| *I like long walks, especially when taken by people who annoy me. *Personally, I've always thought of a chaperone as someone too old to make the team but still in there intercepting passes. *Fear not my insanity; fear the mind it protects. *Do not disturb. I had a hard enough time getting turbed in the first place. *I'm the leader. Which way did they go? *In some cultures, what I do would be considered normal. *I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio, I think, "Hey, maybe I wrote that." *I live in my own little world, but it's okay. They know me here. *If the universe is expanding, why can I never find a parking spot? *Earth is full. Go home. *Is it time for your medication or mine? *Aw, did I step on your itty bitty ego? *I went to a restaurant that was so expensive they didn't have prices on the menu. They just had little faces with varying expressions of horror. *I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights. Now it looks like I'm the only one moving. *I go to bed early. My favorite dream starts at nine. *A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills. She has fourteen kids, but she doesn't really care. *If your parents got a divorce, would they still be brother and sister? (Only in Fallbrook...) *Cry me a river, then build me a bridge and get over it. *You need to find a quiet corner and have a word with yourself. *He's such a loser, he still parties like it's 1999. *It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end. *How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? Why not the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove and lacks that dangerous beak. *If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. *Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly, it slips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. *Someday my ship will come in. With my luck, I'll be at the airport. *I'm serious. It was a joke. *I like to paint passing lines on curved roads. *I hate to spread rumors, but what else can you do with them? *I took an IQ test and the results came back negative. *Last night, I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. *If you're a horse and someone gets on your back, falls off, and then gets right back on, I think you should buck him off right away. *Consider the daffodil. While you're doing that, I'll be over here, going through your stuff. *Debate politics with a fern. If you lose, refuse to water it. *Who lit the fuse on your tampon? *God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier. *I don't have a license to kill, just a learning permit. *I wasn't born a b*tch; men like you made me this way. *Quit honking, I'm reloading. *Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either! *Who were the beta testers Preparations A through G? *Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. |
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