 |
| 2000 Leeds& Liverpool Canal |
| 2000 Leeds Liverpool Canal Trip Pub guide
Craven Hotel, Skipton: meeting place, convenient for Tescos. Thwaites bitter in good nick, shame about the dreadful cup final on the big screen. Masons Arms, Gargrave: Black Sheep and Landlord on tap. Here we made the locals move out to make room for us; met lain's long-distance commuting boss, and an irate Doc found us after a pub crawl of the town. Oh yes, and the chippie closed early! Tempest Arms, Eislack: with the Cross Keys at East Marton out of service, we had to made do with a long walk, not helped by believing Steve's story about a short cut by footpath. Our walk was delayed by Ron wrapping his boat's rope round the prop and then making daft suggestions while Joe unravelled it. The pub turned out to be a Jennings - house, a welcome surprise. The food looked really good, but Steve didn't bother with it, preferring to save himself for the chippie in Foulridge. New Inn, Foulridge: pleasant Thwaites house where they stop serving food early, close to non-opening chippie. This years Oldies v 'Youngies match took place here, in the form of a quiz. With Colin staying on the boat to study the porn in private, JO'C as quizmaster, Doc had to be transferred to the Youngies, thereby ensuring defeat. Afters served. Sparrowhawk Hotel, Burnley: posh hotel, handy for the canal, with a bar serving a good range, including the locally brewed Moorhouse beers. Nice chat with a ninety-year old ex- local whose Lancashire accent had survived 50 years in Canada. ("Which part? All of me!") Albion, Clayton-le-Moors: canalside pub, one of five owned by the local Porter brewery. Steve was amazed to find two nearby food outlets, both open. We were amazed at prices ranging from £1.10 -£1.50. Excellent beers at any price. Waggon and Horses, Brierfield: excellent, multi-roomed Thwaites pub, spoilt only by the Irish piped music. Having endured hours of this in John's car on the way up, with the threat of more on the return journey, I could have done without, this, especially after a shopping trip. There were nearby shops, but we'd heard so much about Safeways in Nelson, so we had to try it instead. Old Swan, Gargrave: the better of the pubs we tried in Gargrave with an interesting little Parlour bar. The chippie had the good sense to close before Steve arrived. Boars Head (?), Bridge Inn, Silsden: worth a visit to remind yourself how crap Tetleys and John Smiths are. Nice pie shop nearby which was open! Marquis of Granby, Stocksbridge: canalside pub with Black Sheep best bitter on Offer. We left before the quiz match started. Boltmakers Arms: Keighley: small Timmy Taylor pub, decidedly packed after we all isqueezed in. Well worth the 2.5 kilometre walk -can't understand why some took a cab t back to the boat- it was a lovely walk in the rain. Narrow Boat, Skipton: an excellent discovery, just a few metres from the boat yard and handy for Bizzie Lizzie's, award winning chippie -the first one that Steve found open all week. Excellent range of beers (the pub, that is) in an interesting conversion of an old building. Woolly Sheep, Skipton: our last pub of the week, and we finished off with more of Timothy Taylor's fine ales. Plenty of tot tie in here and we were sitting handily placed for the exit for the ladies Mention should be made to the Nelson & Railway, Kimberley, where six of us stayed over on Friday night to break the journey north. Friendly Hardy & Hanson pub, quite happy to serve late -and early: Cat had a pint or two to wash his breakfast down and Ron inquired about the landlady’s jugs. Shame about the thieves breaking into Colin's car. They looked in John's first, but he'd left his Dubliners tapes on show which put them right off. |
| 2000 Canal Academy Awards
