Plot:
As the credits roll, a plane is about to land. We get the New York City stock footage of Statue of the Liberty, more New York stock footage. Jackie is found by
Uncle Bill. I’m not going to call Jackie by his name of Keung, it is Jackie Chan…They drive into the city and head to the Bronx.
Uncle Bill is about to get married. Jackie has yet to meet his soon-to-be aunt. Before heading to the market, we learn that Jackie’s dad was martial arts master
and, Jackie competes in tournaments like dad did. Danny, the wheelchair bound neighbor kid is awed by Jackie’s skill. They take Danny to the school bus. Jackie
gives him a portable video game system.
Uncle Bill and Jackie head to the supermarket. The potential buyer is coming in today. Jackie sees an Oriental lady, thinking this is his aunt to be. Not her. A
black lady rushes up and kisses Jackie…Jackie looks a little confused by this.
Gimme Sugars...
Elena (Anita Mui) is being shown the marketing the back office, she and Bill reach a price for the market. Through the one-way mirror, she sees Jackie flexing
his muscles and picking his nose. Bill introduces Jackie to Elena. She thinks Jackie is off his rocker. Bill’s friend brings a limo for Bill’s wedding, the next day.
That night, dirt bikes and go carts drive down the street. Through the window, Jackie spots 2 multiracial gangs preparing to race. He watches from the fire
escape. Nance and Skankalotta race down the street then coming back riding atop the parked cars along the street, damaging them. Jackie sees the limo about to run
over. He leaps into action. The gang is sheering. Jackie keeps Nancy from damaging the limo. Skankalotta wins the race and the cash. Well, Nancy is the opposite of
happy and kind of pissed. The cops arrive and, the gangs drive off. Jackie can’t get up the fire escape.
Wedding, Bill and his wife are dancing. Elena watches. Jackie tries to make a better impression to her, offers to help at the market.
Jackie is working out later, when K-PLOT radio announces a major diamond robbery. A knock on the door announces the leaving of Bill and his wife leave on
their honeymoon and from this movie.
The gang head into the market. Elena and Jackie are talking in the office when she sees Angelo, gang guy, shoplifting. Elena will take care of it. When she tells
Angelo to pay for the merchandise he ate, he throws a fit. Tossing merchandise around, Jackie comes to the rescue. The gang with knives surrounds Jackie. Elena
doesn’t want any trouble. But, Jackie quickly disarms the gang. Sweet fight ensues…The gang retreats. Elena is in shock that Jackie Kung fued them mightily.
That night, the market closes up. Jackie heads home. He spots a woman carried into an alley by the gang. He rushes to her rescue, scaring the gang off and, he
is rewarded with a kick right “squa in the nuts” quote the Cartman. The girl is Nancy. Bat wielding gang members strike. Fight ensues. Jackie is chased down a
dead end alley.
The gang wraps bats with towels and hit bottles in the alley at Jackie. He manages to dodge the first few bottles but, the glass shards start peppering him. Angelo
is about to shoot Jackie for breaking his nose. He smacks a gang chick. She leaves followed by the rest of the women. The guys leave to get the women. Angelo is
left by himself and rushes to catch up with anyone leaving Jackie in the alley.
The next day, Danny is playing with the video game Jackie gave him. He tells her about Jackie. But, she doesn’t know that is the guy who has interfered in the
gang’s fun. They have a sibling argument. Danny hates being left alone all the time. She takes out the trash and sees the bloody Jackie. Danny rushes out and
realizes telling her that is Jackie.
Jackie awakens in his apartment. Danny tells him that Nancy has patched him up. Danny lies about what Nancy does. Jackie heads to the market. On the
street, the gang spots him and gives pursuit.
In a parking garage, bikes are after Jackie. He climbs to the roof of the garage. The gang can’t find Jackie hiding in a truck of balls. The gang realizes where he
is and pushes the truck off the edge of the roof, crashing on the street below. Jackie is surrounded by the gang. But jumps across the street to a neighboring building.
Remember the diamonds being fenced? Nancy is heading home. The gang doesn’t see Jackie and Danny. Car crash ensues. Angelo and other guy take the
diamonds. The Mafia opens fire but Angelo and other guy escape. Angelo hides the diamonds, running from the Mafia. Jackie grabs Danny and carries him to the
apartment when he heard gunfire, leaving the wheelchair. Angelo hides the diamonds in the cushion of Danny’s wheelchair. Mafia guy finds Angelo. Jackie takes the
wheelchair into the apartment. The cops haul the Mafia guys and Angelo to the station.
Nancy hears Danny and Jackie and hides in her room. Danny finds the new cushion Nancy got for him. Plot point… The new cushion is put on the
wheelchair. Danny talks about how he wishes he could help Nancy more. She comes out crying. Jackie doesn’t tell Danny about his sister’s gang involvement. They
decide to go for a walk and the diamond stuffed pillow winds up under the sofa.
At the police station, Angelo and the Mafia guys are being questioned. The Mafia’s lawyers have them released. The cops let Angelo go, hoping to follow him.
That night, Angelo tries sneaking into the apartment building. The Mafia guys are back searching. They tell Jackie they’re the FBI. Call them if he learns anything
about the diamonds. Jackie heads out.
At a club, a bikini clad Nancy is winging in a cage patrolled by a tiger in another cage to a hair metal band and a few DJs. Jackie sees Nancy shaking her tail
feathers. Jackie like… Gang is waiting at the club, too.
Jackie and Nancy are talking. Gang guy spots Jackie. Jackie and Nancy escape chased by the gang and escape into the night. Jackie tells Nancy she should
spend more time with Danny and experience Jackie’s egg roll. OK, the last part I made up…She can’t resist Jackie’s suaveness.
