Plot:
Somebody is driving down the road. I had an extremely hard time following this movie. It was worse than Robo
Vampire. In Death Kick, I gave a warning if the box had a different name than the movie... Beware...
What does this title foretell? Deep hurting...
Guy gets in a car. A girl radios another guy. A convoy, or prison bus, is ambushed. Shooting starts. A man escapes. The ambushers get away...
Olive T-shirt guy is running. The other guy that escaped is trying to break the leg irons. So, it was a jailbreak...
Fight. 2 guys are fighting. The most highpitched girl voice I've ever heard in life is encouraging them to fight. A couple more decibels higher and my dog would
start howling. Denim jacket guy unloads on the t-shirt wearing guy, Cobra. Cobra turns the tables and wins. He's taking all challengers. High pitched voice is chanting
"Cobra." I realize the voice sounds like Miss Piggy chanting "Cobra."
Hugh shows up to fight Cobra. Unlike in every movie this Hugh is a badass. Pretty evenly matched. Cobra tries to choke Hugh with a chain. Hugh breaks the chain
in half and unloads his fury upon Cobra. Hugh is given some papers. Hugh mentions taking uranium from the Thai government as a tithe. I think this is supposed to be
the same Hugh from the first movie who is a dumpy looking guy.
A car pulls up to a house. Some guys are drinking. Message is given about Arabian guerillas that need uranium to make weapons. Ruby is sent to check on the
uranium supplies. Jerry the boss places Tom in charge of the operation. But, Tom needs some extra men. These were the names given by the characters. Have no idea
of how many movies they spliced together to make this mess.
Our next shot is at a karate school. To be correct a tae kwon do school. Somebody is mopping the floor with everyone. Will this be important to our movie? I don't
know. If this movie were at any point coherent I could skip some details, but I'm afraid to miss something important. Well watching it was confusing, so should this review,
too be confusing...
Billy is practicing with a crossbow gun. He gets a bull’s eye. Billy is told by his dad to investigate Reverend Cheever's church that is run by Hugh... We learned that
the Cheever church had a plan to create a vaguely communist Southeast Asian country from various countries.
Evilish guy has heard about Jerry's plans to recruit men. Bob is to go undercover in Jerry's gang. Bob wants to know about being paid. Evilish guy will arrange to
have Bob recruited...
A truck is driving down the road. A guy in the back gets out of it. 2 guys are still sawing on the leg irons: Andy and Jorge. A group of guys, I dub the Elm Street
Crew, surround them. Andy owes them money, goes chop socky on them. Elm Street Crew captured Andy and Jorge. Large Belly man, I'm positive he was named White
Powder Ma, wants to talk with Andy. Apparently, Andy is to work with Jerry.
In a city, Sandra has a nuclear bomb that will destroy the world. But, the good guys, I think, have contacted her. She will turn on her buyers. Will will follow
them and find out who they're working for. Esteban is warned about Hugh.
At some outdoor cafe, Sandra has a case with her asks for directions. 4 guys try to pick her up. Will picks a fight with them. They fight. Sandra joins in and does pretty
well, too.
In the jungle, 2 guys, Jeremy and Ron, are being chased by some other guy, Milt. They manage to ambush Milt. Beat the fire out of him. Question him. Ron puts worms near Milt who is revolted. Ron starts eating them. Milt is getting sick and starts talking. He was supposed to tail them to locate their hideout. They ask about Milt's partner. Break his neck...
Worms are so juicyyyyyy...
Some sort of Thai medicine show. The pitcher, Sean, and his 2 assistants are discussing ways to improve business. An angry mob is marching towards them. They want to
talk to Sean. This group wants Sean to workfor Jerry. Fight ensues... It looks like a sad attempt at a Jackie Chan fight. I lost track of who is which side.
What I want to know is where Catman is? I got this movie expecting to see a guy with cat powers fighting. Laser vision and super cat strength. I thought
Attack From Space when Starman disappeared for the better part of a half hour was bad. Note: At the 25 minute mark, I haven't
seen a single image from the box in the movie yet...
Sean and his posse are caught.
