| *All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand. *I think, therefore I am... not related to you. *The wheel is still spinning, but the hamster is dead. *Hey! Quit hogging all the ugly! *He couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions printed upside-down on the heel. *Heaven doesn't want me and hell's afraid I'll take over! *You know, you could've been prevented for a quarter. *I have an 8-track mind in a DVD world. *I'll listen to logic and reason when it comes out on CD. *I don't suffer from stress; I'm a carrier. *Of course I'm arrogant. The best usually are. *Save the whales! Collect the whole set. *A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. *On the other hand... you have different fingers. *I feel like I'm diagonally-parked in a parallel universe. *You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. *I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges. *Honk if you love peace and quiet. *Remember that half the people you know are below-average. *Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains? *Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool. *Atheism is a non-prophet organization. *He who laughs last thinks slowest. *Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. *Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. *The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. *I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. *I intend to live forever -- So far, so good. *Borrow money from pessimists -- They don't expect it back. *If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends. *My mind is like a steel trap -- Rusty and illegal in 37 states. *Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of. *The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. *Support bacteria; they're the only culture some people have. *When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. *If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. *Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. *For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism. *Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. *Never do card tricks for your poker buddies. *No one is listening until you make a mistake. *Success always occurs in private and failure in full view. *The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it. *The coldness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread. *To steal ideas from one person is plagarism; to steal from many is research. |
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