"I drive a penis extension, we get it already!" - Jared, yelling at the narrator.
| PART TITLES | DESCRIPTION | LINKS |
| Prologue: Hope is for the Foolish / Who, What, Where, and Does that Come with Chocolate? |
A prologue only a few pages long defines this episode. The basic facts are established without any fanfare, but nothing unimportant is given away... otherwise this would be the teaser and not the prologue. | [Original] [Special Edition] [Platimum Special Edition] |
| Episode 1: Who was that Masked Man? / Unfamiliar Everything |
In perhaps the only episode which actually a single episode worth of material (25 minutes of screen time), we are greeted to Evas, an Angel of uncertain origin, and more of the Goons antics of insanity. The group sews but a few plot lines, and the overall tone of the episode is 'weird,' thus setting the tone for future episodes. | [Original] [Special Edition] [Platimum Special Edition] |
| Episode 2: Rats in a maze / Sure we Want the Stinking Badges |
Opening with one of the most kick-ass action scenes in the entire Three Goons storyline, the bulk of this part (now the size of two regular Evangelion episodes) is spent in the psychiatric evaluations and Eva testing. What ensues will no doubt go down in hisotry as some of the most f***ed up material to ever come in contact with anime and still make sense when the dust settles. | [Original] [Special Edition] [Platimum Special Edition] |
| Episode 3: Paint the Town / Beggars and Choosers |
A lazy, 'nothing' episode where the Three Goons get themselves situated in Tokyo-3. There's a bit of Eva testing, the apperance of numerous running gags, and several large non-Eva fights. Highlights include kidnapping Ritsuko and practically taking over NERV. | [Original] [Special Edition] [Platimum Special Edition] |
| Episode 4: Being of Sound Mind and Body / Where are the keys? |
Through an epic anime marathon, the Goons learn to speak Japanese extremely well. The American-built Evas have arrived, and with them, synch tests. After ki-blasting some targets to kingdom-come, the Goons finally wrangle their way onto the pilot's roster and pick up some more sweet hardware. Of course, all is not well in Eva-land. The pilots have to stay behind while the rest of the school goes on a trip to the hot springs. The Americans hang around, now knowing what's next... | [Original] |
| Episode 5: BUS DRIVER / All in a Day's Work |
The Psycho-Sensei, fearsome kanji teacher, is introduced. Warnings fail, and the inevitable MAGMA DIVER episode is the result. Of course, a peaceful day in the hot springs isn't likely with the Pervert of Perverts among us, but casualties are light. A second Angel attack graces this episode in concert with the lights going out. This time the Goons are prepared, and massive battles await those to dare to finish this episode. | [Original] |
| Episode 6: Of Chicks and Evas / Enter the Feline |
Now that Jared's wrote 90% of the previous episode, he isn't about
to let the other authors off lightly. Toji is hired as a pilot, the
Goons 'introduce' him to NERV, and Asuka demands to be taught the ki
techniques the Goons have already used to save the day. Two parties,
five fight scenes, countless discussions, an Eva brawl, a train,
a few movies spoofs, and Jared's trademark conspiracy theory later,
we end on what some authors imagine is a high note.
Oh yeah, Sidestep is written, but nobody notices... yet. |
[Original] |
| Episode 7: Rebirth of a Fallen Angel / "Yes Ellen, there are..." |
At well over 400kb in size, this episode is the largest TGE part by far. The episode opens by picking up directly from episode 06's epilogue, with an AI coming to life in the first few pages. The morning's events also kick off the episode's tone and humor. No Angel attacks occur, but the 'heroes' of the story (though the good guy/bad guy roles swap faster than a politician changes beliefs) fight off a feral Shinji Ikari, an evil John Genoni, a dark Jedi Ritsuko Akagi, The Admirers of Misato Katsuragi, an ultra-cute chibified Andy Mucha, a pile of bad fanfic ideas, and three small islands. Gags are aplenty, perhaps more plentiful than other episodes, and certainly longer. The only thing missing was a detailed Predator spoof, though the expected Aliens, Pulp Fiction, James Bond, Planet of the Apes, Star Trek, and yes, Matrix spoofs make welcome appearances. | [Original] |
| Episode 8: The Digital Assassin / Of Rats and Apes |
The Goons actually come up with a plan that sort-of works. The viral
Angels makes its appearance, leading to several massive fights,
including one _within_ the MAGI. The Goons boldly go where Hideaki Anno
wouldn't, in the episode NOT written by Andy!
Now with 35% more monkeys. No authors were harmed in the production of this fanfic. |
[Original] |
| Episode 8.5: Vignette 1 / The Dying Passion for Life |
A quiet moment between the hell of episode 8 and the hell of episode 9. | [Original] |
| Episode 9: What Plot hole? / It came with the _____ |
WARNING: There are two versions of this story. First you will find the 'cut' version which is in no serious way canon and will be shortly discarded and forgotten. Second, there is the FULL VERSION, which is now posted in its beta entirety. It's big. It's huge. It's massive. It's... been sitting on my hard drive for seven weeks, so it's properly aged now. Enjoy it. | [Cut Version]
[Full version] |
| Episode 10: Crisis of Infinite Identity / Who are You? |
The Real Deal. Replacing the unforgivable "Special Release," the actual episode 10 contains 150 times your daily dose of mayhem, grandstanding, lunacy, ego-worship, giant monster battles, fourth-wall breakage, pseudo-metaphysical reincarnation, pretentious sassing, ki technique granting, flashback whoring, prose, video games spoofing, and S^2 organ generation. Do not inhale. Take with liberal amounts of alchohol. Do not bring into contact with reality. Should common sense kick in, subdue it with a foamy bat. The Special Release is still available if you want to tempt fate. |
[Special Release]
[.RTF Release] |
| Three Goons in Eva MISSION X-MAS |
A Christmas Special? What?! | [.RTF Release] |
| Episode 11:Up on the Boardwalk / Down by the Sea... |
Special Release. Go read now. | [Special Release] |
| Episode 12: Dull Wit but Sharp Points / Kawaiikune! |
Special Release. Go read now. | [Special Release] |
| End of Goonvangelion | The end. A must-read. | [Special Release] |