Plot:
An army band is marching as we see the credits roll. Ah, Tomas Tang, we meet again… A ninja enters a dark tunnel and fights another ninja. It seems 1 ninja is
doing a weapons kata. But, the ninja they were fighting has disappeared. So, I’m not sure if they were fighting or not. Note: this won’t be the last thing that is
confusing in this movie.
Fear my NINJA skills.
The infamous Red Ninja is doing some Tai-Chi surrounded by his student ninjas clad in black. They are watching a robbery on television, while, Red Ninja, huffing
away on a cigarette. Police exit their cars. The robbers have several hostages. The ninjas keep paying rapt attention to this.
The masked robbers are surrounded by cops. A gunfight breaks out, resulting in the deaths of most of the robbers. Back on the television, Red Ninja seems
pleased by what has happened and turns the TV off.
Cops plan their next move and congratulate Jay on handling the robbery. Think ninjas were behind it somehow. The ninjas are running out of Thailand. The plan is
for Jay to go undercover and destroy the ninjas. But, international drug agent, Richard Jones will aid Jay, too. The ninjas have a big drug shipment arriving
soon. The police know this from their informant, Steven Hays.
For some reason, the air force jumps into action. Jets takeoff and order a plane to land. Military forces are ready as the drug plane lands. The drug guys rush out
of the plane. A gunfight ensues, mowing down most of the drug men. The military checks the plane finding the cache of drugs.
Red Ninja is angry. He blames one of the numerous black clad ninjas for the loss of the drugs. The ninja is ashamed. Red Ninja realizes there is an
informant. It’s Ninja 18’s ex-boyfriend Steve. Let me derail the point. All of the black clad ninjas look male. You never see Ninja 18 as a female in the same shot
with Red Ninja.
Some guy who quickly leaves the movie and Susan is celebrating her graduation with coke bottle glasses boy, Steve. Steve will take care of Susan. He has this
creepy look on her face as he will look after her.
Red Ninja accuses Ninja 18 of still being with Steve. She will face a painful death for revealing ninja secrets. Ninja 18 claims she’s innocent. She offers to kill
Steve to prove she isn’t passing him information. This seems to make all of the ninjas happy.
On a plane, a pilot tells her again to kill Steve. Ninja 18 jumps from the plane as stock parachute footage ensues.
Steve is meditating in a martial arts school as Ninja 18 skulks about. Steve grabs his sword, fights her. He loses his sword. She loses her sword. They keep
fighting as the police arrive, including Jay. Ninja 18 hides. Steve leads Jay to her who doesn’t answer his questions. Jay draws a gun on Ninja 18. Steve helps her to
escape, won’t inform anymore if she’s hurt.
Red Ninja learns than Steve is actually the informer and that Ninja 18 failed. He’ll send some ninjas to Bangkok to begin terrorist activities to distract the police.
Ninja 18 breaks in and fights Steve again. She manages to escape, again.
Guards are patrolling as ninjas sneak past them. The ninjas kill the guards. In the mansion, a butler is drinking refreshments to some guy with several naked
chicks. The ninja walks in kills the guy. The cops rush to the scene, Jay wonders who killed the Defense Minister.
Steve dismisses his karate class when Jay arrives. He shows Steve something.
A car pulls up with Steve. Susan is introduced to Steve’s sister Jane. Susan wants to know what is going on and is told about the ninjas.
In a movie theater, a briefcase is left. The cops arrive; a bomb is in the theater. The bomb is defused by an explosive expert. The police find a witness,
Susan? The bomb is taken out and is going to be driven away. She spots the guy who delivered the bomb who triggers the remote detonator. The bomb guy manages
to escape.
Red Ninja knows a drug agent will be sent to fight them. Ninja 7 is ordered to kill Richard.
We reach, the half hour mark, and are finally introduced to our streetwise drug agent Richard. He is pulled over in his car. A ninja tries to assassinate him. Ninja
7 appears in his ninja regalia after a puff of smoke obscures him for 3 seconds. He chases after Richard and on top of his car. Richard is able to shoot Ninja 7 and
runs over him repeatedly.
Narcoleptic Ninjas on dirt roads lead to a terrible accident.
Like an episode of the Dukes of Hazzard, a ninja is shooting dynamite arrows at Richard’s car. He manages to blow it up. Later, Richard is running
around without a shirt on fighting a gardener with hedge clippers as a ninja watches.