A van is driving down the road. 3 guys in the road are forced out of the road by the van. The van boys want a road walker to work for Jerry. He refuses to do it. The fight
starts. One guy uses a weed eater as a weapon. Some woman stops the fight. I think its Sandra but don't hold me to it.
New people are fighting. I think Will is fighting this group. The old guy who owns the farm is injured. Sandra (I think helps) helps the old guy. The escaped prisoner, John,
leaves. This was the other escaped prisoner from the first of the movie.
In a bar, some goons want to find somebody who knows John. Jerry wants John to join his group. Smack some old guy around. Have absolutely no idea of how the fight
is going. It’s almost pitched black. John finds his beaten father. The old man promptly disowns him... Somehow, they didn't use the Genesis song "You're No son of Mine."
We are treated to a jungle. Machine gun guys find John....Once again, Jerry is said to have a job for John. I think if you continually keep saying how important something
is going eventually others will believe you. This is not a good movie...
In a large city, 2 white guys are following some woman. The tall blonde goofy guy is Sam. Could this be the Sam that is Catman? Sam and the other guy, Max, want the
starter Sandra has. The only problem is this isn't the same actress from earlier playing Sandra unless woman can spontaneously switch ethnic backgrounds. This woman looks
Caucasian to me not Oriental. She has to go on the meet. She gives her contact the starter, which looks a lot like a spark plug to me. He in return gives an ice pick to her
stomach. At least, she has escaped this movie. Sam and Max find her dead and chase the killer who escapes. When they go back to Sandra's body, it has disappeared.
Back in the jungle, a group of guys are running. From what? Bigfoot. The rednecks from Deliverance, We just don't know. Jeep is driving down the road. A fallen
log across the road stops the jeep. Shots ring out. Guys get shot. John is captured. Gunfight continues. Some people escape. Group keeps looking for John. Can anyone figure
out who has John is it Jerry's men or the men who want to infiltrate Jerry's team? Better yet who is Jerry?
Men find some others. Fight ensues. Want to know where John is. It turns John has left earlier that day.
Jerry's four extra men are now. Andy, Bob, Sean, John. Granted some of these are working for the opposition.
Around the city, Max is chewed out on the carper from a higher up. They must retrieve the starter. Sniper gets the higher-up. A group of guys try to shoot
Max. Gunfight. Man in black kung fues them. Max manages to wing the sniper. The sniper escapes as Max follows the trail.
Cat-Man is fighting. Beats the guys and laughs triumphantly. Not worried about the escaping guy.
I know the picture isn't good. But, you can distinctly see the stylized cat logo a 4 year old could out-do.
Sandra, the one true Sandra, has a rifle is approaching a camp with a lot of guys. They are eying her like a piece of meat. She starts beating them all as Will watches. Get some
strange dubbing of Sandra sounding like she is being hurt even when she was seriously unloading some kung fu on the men. A stranger helps her out.
This isn't Sandra. This is Sophia, niece of Jerry. No, this is the same girl that earlier was Sandra until she was replaced with a white girl. The stranger is John, who
doesn't want to be around when he learns that she is related to Jerry. He walks away. I'm less sure that this isn't John from earlier in the movie.
Old guy, John's father, wants to know where John is. Some girl who is a friend of John's has a letter for his dad and sister. John's dad realizes the letter is a
fake. Not his son's handwriting. Bad guys catch them...
Some girl, Sophia? is nursing some sick children, leaves the house. John wants to where his father is. Some guys catch John again. John is like the ultimate doorknob
everybody gets a turn catching him...Will use John's father and sister as leverage until the mission is over. John has so far been captured 3 times.
The next day, we are introduced to Jerry's strike force.
| Name | Specialty |
|---|
| John Jackson | Weapons and Explosives |
| Norman Gibb | Top Driver |
| Grant Powell? | Locksmith |
| Dennis Lee | Israeli Special Forces |
| Bob Archer | Professional Killer |
| Luke Wilson | Knife Expert |
| Alexander Firm | Country's Top Wrestler |
I have a hard time imagining an Asian guy in Israeli Special Forces. All of these guys have specialties that make some kind of mission and then there is a wrestler. The wrestler
guy was the large bald guy from
Catman in Lethal Track . Interesting team dynamics. Are there going to be enough people
the wrestler needs to snap suplex coming out of a turn-buckle? I am wondering about all of the other guys that were supposed to be on the team. Andy, Sean, and no telling how
many other guys were suppose to be on this team. I'm going to give the name: Team Possum.
