SATURDAY
Five cars head for Stoke Prior on a morning of mixed weather. Three get there quite early but JOC has foolishly followed Steve’s scenic route through central London, taking in various notable pubs, several road works, and crowds gathering for that afternoon’s FA Cup Final. Last to arrive is the Dudie crew after a cross-country route taking in a lunchtime pit stop. We touch base with the Navigation, which has a disappointing beer selection, so a few of us watch the footie until the shoppers return. Later we find the shoppers have ignored the shopping list instructions on items not to buy, as JOC was bringing them up and instead decide to bulk buy them. Then we load the boats Monique and Shelley (on their maiden and second outings respectively) and hit the cut. A few showers mean that waterproofs are broken out early as we work through a few locks on the way to Tibberton. In the dry kitchen, Les and Iain are preparing a pre-cooked convenience curry. Which they hope to conceal with a starter and pudding! Having drunk in the Bridge at Tibberton last year and found it wanting, we go the extra 50 yards to the Speed the Plough. This is cosy and friendly, although Banks mild and bitter are the only beers. Still, a convivial first evening is passed, despite Iain’s attempts to resurrect the “Grade A “wheeze.
SUNDAY
A bright day with locks almost all the way down to Worcester. Breakfast was served by Les in his Admiral’s uniform, which Dude mistook for a waiter’s outfit, much to his chagrin. The meal was livened up by Ewan’s driving resulting in John Hines’s muesli being deposited in his lap. When informed of this fact, Ewan innocently enquired why he would want to do that! Misinterpreting advice on where we plan to stop at lunchtime, JOC encourages Ewan to attempt a 90 degree turn into a boatyard, this then evolved into a 180 degree effort, which needed a tow from the Shelley to return to the correct course. Eventually we all regroup, tie up and head into Worcester. Geoff attempts to keep count of how many pubs we pass by but soon gives up. Just to add to his consternation, our chosen venue, the Dragon Inn doesn’t open until 13.00, so it’s another 200 yards to the Cap ‘n’ Gown. This is a Hook Norton pub in a modern style with a big screen at one end showing the Test cricket. A couple of pints here and it’s back to the Dragon with its usual excellent selection of ales. Swedish Nightingale from the local Malvern Hills brewery is a popular brew among the crew but JOC and Cat are distracted by the Bishops Farewell. This loosened the latter’s tongue to the extent that Cat remarked that he always started the day with a dump in the shower! The afternoon’s boating entertainment consists of a very short run down to Diglis Basin and a Burden/Hines Spag Bol meal. Here we stop for the night. Then it’s back to the Dragon for the evening. We are entertained by a quiz, packed with skulduggery and general cheating, which JOC manages to manipulate into a tie.
MONDAY
Another sunny day which begins with negotiation of the large locks leading on the River Severn. As the landing stage is south of the locks, all those working the locks are picked up on one boat, leading to a rather fraught mid-stream transfer later on. John Hines then managed the hard task of scratching the side of the boat along one of the banks to the wide river. At one of the locks Tom decides to instruct the individuals at the front of the boat in how to moor a docking boat from the front. He starts by telling those assembled to step off with a coiled rope, attached to the boat for JOC’s benefit and then to smartly tie it twice around the shackle and then to take the strain. How we laughed as Tom did an “Tom and Jerry” cartoon impression as he shot up the landing stage, due to (a) the shackle not being locked into its runner and (b) John Hines still the driver, having the engine engaged in forward. Just then a policeman came onto the scene asking us about a suicidal individual, last seen roaming the river banks. In jest the copper begins by describing Tom, which given his previous activity is entirely logical. Eventually he is directed to the driver who was on deck all the time and we watch as an apprehensive Mr Hines, who because of the engine ticking over, couldn’t hear what was going on at the front, and moves nimbly away from the tiller, when the Policeman calls out, who is the driver. We make it to Stourport after having Kedgeree for breakie. Sitting by the lock entrance is one of those crusty old boatmen who is less than impressed by the cooking boat’s approach. This however, is a masterpiece compared to the second boat. Once through the locks, Shelley also manages to miss the turn into the large basin, leading to some more delicate manoeuvres. Finally we take on water (this activity not helped by a private boat mooring in the way) and stopping above the lock. Ewan immediately checks out the canalside café and emerges with a huge baguette. The shoppers having already gone on their way the rest of us walk past a few pubs, stopping at the Olde Crown, a Wetherspoon pub by the river Stour. This has two beers of note – Everards Sly Fox, too gingery for some, and Otter Bright, much more enjoyable. Back afloat, we head north to Kidderminster. Colin and Cat are cooking and somehow the glass lid for the cooker shatters. Our first mooring spot, in the shadow of the church, is deemed to be a bit dodgy so we move a bit further along, into the shadow of Sainsbury’s. Needless to say our pub of choice is on the far side of town: the King & Castle, which is part of the Severn Valley Railway station. Despite the location and a promising looking selection of beers, the pub turns out to be a bit disappointing, not least in the brusque manner we are asked to leave at the end of the evening.
