Table of Contents
The "Official Church Leaders" Page
Toon Dig -
The Blind Fools Guest Entry Log
The Book of Chances
Chapter Six
Editors note: you may be wondering what happened to chapter five. The GS crew decided since it mainly mentioned propagation of the species with some fictionalized names thrown in here and there, that it was in the best interest of the "entertainment value" to rip that whole chapter out of the book.
Here is chapter six for your reading pleasure . . .
Chances 6:1 When men began to increase in a random
number on the earth and daughters were mistakenly born to them
(through their wives of coarse),
Chances 6:2 the sons of Chance just happened to
notice that the daughters of men evoked a pleasing visual response,
and they became soul-mates to many of them not by choice, but
was rather the result of their mindset which was formed both
by their childhood experiences and the biological fallacies of
their brain cells that were the result of random genetic mutations
over millions of years.
Chances 6:3 Then Chance said, "My Odds will
not play games with man for a never ending sequence of events,
for he is mortal; his days will be an unspecified amount of years."
Chances 6:4 The Nephilim were on the earth in those days - and also afterward (but "in those days" are what we are concerned with right now)- when the sons of Chance bumped into the daughters of men they mysteriously had children by them.
They were the old hero sandwiches,
men of renown (so designated because they had obviously been
"nowned" once before).
Chances 6:5 Chance saw how great man's reasoning
on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts
of his heart was only logic all the time.
Chances 6:6 Chance was perplexed that he had evolved
man on the earth, and its heart was filled with numbered lotto
balls.
Chances 6:7 So Chance said, "I will un-evolve
mankind, whom I have evolved, from the face of the earth (again,
some things are figurative. The earth obviously does not have
a face) - men and animals, and creatures that scratch behind
their ears, and birds of the air - for I am perplexed that I
have evolved them."
Chances 6:8 But Noah hit a lucky streak in the eyes
of the Chance.
Chances 6:9 This is the haphazardly thrown together
account of Noah. Noah was a lucky man, lossless among the people
of his time sequence, and he walked by Chance.
Chances 6:10 Noah had three sons: Shem (ball #7),
Ham (ball #7) and Japheth (ball #7). Noah won his sons through
the Pick Three Lotto.
Chances 6:11 Now the earth was rational in Chance's
sight and was full of logic.
Chances 6:12 Chance saw how logical the earth had
become, for all the people on earth had proactively planned their
ways.
Chances 6:13 So Chance said to Noah, "I am going
to quickly un-evolve all people, for the earth is filled with
logic because of them. I am surely going to rapidly reverse the
evolutionary sequence of both them and the earth.
Chances 6:14 So evolve yourself an ark of cypress
wood or whatever material you might happen to find lying around;
make rooms in it if you wish and coat it with pitch inside and
out if you feel like it.
Chances 6:15 This is how you might want to build
it: The ark is to be (roll the dice) feet long, (roll the dice)
feet wide and (roll the dice) feet high.
Chances 6:16 Evolve a roof for it and finish the
ark to within (pick a card) inches of the top. Put a door in
the side or on the bottom of the ark and make lower, middle and
upper decks with obstructed views that sell for half the price
of unobstructed views.
Chances 6:17 I am going to really rapidly evolve
alot of H2O on the earth to hinder the survival of all life under
the heavens, every creature that has the breath of oxygen in
it. Everything on earth will un-evolve.
Chances 6:18 But, if you remain lucky, I might establish
some sort of non-binding legal agreement with you, and you will
fall backwards into the ark - you and your sons and your wife
and your sons' wives with you, all falling backwards into the
ark.
Chances 6:19 You are to influence into the ark (flick
and spin the arrow to arbitrarily pick a number) of all living
creatures, either X chromosome, Y chromosome or both, to sustain
their survival with you. If something should happen, don't worry.
I can evolve everything back over an unspecified amount of time.
Chances 6:20 (Resulting number of flick and spin
the arrow in verse 19) of every kind of bird, of every kind of
animal and of every kind of creature that moves along the ground
may come charging toward you to eat you to promote their own
survival. You had better be fit!
Chances 6:21 It may be wise for you to take lots
of different kinds of food that is to be accidentally swallowed
and you may wish to store it away as food for you and for them.
But this is merely a suggestion and I don't want to shove this
point down your throat."
Chances 6:22 Noah did everything by Chance.
Chapter 7 may evolve if enough
time passes until the next issue.