Next day, the gang rides into the market and trashes the place. The demand Elena tell them were Jackie is. Mafia guys grab a couple of gang guys and drive
away. The gang leaves.
In the park, Jackie, Nancy, and Danny are having a day of it. Angelo follows them. At the first chance he steals Danny’s cushion. Everyone in the park chases
after him. Angelo throws the pillow away when he realizes it’s the wrong pillow.
Mafia beating the gang guys they grabbed. The scene ends with one of them dropped into an industrial wood chipper.
Back at the totally trashed market, Jackie sees it and finds Elena. She blames him for not being there because he’s on a date with the gang leader’s
girlfriend. Jackie has Nancy take him to the gang headquarters.
Gang headquarters is a warehouse with a large group of the gang dancing in the bad 80s New Wave style in the mid 90s. The mind reels from such a
concept. Well, Jackie introduces himself to everyone…
The fight is on. Tony is going to shoot Jackie until he taunts him about needing a gun to take care of business. Tony versus Jackie, final round…Battle
on!!! Eventually, the gang interferes. Refrigerator fu ensues…Shopping cart-jitsu. Random violence against pinball games…Tony lets Jackie go. Jackie moralizes
how the gang is scum and mentions he’d rather be friends. Not, sure why he said that unless, he does have some respect for Tony.
As Jackie and Nancy are about to leave, one of the kidnapped gang guys returns with a garbage bag of wood chipped Lance. He delivers the message return the
diamonds or, they’ll wood chip the entire gang. Tony has the gang search for Angelo. Jackie knows who to call in the FBI. No good can come of this…
The FBI shows. Tony is talking with Angelo. Angelo knows these guys aren’t the FBI but the Mafia. Well, Jackie, Nancy, Tony, and Angelo are now
caught. Angelo reveals the diamonds are in Danny’s cushion. Going to shoot Nancy, Jackie swears he knows where the diamonds are and is sent with a couple of
Mafia guys to retrieve them.
At the apartment, the Mafia guys push down out of his wheelchair and smack him around. Danny tells where the diamonds are in his sister’s room. Jackie is in
the living room, spotting the old cushion under the sofa. Mafia guy smacks Danny around some more finding costume jewelry. Jackie has the cushion with the
diamonds in it. Jackie gets the drop on the Mafia guys. One of them isn’t bothered by Jackie smacking him. Danny tosses Jackie a football helmet, same
response. Then a huge “pockin’” wrench. Mafia guy surrenders before it’s used on him.
Jackie has the diamonds and tied the Mafia guys up. Mr. Big calls to order the hostages deaths. Jackie will have to return the diamonds for his friends. Back to
Tony and the rest, Tony reveals that Jackie owns the market.
The market has been restored to pristine condition. Jackie meets with Elena. She sees he has the diamonds and wants a couple for her trouble. Mr. Big calls
Jackie again. Elena heads to the can. Mafia has completely tied lines around all the supports to the market and to a tow truck. They pull the building apart. Jackie
tries warning Elena who ignores it. The Mafia guys drive away. Mr. Big calls again return diamonds in 1 hour for his friends. Jackie finally calls the cops.
The cops brief Jackie on Mr. Big who is called White Tiger. Jackie heads to the meet. He tries getting them talking about the robbery to get them to incriminate
themselves about the robbery. Jackie slips and mentions White Tiger. Mafia guy calls boss ordered to search Jackie to see if he’s wired or not. They take him to a
boathouse and find the wire. The orders are to get rid of Jackie and the hostages forget the diamonds.
Boat house fight ensues. Jackie escapes and is being chased by the Mafia when the cops arrive. A gunfight ensues and, the Mafia men escape. Jackie follows
them to get to his friends.
I should warn everyone the rest of this review contains gratuitous use of the word “HOVERCRAFT” for those easily offended.
Cops chase the Mafia who hijack a HOVERCRAFT. Jackie tries one of his Chan-tastic stunts to reach the HOVERCRAFT. He falls overboard with a rope
and starts water-skiing without skis…Cops can’t stop the HOVERCRAFT…
The mighty juggernaut known as HOVERCRAFT runs over several boats and comes ashore on a beach. Jackie is trying to save a kid from being run over but is
run over in the process. He’s fine though…Jackie gets back on the HOVERCRAFT…
The HOVERCRAFT is on the city streets. Various car crashes ensue. Jackie falls off the HOVERCRAFT. Nothing can seem to stop it. The HOVERCRAFT
runs over a DeLorean, almost though I’d see Michael J. Fox screaming how the Flux Capacitor was damaged.
A hair metal band’s concert is interrupted by HOVERCRAFT… That would make POISON seem a lot more interesting.
Jackie finds a giant sword with a serrated edge and steals the DeLorean. A game of Chicken is played between the DeLorean and the HOVERCRAFT. Jackie
uses the sword to cut open the air cushion of the HOVERCRAFT, which promptly crashes. Jackie captures the Mafia guys.
At the ritzy country club the cops learn where Mr. Big is and tell Jackie. Jackie is shown how to drive the HOVERCRAFT, which has duct tape over the slice in
the air cushion. Tony, Nancy, and Elena join him.
HOVERCRAFT heads for the country club. Gunshots are useless against the HOVERCRAFT. Jackie runs over Mr. Big leaving him bare-assed and eating
grass.
The credits are started with the Jackie Chan mishaps so kids don’t do them at home. When, he first got on the HOVERCRAFT, Jackie tore up his leg and had it
in a cast for the rest of the shoot.
