pistol whipped and flushed down the toilet at first opportunity! |
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| Take a look at some assorted links. I will collect more and organize them when I feel inclined to but until then -- enjoy! |
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| Some stuff really ticks me off. I mean REALLY ticks me off ... |
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Click HERE for complaints Frequently
Asked Questions: What you ought to know ... |