First, there are all the safety issues that she must (or should) take into consideration before the meeting. The young lady must make decisions regarding the level of safety she considers prudent. She must also "listen to her heart" to make sure that this experience is going to work. Finally, she has to sometimes follow through on these safety issues; depending on how complicated her standards are regarding safety (checking out sources, calling the person, etc.).

Second, there are the logistical issues. Often the 'young lady' who needs to application of juvenile correction has her own children and often a career of her own. She must select a time and place that will work. Many times she has to make other arrangements just so she can shift back to someone who will have nothing else to worry about - even if it is only for an hour – except the consequences of her misbehavior.

Finally, there is the event itself. We all know that many 'disciplinarians' are not convincing. There are many reasons for this. Unfortunately on top of the list is the fact that many men are interested in what men are most interested in (that is after sports) - sex. While this is fine if the two parties want a explicitly sexual element to it, from what many of my female friends tell me, many men stray from a strictly disciplinary spanking even when those are the limits agreed upon.

Too often men also are more into the physical part of the spanking than the emotional side of it. Most women are searching for an emotional experience - not just the physical aspect of a good spanking. The 'disciplinarian' might be perfect in applying the spanking but often misses the emotional connect - 'getting into someone's head' as a few of my 'young lady' friends say. If that connection is not made, if the body language isn't present, if those delicious spanking words and phrases are not used sufficiently (words like naughty, bad girl, underpants, transgressions, etc and phrases like "get your naughty bottom over here," "I'm going to blister you good")

Even when the safety issues work well, the logistics are set up and the emotional part clicks between the disciplinarian and the 'young lady,' tears still rarely (in my experiences) result from a first (or even second) experience. There is the nervousness, the expectations and the quick realization that there is no turning back. She finds herself over the lap and the disciplinarian's fingers hooking into the back of her panties to lower them. Her concern usually shifts fairly quickly from the embarrassing aspect of the discipline to the physical part. All the while, she might hear him scold her and tell her what she can now expect when she is naughty.

He makes others cry - why not me?
Typical brats talk about disciplinarians. Come on, we know that you do! Often someone gets to be known in the scene as a good disciplinarian who can get into the young lady's head. Yet when 'playing' with someone else, the same affect does not happen. It sometimes leads to frustration and disappointment.

We all have to realize that this is a very personal activity. Different things - physically and emotionally - affect us. What might produce tears one time may not work the following. Certainly what works for one person may not work for another. It would be unfair to think that because a disciplinarian can invader that special place with one person, he (or she) can get there with someone else. It is possible, but there are no guarantees.

It is best to take recommendations as just that - a signal that that person and one's friend clicked. It may help reduce the fears of meeting with a disciplinarian for a first time and allow one to 'get into' and enjoy the experience more. It is not a sure shot for those much wanted tears.

Giving up control
Not all brats really want to give up control, especially to the point of tears. To some it is an indication that they cannot 'take it like a big girl.' It is a point of shame with these ladies (or men). One friend of mine says that she thinks she cries when she comes to the realization there is nothing else she can do to stop the spanking. She has a high level of degree in her professional life (as many brats do) and controls things around the house. This is the one time in her life when she is not in control. Tears come hard to her.

Same wet stuff - different meanings
Finally, there is the other emotional baggage that comes with tears for some people. One 'young lady' says that crying makes her remember the parental spankings she received well into her teen years. She hated receiving corporal punishment then but somehow needs it now. When she cries, she experiences a flashback to a time where she does not want to be during an adult spanking.

Concluding Remarks
As evident by reading this essay, tears are a very personal issue. Lowering expectation and taking the spanking for what it is worth is probably the best way to enjoy the interest and having the highest possibility of getting to tears. Unlike many spanking stories, a good spanking does not always end with wet cheeks - just red ones.