| *Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery. *Every ten seconds, somewhere on this earth, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. *Gotta run; neighbors just sighted Elvis making crop circles. *Any twelve people who can't get themselves out of jury duty are not my peers. *Anything in parenthesis can (not) be ignored. *If it were truly the thought that counted, more women would be pregnant. *Corduroy pillows: they're making headlines! *Dyslexic man sells soul to Santa; details at eleven. *Condense soup, not books. *Support bacteria; they're the only culture some people have. *It's a little-known fact that the Dark Ages were created by unresolve Y1K issues. *Meanwhile, back at the ranch, tension mounted, clicked his spurs, and rode off. *Ever stop to think... and forget to start again? *5 out of 4 people don't understand fractions. *Those nicotine patches seem to work really well, but it's difficult to keep 'em lit. *This isn't Burger King; you can't have it your way. *I'm gonna survive or die trying. *I guess surrealism's not your cup of tuna. *Elvis is dead, Mozart is dead, Einstein is dead, and I'm not feeling so hot myself. *If genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration, I wind up sharing an elevator with a lot of bright people. *Here at First National, you're not just a number... You're two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash, and another number. *She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower. *I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. *His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels. *He's about as exciting as my wall. *The butter slipped off her noodle. *She's a few sandwiches short of a picnic. *You're more unprepared than a vegetarian at a state barbeque. *Don't worry; I'm fluent in weirdo. *People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity. *"Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a few mistakes." -Steve Wright *"You can't go around saying, 'Everybody's got a water buffalo!' Everyone does *NOT* have a water buffalo! We're going to get nasty letters saying, 'Where's *MY* water buffalo?!? Why don't *I* have a water buffalo?!?' Are you prepared to deal with that? I didn't think so!" -Archibald Asparagus *This is the nineties; you don't just go around punching people. You have to say something cool first. *Sticks and stones may break my bones -- And so would an 80-pound carrot. *If oranges smell like chicken, why are tomatoes blue? Think about it. *Alas, poor kiroY. I knew him backwards. *A horse is a horse, of course, of course / He follows a lifestyle we don't endorse / He drinks the blood of a sheep by force / The vampire horse, Count Ed. *"Bob?" asked Steve. "Jim," Frank replied. *Some artists work in oils, some work in clay. I prefer Jello. |
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