TUESDAY
A delayed start while Ken leads Doc round the supermarket, no doubt to a bout of panic buying in Kidderminster. The sun shines on us again this morning on one of the most attractive stretches of the canal system. By now, those of us on Monique have discovered that steering can be very difficult at times, possibly due to lack of ballast. As a further impediment to our progress, Geoff, Les and Doc unveil a new lock technique of closing all the paddles before the lock is filled, much to the bemusement of the boaters hoping to come down when we finish. Meanwhile behind us Ron Burden limp wristedly throws his lock key into the canal whilst aiming at the ample target of Ken on the other side. The climax of the morning comes when Ewan attempts patricide by hitting JOC with a tree. (Warning: do not sit at the front of the boat on a wooded and windy canal with a first time driver at the helm). Happily the tree is not too badly harmed and John soon gets over his concussion. Tom on the other hand lost his breakfast on the floor in the same crash, as he was complaining to the cooks about his egg being too hard. Once at Kinver we have the choice of drinking in the canalside Vine or walking into town to the Plough & Harrow. We opt for the latter and guess what? It doesn’t open weekday lunchtimes. Still, it’s an attractive town. The Vine offers Kinver Edge (the beer, not the local landscape feature) and Enville Ale and we drink out on the patio overlooking the lock. There are worse ways of passing an hour or two. In the afternoon we leave the Staffs & Worcester canal and head for Stourbridge. Somehow this plan is initially overlooked by Hinesey who completely misses the junction and carries on heading north. Near the end of the Stourbridge Arm we manage to turn the boats around. Having missed out on a Batham’s pub at lunchtime we make no mistake this evening. The Royal Exchange is as good as ever and the early arrivals have an entertaining chat with a local, who turns out to have been a merchant seaman in the 60s. Luckily he leaves before Tom arrives. The beer is washed down with another quiz, which reveals that our integrity and sense of fair play has not declined since Sunday.
WEDNESDAY
Tom and Les ensure that everyone is up and about early as we have 24 locks in the morning. Thankfully the weather is again dry and pleasant and we fairly whizz through the Stourbridge flight. Meanwhile Doc and Dude produce an interesting continental breakfast; not sure which continent mind you. We negotiate the Delph flight with our customary efficiency and tie up a couple of hundred yards north of the top lock. Those of us who need to go shopping ask a couple of passers by if there are any nearby supermarkets; we are tactfully advised that Merry Hill, one of the largest shopping centres in Europe is just around the corner with steps leading down from the towpath. Since we’re in Brierley Hill, there is only one possible venue: the classic Bull & Bladder, home of Batham’s ales. These are consumed with relish and some of the party also partake of the solid fare on offer: rolls and pies at just a quid each, to supplement the light breakfast we had earlier. Back on the boats, Geoff is cooking chilli and offering bottled Cornish ales as an aperitif. Both are very tasty and earn him, and his lackey Roger, the best dinner award at the end of the week.
We tie up the boats at Netherton and enjoy some banter with a couple of passing police who decide not to apprehend Tom. The Olde Swan is another classic pub and as a bonus it has a TV showing the European Cup Final. A straw poll shows that none of us care much which team wins, but most prefer that Doc’s team loses. This is how it transpires and we (nearly) all have a good laugh when John Terry misses a vital penalty. Beer is top class as ever.
THURSDAY
The day begins with a water stop followed by the delights of Netherton Tunnel. Turning the boats onto the Birmingham Main Line causes some entertainment as does our convoluted efforts to moor the boats. We stroll into Oldbury and find that our pub of choice, the Waggon & Horses doesn’t open until noon. This gives us 15 minutes or so to kill, not a problem on another fine morning. The pub is well worth the short wait, it being a delightful establishment with a good choice of beers, notably the superb Oakham JHB. We are joined by a bunch of probation officers from the council buildings over the road who are noisy but a good laugh. They go back to work too early to hear a frank and honest exchange of opinions between Les and certain Daily Mail reader in our group. In the afternoon it’s straight down to the heart of Birmingham and Gas Street Basin where we tie up after eating a large portion of the two John’s stew. Yet again we have a substantial trek to our pub, delayed while JOC locates his wayward son. In the meantime Iain and Les give up and return to the boats for some wine tasting, including some vintage Italian Rioja. Our evening is spent in the Anchor at Digbeth, a large pub with a wide choice of beers. Eager to sample the Brummie night life, Cat takes Ewan clubbing, or at least a tour of clubs where the latter is refused entry on account of his trackie bottoms and returns to his boat. Cat in his jeans, t-shirt and trainers is ok mind you. Cat ends up in the Tap & Spile until it’s four in the morning, having pulled a young floosie on the way.
FRIDAY
Just like last year, a long wait while we fill with water. In the meantime, some of us make use of the brand new toilet and shower facilities. We set up through the Brum suburbs while Tom sorts out breakfast. He and Ewan had bought kippers while shopping the previous lunchtime and he was none too impressed to be told that this had been left with the guvnor at the Waggon & Horses. Just joking, Tom, look in the freezer! As well as the relocated kippers, breakfast also consists of sausages, bacon and mashed potatoes as Tom uses up some of the surplus food. Stock control seems to have been a bit wayward this year. We stop opposite Alvechurch Marina and hasten to the Weighbridge for an all too brief session. Kinver Bargees Bitter is excellent and the pub merits a longer stop. But we have work to do so it’s a sharpish departure for the delights of Tardebigge locks. We get through these even quicker than last year, managing all 35 in just 3 hours. We start off in bright weather but some ominous dark clouds approach from the east, followed by some rumbles of thunder. Sure enough it pisses down and waterproofs are hastily donned – except by Tom who’s gone ahead for advance lock setting and gets a shower he hadn’t bargained for. Safely back at the boatyard minus yet another lock key, it’s over to the Navigation where Black Sheep and London Pride are the beers on offer. We sit down to a very tasty meal and the voting for the various awards. Ewan marked his first trip by carrying off two trophies, winning Man of the Canal at the first attempt.
SATURDAY
JOC manages to explain away the missing cooker lid with no problem so we say our tearful farewells and bugger off to our various homes. Yet another Navigator winner of a week. |
