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The Absolute Best of the Best Sightings via Guestbook Entries
Content Updated as of April 16, 2003
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On February 3, 1999, John (the bodiless) posted this sighting:
Good afternoon, (would you like some popcorn?) I just called to report a sighting of what the media is apparently calling "The Sizling Saucer Lady". As a first hand observer, I'll confirm that she does indeed sizzle. While this manifestation of the Sizzling one didn't include a direct contact or any comunication I will state that whatever the true composition of the "saucer" is, it demonstated all the charachteristics of a late model european sports car in its high acceleration, cornering and top end. The [m]anner in which it was piloted however leave the burning questions "where did the saucer lady receive her pilots training, and isnt supersonic travel prohibited in school parking lots?" Only fast reflexes and judicious employment of my FTL under-garmets (fruit of the loom.....faster than light?) prevented my immediate and messy discorporation on this planet. I await this report's confirmation by other sightings at or near the same space and time as my own. message ends. the bodiless.
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Since Bodiless Wonders are enemies of Sizzling Saucer Lady! Therefore, the above may not be true.
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On February 18, 1999, Cheshire Barish the Second posted her readiness for a SSL sighting:
I have been awaiting the arrival of the Sizzling Saucer Lady at my abode for a long time now. In fact far too long. It must be that she is way too busy cruising around in her sizzling convertable. If she has time to do a drive by -- let me know and I'll have the popcorn ready, the sourdough starter too.
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One must wonder what the sourdough starter is for?
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On May 18, 2000, Sister Bean Head ranted about her association with and knowledge of the alien:
I have known the Sizzling Saucer Lady for many years now. She is normally quite benign but has, as of late, become rather malicious (probably the fumes from the sizzling saucer affecting her puny brain). I would just like to say, in my own defense, that my Mercedes is not "better than yours." It, in fact, is only better than the failed sizzling saucer. Hmph. By the way, if any of you should see the Sizzling Saucer Lady, shoot to kill. Her time on this planet should come to an end.
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Since this posting and several threating letters, Sister Bean Head's motto "My Mercedes is better than yours" has been changed.
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On June 6, 2000, "Char" sometimes known as eccentricparanoidspice but better known as Metalspork, posted her experience with a Sizzling Saucer Lady Sighting:
I saw [SSL] at Supermodel Kim's Wedding.
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Sizzling Saucer Lady apparently made a fool of herself at this Wedding.
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On June 14, 2000, Tyrtlepower complained about SSL:
I don't know why you all think the SSL is ssooo cool!! She's not all she's cracked up to be anyway. I did have to save her butt from the Evil Pham Monster, ya know!!!
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There is no way this Sizzling Saucer Lady's Adversary, Tyrtlepower, could have saved Sizzling Saucer Lady. Tyrtlepower's 'tyrtle power level' in no way compares or equals the 'sizzle power level'.
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On October 27, 2000, FLOUNDERICIOUS posted his incomplete results from his SSL tracking mission:
HEHEHEHE!!!! I have found the SSL's home site...I'm on the trail now.....I'll not rest until I've tracked down the mysterious alien!
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Flounder did catch up with Sizzling Saucer Lady and actual had an interview with her. Click here to view the interview.
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On November 4, 2000, Spelunker Gregg posted these comments on a previous sighting:
Hoooaaahh! That alleged picture of the SSL looks like a fake to me. Who took it? Roger Patterson and Bob Gimlin?! Get Peter Byrne on the phone...we're hunting us an SSL!
On November 9, 2000, Spelunker Gregg posted his theory about on Sizzling Saucer Lady:
SSL is a member of the Q'ui T'lektos...a race of Betelgusian Aliens that resemble the Greys...only they're green. How weird is that? After studying the SSL I have come to the conclusion that I have no conslusion at this time. My conclusive evidence was non-conclusive as to the conclusion, so I cannot conclude to conclude on her nature.
On March 14, 2000, Spelunker Gregg comes to this startling conclusion:
The Sizzling Saucer Lady is actually the Chupacabra.
On March 29, 2001, Spelunker Gregg goes monster crazy:
F*** the Sizzling Saucer Lady and let's get down to what we all wanna know about: El Chupacabra! ALL YOUR BASE ARE NOW BELONG TO US!
On March 30, 2001, Spelunker Gregg once again shares this information:
The aliens are fine. It's the damn monsters that are the cause of all the great, grand hooha here on Earth!