John has some personal business to finish before the mission. All of Team Possum decide to beat the fire out of each other. They pair off to fight. Several 2 man fights
start. John wants to know about the mission. They will be told later. John finally learns that his father and sister are being held hostage. His dad tries to convince him not to
do what they want. Jerry's goons start the beating of the old man. How many times has he been beaten? Twice, I think. John asks Jerry to stop beating his father. I refuse to
make the easy joke that he's finding it exciting. John's dad and his sister will be released after the mission is over.
A boat ride at night, Possum Team is somewhere. They are under fire. It's so dark can't tell what is going on; it is nice way to get around the lack of a plot. Never
really figured out what mission Possum Team has to accomplish. Explosions.
Some chick is making out with a guy in a yellow shirt. The names aren't given. Hear the chick specifically mention they get along good enough not know each other's
name. Possum Team is around the corner. Have guns aimed at yellow shirt. Yellow shirt manages to disarm them. But, he can't disarm all of Possum Team. It looks like chick
is in on it. Whatever it is... Yellow shirt is to see Jerry.
It is still dark to escape the feeling that no one can follow what is happening. Ominous music is playing. A guy is sneaking somewhere. There is a fight. He frees
some guy. They have evidence implicating the Holy Cheever Church. You remember the Cheever Church? It was mentioned in the first 20 minutes of this movie and on the
box, too. Well, both of them escape.
In the jungle cabin, John's dad and sister are imprisoned. They are freed by some dude. A girl has a gun on dude. They fight while John's dad and sister escape from this
movie. I wish it was so easy for me...
Guy is being drug between Sam and Max. This must be the prisoner they caught hours ago. It seemslike it was hours ago. Some machine gun wielding white guys get the
drop on our intrepid heroes Sam and Max.
Night in another movie, Team Possum is fighting. They grab something and leave. More fighting. I don't know what is going on. Possum Team leaves
quickly. A fight breaks out near a train.
New scene. Some guys are drinking. A car stops. We go back to the drinking guys. Some guy is killed. This movie gives us more confusing violence. A fight inside while
another fight rages outside. Heavy weapons fire cuts through the night. Guys are planning there next move.
A man is hanged by the neck. Why? Does it matter at this point? I'm for this thing to end for any reason.
Moving tanks of gas to trucks that are approaching. One of the tanks is hit. Big explosions draw the police who had to be 50 feet away. Gunfight. Still too dark to decipher
the pseudo-action. Some girl is shot. The military storm the house that Possum Team is holed up inside. Guys are running around while things explode. Multiple explosions
rock the area.
It is now during the day. Sam and Max are chained to trees. They are discussing dinners they've enjoyed. Group of bad guys have them surrounded. Fearless leader is in
cammo about to shoot them. He loads the grenade launcher. Max is worried. Bad guys are slowly backing up. Sam is getting ready. He provokes the leader into shooting him
first.
Smoke from the explosion. Fearless leader is chuckling until he sees the tree and the chains without Sam's body. While the bad guys begin to separate to look for Sam, Cat-Man frees Max, who is promptly filled with bullets. Cat-Man has magic bullet stopping bracelets. I think he bought them from Wonder Woman when she had a garage sale.
I'm CAT-MAN!!!
The bad guys inspect the dead body of Max. They leave and Max ambushes the last one.
Cat-Man is fighting some of the bad guys. Fearless leader shoots at Cat-Man who uses the magic bullet deflecting trick until he sees the grenade launcher loaded. Then
Cat-Man high tails it out of there. He high tails it because cats have tails. It's funny...It's funny...
Cat-Man is trapped behind a tree wile fearless leader closes in on him. Max manages to nail one of the other bad guys. Cat-Man uses his sunglasses grenade, which has to be a patent pending, to get fearless leader. Cat-Man manages to blow up fearless leader. That has more than a passing resemblance to a mannequin.
Max finds Cat-Man. Max congratulates Cat-Man. They walk off. It sounds like they did something important, which of course, they didn't do a thing.
