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It's a Blind Fools
SPECIAL REPORT
Blind Fools has learned of a ground breaking research study which is going to release its findings later this month to the public.
The research has been headed up by Dr. Werner von Itsallcrap, specializing in the field of chromatology (the study of color). He is also an avid amateur evolutionist.
Dr. Itsallcrap secured a federal grant of 1.7 million tax-payer dollars after he convinced some liberal senators that he could finally give scientific proof of evolution.
They just reallocated some funds from the SETI project which used to be dredfully, (I mean, federally), funded and is gaining momentum to again receive tax dollars.
SETI still hasn't found any intelligent signals (as if discovering signals with any order to them meant that they were actually created by an intelligent being). But it's still worth pumping loads of money into just in case.
His report will show conclusively that color which we see today actually evolved in stages. From here on out is an advanced showing of a portion of the study exclusively for subscribers to the Blind Fools newsletter...
Dr. Werner von Itsallcrap
(a man of color)
Excerpt from the report:
To understand how we see color, we must first know something about the nature of light. Light is a form of energy that behaves in some ways like waves. Light waves have a range of wavelengths.
A wavelength is the distance between any point on one wave and the corresponding point on the next wave. Different wavelengths of light appear to us as different colors.
A band of colors called the visible spectrum forms when white light passes through a prism (a specially shaped glass object).
The prism bends the shortest light waves most. They appear violet. It bends the longest waves least. They appear red. All other colors lie in between. (see Fig. A)
Measured in Nano-Inches
Actual electron-mocroscope image
So each color's wavelength has a different complexity. And holding to the presupposition of evolution in which life forms grew more and more complex from very simple ones, it is my contention that light evolved the same way.
There's no reason why it shouldn't have either because it is a product of nature as well.
In the beginning it was dark (because black is the absence of light) and then there was light (note: any parallel to the previous statement and any religious text is purely coincidental. Don't write me and accuse me of being a fundy in disguise).
But this first light was not white, it was actually red.
Since red has a longer wavelength, and therefore has fewer waves within a given distance than all the other colors, it is the least complex.
And just like the first living organisms were the least complex, so was red. At this point everything had a dark reddish hue to it (just like wearing a dark pair of rose-colored sunglasses).
The next light to evolve was orange, then yellow (this brightened things up a bit).
Try an at-home experiment. Get some red paint and some yellow paint. Then mix the two. What do you get? Yes, orange (a transitional color). This is real observable proof that color evolved from red to orange to yellow.
Next came green, then blue and then violet.
Of coarse the whole process took millions and millions and millions of years to develop. But afterwards there was finally the white light we have today.
But there is no reason to believe that the process is complete. Just like life, it is going to keep evolving.
In the future there will colors that we never dreamed of. But don't think that it will all be fun and games in those days. There is eventually going to be a major problem!
As more and more colors get added to the light spectrum, white light is just going to get whiter and brighter. Eventually it will be too much to handle, even with an expensive pair of Ray Bans.
We (they) will have to use scientific technology to adapt to all of this light pollution.
That is unless, of coarse, the universe burns itself out into a cold death by then.
Until then, though, we can enjoy our colors with the comfort that they evolve slowly and we have nothing to worry about.