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Spelunker Gregg, while an accomplice of Sizzling Saucer Lady, seems to like to give his opinion about Sizzling Saucer Lady too freely. The OSSLR would like to say that his opinions are his own and may be figments of his imagination.
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On March 29, 2001, tank_commander_ssl made this announcement:
We have too many aliens. We must take them all out. I will start with this one. As for the rest of you, Alien Take Out Operation is in affect. Go! Go! Go!
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Promoting violence against aliens is not allowed!!!!
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On March 30, 2001, Eye_Jester posted her need to make friends with the alien:
I must befriend the sizzling saucer lady. With her 13 pairs of eyes, you cannot escape. A mere poke in the eye is definitely taken for granted. We all need friends with special skills.
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Are you sure you want Sizzling Saucer Lady as a friend? With her special skills (i.e. sizzling), it could be dangerous.
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On April 13, 2001, Ridiculese (PsuedoGod) posted this nonsense from the basement of the palace on My Olympus:
Hello! Oh how droll...Good evening! no that won't do, either. Ah! I stand up here before you imagining you all without pants. In doing so I have created a sort of euphoria in which I am absolutely comfortable...but I ramble. My main [point] tonight is to thank the academy and all it's fine members. Especially those who voted for me and my project...What? This is just a guestbook? Oh so Sorry! Hello Whomever this guestbook belongs to and lots of luck!!!
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Ridi are you sure you got the right guestbook?
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On July 18, 2001, Coyote (His Divine Enlightenment) attempted to contact the alien with this message:
Sizz, It will be in a crumpled Burger KingŪ bag, at the bus station, to the right of the sandwich vending machine. An old woman will be standing to the left of the vending machine. You are to say to her, "The bass fishing is terrible today." She will reply, "The US has many criminals." Then you will take the bag, and return home. Dmititri and Pietrov will contact you.
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I'm not sure if "Sizz" will get the message, but we'll attempt to pass it along to her.
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On January 6, 2002, cosmic_irrelevance (that guy over there...) started a rumor about SSL's true purpose:
SSL is actually a government worker attempting to lure aliens to Earth to use in her secret underground factories, eliminating the need to hire and pay humans!
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Does Cosmic know something we at the OSSLR don't?
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On March 19, 2002, someone named Graylien visited the OSSLR and theorized, "Aliens don't know everything."
Don't let those aliens get you down! Go to Graylien's Aliens and have a snigger at their expense. Just don't let them see you do it!
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Aliens want you to think they have a sense of humor? Or that it's okay for humans to have a sense of humor behind an alien's back?
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On March 30, 2002, Martiandirt (an alien from a neighboring planet) threated the freedom of speech for this website:
In the interests of national security, I'm afraid we're going to have to confiscate this website, SSL. We were never here.
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Martiandirt is an alien visitor on Earth who took up residence in an evil rival city to SSL's adopted city. However, he should not have the right to stop humans from exposing the truth about the alien lady.
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On September 29, 2002, Radar from Redding, who has been monitering the airwaves for whatever is out there, never saw the Sizzling Saucer Lady but posted how he shall proceed with a sighting after viewing the site:
I must say that this is an interesting site.I must for the moment hold back on some comments as I've not yet investigated enough for a fare evaluation of the goings on.I will be proceeding with this task in the near future and lending my comments as I see fit.This may or may not be a welcome thing but none the less it shall be done.I am very interested in the things you post and offer however I must warn you that I am a friend and fellow Transit Jocky of Uncle Coyote.I will try not to let this sway my thoughts as I really am interested in whats happining here.So with that I will depart and resume my investigation of this most interesting site.....Radar
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A friend of Transit Man and Coyote? Damn! SSL's time on this planet may be doomed.
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On November 22, 2002, true_masked_wabbit asked the question on everyone's lips:
What? No birds?
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Sorry, Trudi. No birds. This is an alien site.
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On January 23, 2003, Ridiculese, while in the dinning room, theorized, "What goes down must come out," then commented:
Could you pass me the ketchup?...oh, and the doughnuts? Thanks!
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Ridi, ketchup and doughnuts together cannot belong in any diet fit for alien or human!
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On April 9, 2003, Maria Palmer of the-alien.net provided this over used theory:
They are here amongst us!
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Yep! They are! (Sheesh!)
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