Visit the past archives of my assorted ramblings
Letter From Gomorrah
Read Issue 61: Biblically speaking and the Matrix Revolutions
Much needed Peace And Quiet
A SUPERVENT is in the works. Keep your capillary festooned eyeballs peeled!
Links, links and links...

22 November: Winnie's Birthday
1 December: MY BIRTHDAY! MY BIRTHDAY. Did I mention it's my BIRTHDAY? I expect PRESENTS, and lots of them. LOTS AND LOTS OF THEM!
1 December: World Aids Day. (I know, I know, but I was born first!)
12 December: Laura's Birthday!
12 December: Celebration of 40 years of Bullshit!
24 December: Christmas Eve
25 December: Christmas Day

Those backing NARC are homesick. The ones cursing it are sick of home

A BEAUTY PAEGENT like no other!
THIS IS A DREAM!
SOCCER MANIA - clash of the titans
DO TELL... Questions that beggar an answer!
Keep up to date. Visit the INFORMATION DESK
EULOGIES should be more along these lines....
THE GIRLS PLAY BALL
INTELLIGENCE is not as common as you think!
Fun and games at a UNIVERSITY RIOT!
There are SOME DAYS...
A KUMI KUMI Guide for the novices. A MUST read!
A POEM for someone special!
DEAREST JOHN: John Doe's better half replies with energy to issues raised by her worse half!
DEAREST JANE: A man addresses issues such as crossing rivers for his beloved...
FAVOURITE MOVIES Some notable personalities share their favourite flicks
PRESS RELEASE FROM THE AFGHANISTANI BROADCASTING CORPORATION The proprietor of Afghanistan's first TV studio shares his visions
DEDICATIONS: Music is the language of the heart -- touching messages to loved and not so loved ones

It takes a strong man to walk from Sarit Center to South B precisely 72 minutes if he does not stop to linger. This, my friends, is research I was forced to do the hard way after by some twist of fate I ended up being marooned in Westlands....

More fodder for the upcoming SuperVENT!

Last week the entire female population of Parliament in a show of solidarity, stood as one man (ha ha!) and stormed out in protest of rules prohibiting the presence of hand bags in those hallowed of precincts.

The cat who raised the alarm, one Raphael Wanjala, strikes me as being a singularly hawk-eyed gentleman. How he noticed this in that festival of humanity leaves me to wonder precisely what he was looking at in order to notice the presence of hand bags!

And in my true fashion of being solidly behind the underdog, I am with them 103.1245%. Personally I find the excuse of the bags being used to ferry sawed off shotguns, silenced pistols and the like wanting to the extreme. Those mooting this excuse should at the earliest convenience be introduced to the magical thing called the pocket. A pocket can be used to store anything. In fact, inner coat pockets were designed to be receptacles for such nifty gadgets.

Mr Kaparo, Speaker, can you spell dynamite? With most of the MPs being fatheads of the highest caliber you should be worried a lot more about them!

So our feisty, furious, fire breathing, fearless females strutted out of the chambers and into a prepared press conference and there they they laid bare their chests. In a manner of speaking, of course ;)

They held forth on the issue for a while before finally getting to the crux of the matter -- that as women they are not being accorded the respect and dignity due to them as MPs. They feel more like tolerated visitors more than members of the household! Betty Tett in particular looked incensed at this point, and I don't blame her! The thought of taking on one Fred Vitalis Gumo gives me the creeps!

Personally, I feel that their being referred to as 'women MPs' is already a step back right there! My dear ladies you are MPs, something you fought very hard for!  Power to you!

Now then, for my boy Pete who 'se fondness for NARC is bordering on the obsessive.

Two weeks back our favourite sweating minister, Chris 'Hulk Hogan' Murungaru, appeared at a press conference in his traditional brown suits made from the finest Raymond's blankets, mopped his sweaty brow with a handkerchief the size of a tent and imparted to us the good news that 12 days were going to be set aside to celebrate 40 years of independence. To commemorate this there would be singing, dancing, poetry and games, including soccer and ajua. There was also talk of shake, kati, bano and taya.

The 100 million bob is coming from the Disaster Contingency fund. For those unaware, this is the cash that will be used if a disaster of some sort occurs -- e.g. the flooding that is going to happen next year in Budalangi. Yep, the one they declared total war on, shed tears and called it a national disaster and swore to fix once and for all.

The government is going to use this cash to sing, dance and play ajua in celebration of -- er -- 40 years of -- what exactly?

When I tell you the collective IQ of the government is about that of a tin of BAKED BEANS. I know what I am talking about! George Bush, I hate to admit, is doing fine after all!

As an aside, there is one MP called Anthony Kimetto. This gentleman is one of the few MP's I'd love to meet. (This list is remarkably short I can tell you!) Why? This gentleman has the most LUDICROUS hairdo to accompany the most RIDICULOUS hair colours. The last time I saw him on TV his hair was the colour of rusted rust and combed with what must have been a 3D hotcomb. I found it impossible to tell which way he was facing! Add to the fact that his hair matched his suit and this was crowned off with a yellow tie! The clashing colours for a moment made me think he was wearing a suit of armour under his attire! Can you spell mid-life-crisis?

This gent wishes to run for Chairmanship of KANU, and I back him 100%. Even if he fails to honour all his promises the one he has no option but to see through is to bring colour to the party!

Bush. CIA. Osama. Bomb. Al Qaeda. Saddam Hussein. Chemical Ali. Bowling Ali. Dimly Lit Ali. Dead End Ali.