That constitution is nothing but a pipe dream

The president of Somalia is at the cutting edge of technology. He governs by SMS

Cabinet Tales II
My unique take on the lovely country of Uganda

Word Of The Day
Short Stories: Hotel Magnifique , Check Mate
Just Friends - A Thesis
Visit the past archives of my assorted ramblings
Issue 78: Tuesday November 16 2004 Where have I been,Only In Kenya, blind rewards, equal rights and City Fathers

Hotel Magnifique
Check Mate

Cabinet Tales I
A heartfelt LETTER FROM GOMORRAH
A BEAUTY PAEGENT like no other!
THIS IS A DREAM!
SOCCER MANIA - clash of the titans
DO TELL ... Questions that beggar an answer!
Keep up to date. Visit the INFORMATION DESK
EULOGIES should be more along these line s ...
THE GIRLS PLAY BALL
INTELLIGENCE is not as common as you think!
Fun and games at a UNIVERSITY RIOT!
There are SOME DAYS ...
A KUMI KUMI Guide for the novices. A MUST read!
A POEM for someone special!
DEAREST JOHN: John Doe's better half replies with energy to issues raised by her worse half!
DEAREST JANE: A man addresses issues such as crossing rivers for his be loved ...
FAVOURITE MOVIES Some notable personalities share their favourite flicks
PRESS RELEASE FROM THE AFGHANISTANI BROADCASTING CORPORATION The proprietor of Afghanistan's first TV studio shares his visions

I can be found 24-7 at

My 140th Birthday on the 1st was pretty good as Birthday's go. I went to bed full of cake, ice cream, food and good cheer, smelling of various brands of perfume, aftershave and beer, the former courtesy of hugs and bear hugs the latter courtesy of a bucket full of assorted beer and spirits that was used to douse my person. I smelt powerfully of Kenya Breweries for the latter part of 1st December

Kibaki (ki-ba-ki): (Noun) Person with a habit of sitting on one's hands, hoping problems will solve themselves.
USAGE
- Stop Kibaking and make a decision! (Verb)
- Don't be a Kibaki and make up your mind! (Noun)
- That Head of State procrastinates Kibakily! It's a wonder he gets out of bed! (Adverb)

No one was more outraged than myself when George 'Wargasm' Bush let slip his dogs of war and sent his tanks, troops, soldiers, catapults and peashooters into Iraq.

Last month some schmucks executed Margaret Hassan, the head of CARE International Iraq, who is IRAQI and

has been living there for the past 20 odd years, selflessly contributing to better the life of her people.

I cannot begin to understand the crass stupidity that let to this turn of events. If you can execute someone who has sacrificed to help your sorry backside, you are more than welcome to have 13 cruise missiles smeared with chocolate and jammed sideways up yer candy arse!

This cat, Barack Obama, clinched a Senate seat in Illinois, if I am not mistaken. Apparently his old man is from the shores of Lake Victora, and so he has some Kenyan Ancestry.

Now the joy with which his victor was met here was nothing short of amazing. Cats where behaving as if their best friend had just become the President of USA, the European Union and the Captain of the Brazil Soccer Team at the same time. A beer from the stables of Kenya Breweries called Senator was quickly re-christened to Obama

People full expect money to come rolling their way. The expect good old Barack to send roads, airports and development their way. They expect the US Embassy staff to smile with them at their arrival, serve them coffee and biscuits as they quickly process their visas. They fondly imagine they have a direct link to the seat of power and if they so wanted, can ask him to make Kenya US's 52nd State.

If you are one of these people, allow me to let you know, and you'll pardon my Latin, you are a STUPID SCHMUCK! Obama is NOT Kenyan. He is an American, voted in by Americans to serve America. You do not feature remotely anywhere in his sights. Get used to it!

My dear friend Mel was telling me the other day that some gentleman had confessed to her that she was all that, a bag of chips and a side of bacon. She however, was not of a similar disposition, and told him that she valued his friendship. However his almost explosive reaction and subsequent departure left her puzzled.

So she and her gaggle of girls sought out an explanation, and since I was the slowest of my boys on that particular day I was cornered neatly just outside Yaya as me and my lad Fred were making a getaway, having been warned in advance. Fred and I were forced to write a small Thesis on the phenomenon of "Just friends"

Kenya has 3,000,000 formally employed people. Let us assume all are taxable and since all pay between 0 and 5,000 bob for NSHIF, we can average out at 2,000 bob. So in one month we raise 3,000,000 * 2,000 = 6,000,000,000. Then since those 3 million employees are supporting 30 million Kenyans, each Kenyan is entitled to 6,000,000,000 / 30,000,000 = 200 bob a month.

Now, If we model NSHIF along NSSF lines 70% of the cash is used in administration. So in a month out of the 6 billion raised, 1.8 billion is available for the people while 4.2 billion is used in administration. So in reality if the worst comes to the worst, you are entitled to 1,800,000,000 / 30,000,000 = 60 bob.

So in a month. 1.8 billion bob is to be used by 30 million Kenyans, who are in need of anti-retrovirals, surgery, cancer treatment, medicine, glasses, crutches, stitches ....

Bush. Bushel. FBI. Osama. Osamo. Bomb. Al Qaeda. Al Coholic. Saddam Hussein. Chemical Ali. Bowling Ali. Dimly Lit Ali. Dead End Ali.

Good RSS readers: RSSBandit and, RSSConnect and RSS Reader. Also Rocketinfo (online)
I have NO PROBLEM with you syndicating.

1 December: Unto us a child was born. I won't be offended if you give me money for my birthday!
4 December: Smirnoff Experience at the Carnivore
12 December: Some public holiday or the other
23 December: Christmas Eve Eve
24 December: Christmas Eve
25 December: Christmas Day
26 December: Boxing Day

Just a shout out to my nearest and dearest for soldiering on in spite of knowing me well...Aida (You're the best) , Sam (Ever my lad) , Njeri (Out of Country only in body) , Winnie (Nuts!) , Angela (Keep me on my toes) and Bert (You's a good man!)- thanks a million. You guys are the best! 10,000 blessings and a bag of potatoes for you!

My thanks also to Muthoni, Kelvin, Nina, Z, Kip, Vicky, Jacqueline, Jeff, P and Cathy. Thanks a lot from the bottom of my little heart :)

Some more fine produce of the MotherLand
The Kenyan Pundit
Jozie's
Mental Acrobatics
Unganisha
Two4Dice
Mashada
Aturi
Magaidi
Begins At Home
Ethan Zukerman
Am too lethargic to go looking for some more so if you know of any mail me