Best Dressed - Ronnie von Richtoven rides again and wearing a Paramater for contrast. Adventurer - Steve trying to find a chippy that was open. Statement - Ron – “If we bail the water out of the weed hatch it will make it easier?” "Hello Boys"- Jake for his limp wristed throw of the windlass which ended up in the canal. Foul emission- For the state of Cat’s ‘waste’ after he consummed some meths for interest ‘purposes’ Rip Van Winkle - Dude and Doc for syncronised sleeping in the New Inn. Wind up - Doc, trying to open a swing bridge, watched by 124 angry car drivers and their passengers. Coward - Steve for being afraid of the kitchen Best carrying out of nominated Duty -The instructor from the boatyard. True Confession of the Week - A starving Steve for saying that’s John’s ‘kedgeree’was alright’ before it be unfashionable Delinquent(s) of the week- Ron and Doc for a superb effort in wrapping the mooring rope round the propeller. Playing to the Crowd - Only Doc could could milk an audience of angry car drivers by opening a swing bridge. Dereliction of Duty - Ron for the poor quality of the porn. The Invisible Man or Dave Gee - Mr Chipy of Foulridge Best dinner - Colin & Cat’s Burnley Balti with Tandori Pork Chop Best breakfast - Tom & Hinsey’s greesy spoon breakfast including scrambled egg on fried bread Worst Dinner -John & Iain’s big portions of pies, marinated in canal water with mash. Worst breakfast - John & Iain’s non Kedgeree with cheap unsmoked fish supplied by Hinsey Most consistent cook - John for his efforts in providing big portions of stooge ‘cooked’ in double quick time. Most improved Cook - Steve for not cooking this year Donald Yule award for the most impact by a non-crew person - Mr Chippy of Foulridge – who needs to sell chips when he contributes so much entertainment. Driver - Outside a lock, a big audience, no turning point – then Ron’s you man to turn a 56 foot boat. Reading Material - The Daily Rage, guaranteed to raise your blood pressure! Skittler -Doc for his poor efforts after being transferred to the youngies in the skittles subsitute quiz. St Peter’s denial - Iain – “It was John that did all the cooking” Sisyphus for the most pointless exercise - Steve for leading us along an unused footpath when there was a parallel road nearby. Mills and Boom award for lovers - A breast loving Ron for desiring two big jugs. Far sighted -Mr Chippy of Foulridge for allowing Steve in. Special Academy commendations -Steve for persisting, despite the crew’s efforts to board another boat thinking it was the Gargrave The Editor’s ‘Rainbow’ award for stunts committed after the Award Ceremony - John Hines for keeping himself and others standing in the rain after the Awards awaiting the person with the Gargrave boat keys. After a period of time he realised that he had them Beer of the week Porter Bitter Best Pub of the week Wagon & Horses Worst Pub Cross Key’s (burnt down) Oldies beat Youngies @ the New Inn 56-52 Subsitute quiz match - as there were no skittle alleys |
| In true Japanese style Doc bows down to his detractors after finally admitting that he and Dude got the rope caught round the prop |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
| Navigators play reservoir dogs at the Bingley Five Rise |
 |
| Dude posing with a barge pole. Note the boat is moored and Ken isn’t really trying hard |
| Not only are they good friends but they sleep together, as well as get ropes tangled round prop shafts |
| Photo taken from upstairs bar in the Narrow Boat. |
| Cowboy hats in the cut, Ron & Tom show off their headgear as John says farewell to his lock key before Jake throws it limp wristedly into the cut |
 |
 |
 |
| New Inn famous for its quizzes, sleeping customers but not food. |
| Narrow Boat Skipton |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
| One of the classiest pieces of driving seen on the cut. Ron turns a narrow boat outside a lock without the help of a winding hole. Jake just manages to get the boat under control as Ron tries to make a dash for home a few days early. |
| How do you get two boats stuck in a lock – and for a second year running. Easy make sure you have quality drivers. Ron this year isn’t involved as he is taking the photo, Dude once again is heavily implicated. |
| John poses at the Bingley Five Rise |
| Dude and Doc manage to get the rope around the prop so that Ron could come out with his classic line “If we bail the water out of the weed hatch will it make it easier?” Points to note, only Joe is getting his hands dirty and Steve's body language |
| The last night and the lads show Steve what the inside of a chippie looks like – Dude insists on the high chair |
| The lads get ready for a night on the town with the anticipation of plenty of hand pumped pulled pints |
 |
| Man of the Canals Steve
Boy of the Canals Ron Turd of the Canals Doc |
| Another photo taken from far above in the Narrow Boat. We like to think Navigators are righteous and is how we think we are viewed from the great canal system in the sky |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|