Table of Contents
Frank B. Finite (a "true" atheist)
So-So Proofs of Intelligent Design
Caricature Christianity For Dumbies
Alternate Resurrection Theory of the Month
Amazing Transitional Animals
Darwin said that we should find millions of transitional fossils to support the theory of evolution.
And though we haven't come across any yet, we know it is just a matter of time before we do. Because given enough time, anything can happen (i.e., something from nothing, order from chaos via random chance, evolution, etc. and etc.).
So we have taken the liberty of "reconstructing" what these transitional animals were probably like.
We snookered a bunch of students from the local art school to help us out pro-bono. Now it should be cautioned that these aspiring artists may have pushed their creative license in order to beef up their portfolio and make a name for themselves (which scientists are probably above doing, right?).
Then we hood-winked a bunch of natural science students from the local junior college to give us a brief synopsis of how these animals probably lived. And they probably took some creative licenses too (which scientists are also probably above doing, right?).
Enjoy the tour . . .
The Good Evo-Shepherd Edition
Fish-to-Sheep Transitionary Species
A swift and aggressive swimmer, the Fisheep used to be the great predator of the seas. Even the ancestors of sharks fell victim to their violent appetite. Fisheep would effortlessly glide behind their prey and snatch them in with their powerful claws and suck their innards leaving only the shell of a carcass behind.
Once their heavy wool started to evolve on their main body region, they had to migrate to land in order to avoid drowning in the water-soaked heavy material.
Scorpion-to-Sheep Transitionary Species
During the arachnid stage of evolution, sheep developed quick and agile land navigation thus losing most of their aquatic abilities and remaining cast-away on dry soil. But they didn't lose their aggressive carnivorous behavior.
Another feature acquired at this stage was that the tip of the once flappy tail used for swimming shrinked to a single sharp point. And the resulting hollow middle redirected the animals highly toxic urine. In time Sheepion learned how to use this appendage as a weapon for either self-defense or hunting.
It is believed that some fossils will be found showing that the tail stingers got stuck in the woolly velcro-like fabric on their backs thus enabling their weapons useless. This undoubtedly led to many a demise.
Lizard-to-Lamb Transitionary Species
Lambzards were partly lizard and partly crocodile - ferocious crocodile. By this time they were fed up with life on land and getting pretty darned agitated. And they took this frustration out on any unsuspecting animal who happened to cross their path.
During this stage their urinary tracts had redirected themselves and the useless pointy tail tips shriveled up and fell off. Now they had to depend on stealth, quick speed and powerful jaws for survival. Also their claws and some legs had fallen off too.
Owl-to-Ewe Transitionary Species
When reptiles evolved into birds, this species was but one of the resulting products. The original bird of prey, the Ewelle was a master of the silent approach. Woolly feathers all but muffled any wind resistance noise (though it did slow them down a bit).
In fact, Ewelles almost wiped out all other species of animals which were at the time themselves evolving into flying foul. But a meteor hit the earth and strangely only Ewelles were affected being mostly wiped out allowing other species to reach the finish line of birddom.
Ewelles could rotate their heads 437 degrees clockwise, but only 354 degrees counter-clockwise.
Sheep-to- Better Sheep, Man-Made Transitionary Species
These will be a future transitional species directed by hand of man (and some women). Genetic engineering will not only produce a higher form of the animal, but will also insure a variety of colors to choose from.
Black sheep will be eliminated all together since they always cause trouble and tend to feel a disconnect from the family anyway.
Once not too long ago primitive sheep got trapped in the Valley of the Blind where all opponents they previously had were not around anymore. This and the fact that they were forced to eat grass for survival directed them to become passive and non-thinking followers of humans.
Now some centuries later this beautiful relationship will manifest itself in superior products for man while safely maintaining the ever fragile sheep population.
Sheep
All existing creatures today are assumed to have passed through centuries of harsh environments and being superior survivors, out-performed competitors, ancestors and near cousins. Those survival instincts would continue to be passed on even after the environment may have improved, permitting an easier life.
Domesticated cats and dogs still retain instincts for hunting even though they may have never observed such skills nor ever needed them. Yet upon being released to the wild, dogs will hunt in packs and cats become natural predators.
What are the survival skills possessed by sheep? Modern breeds of sheep appear to be devoid of survival skills or defensive mechanisms. They seem to depend on humans for their existence. Without human protection they become easy prey for predators.
We do not see a symbiotic relationship where some animal protects sheep for a selfish reason. Animals either have no use for sheep or simply want to eat them. Only humans shepherd them for use.
So in what kind of environment did sheep evolve? If they had ancestors that were more aggressive or more able to fend off predators, those breeds would have out-performed a more passive kind and would have dominated throughout time.
Yet we see no such aggressive breed. It would seem the passive sheep came into being and flourished only during the reign of humans, there were no sheep ancestors prior to human shepherds.
Baaaahhh . . .
(Borrowed from Biblical Answers.net)