Red Ninja learns of the failed attempts to kill Richard. He shoots a flaming cigarette at one of the ninjas who plead for mercy. The ninja catches fire and
dies. Red Ninja will have a special ninja take care of Richard.
Patrick Bergin Dude, I think he is called Karl, is escorted through the airport. He is followed. A car chase ensues. PB Dude’s Chick, Annette I think, kills one
of the followers.
Jay is told of the killed agents. Either ninjas are after Richard or have a big drug deal soon.
PB Dude and Annette will handle the drug deal for the ninjas. The guys think that Annette is worthless as a fighter. She beats several guys showing her fighting
skills.
The military prepare to fight the ninjas. Yes, Armed Forces versus Ninjas. Not quite as good as Mafia Versus Ninja. Jay meets with an army
officer. The police need their help. He meets with a naval officer next. Military preparation music ensues.
Steve is at his house. We learn that his dad started the ninja organization as a force for good. But, it has been corrupted by Master Si, Red Ninja. Steve will
restore honor to the ninja.
Some guy and Annette get into a fight. Suckin’ face ensues until PB Dude shows up and has Annette quit acting so skankish.
Susan meets with Steve. She leaves and he follows her. Several armed guys capture them. A gunfight ensues. Jay had Steve under surveillance. Ninjas know
that Steve is the informer. The police need Steve to catch the ninjas.
Richard is in a garden. Several ninjas follow him. A fight breaks out and Richard quickly kills the ninjas.
A ship is watched by the navy and the police. Cops believe that the ship is involved with a drug deal. At a nearby hotel, the police watch a couple frolicking in the
pool. It is Steve and Susan. We hear a muzak version of “I’m Only Human” by the Human League. I’m not sure which is worse a muzak version or the fact I
recognize the song.
A truck comes to a stop. Guys sneak in someplace, break into Steve’s house. Steve, Jane, and Susan are fighting them off. Jane and Susan try to head out but
are caught. Susan is killed. We get a slow-motion fight between Jane and Susan’s killer. Steve is fighting elsewhere. He cradles Susan’s dead body. Well, her
death was the price for them to escape this movie.
A roadblock crew is mowed down by PB Dude’s men.
The cops know that a bid drug deal is going down. Jay activates Plan 2, the plan that has nothing to do with his movie and will enable more footage from other
movies to be unleashed.
PB Dude is on the tanker that was being watched earlier. A fishing boat approaches them. Jay is on the fishing boat and is told of the gangsters on the tanker.
Somehow, the gangsters find the police informant and tie him up. Some chick is skulking about. Don’t remember seeing her before.
Some of the police prepare diving equipment. However, others ready to scale the side of the tanker. They manage to infiltrate the tanker.
Jimmy, the informant, is tied up in the engine room. Chick finds and helps Jimmy escape. The ship has multiple bombs planted by PB Dude.
A helicopter approaches, so the gunfight and confusing explosions occur. A guy parachutes from the copter as the fight continues.
The police rush someplace. Some guys come ashore and ride off on some hidden motorcycles. They jump a roadblock.
Back on the tanker, they decide to search for the detonator rather than the bombs. Miraculously, they find the detonator in time.
PB Dude and the others get to the drugs.
Do you get the idea I’m not sure what’s going on in this movie? The police are staking somewhere out.
Some men paddle ashore.
The guys try ripping off PB Dude. A fight breaks out. Annette and PB Dude manage to escape. Cops swarm the warehouse. A major gunfight breaks out.
Chick and Jimmy and others I don’t recognize arrive. Gangster runs off after shooting a cop but becomes very sacred as a result, very holy.
The gangster that tried ripping off PB Dude is trying to kill him. Chick manages to shoot the guy, who dying shoots her. PB Dude escapes with Jimmy chasing
after him.
The police are still clearing the place out. PB Dude steals a police uniform as cops are gunning down the gangsters. Annette is ordered to surrender, shoots the
cop. But, she does a decent impression Swiss cheese momentarily.
Jay arrives and finds the drugs. He actually mentions that everything is up to Richard to defeat the ninjas in the other movie.
Red Ninja has the drugs packed to be taken with them.
We get some random helicopters and tanks heading into the field. We can see a number of ninjas hiding in the woods away from the tanks, etc… The ninjas let
them pass. The tanks head into battle, as Richard watches the carnage.
Soldiers leave the tanks to gun down ninjas. We see several explosions throwing ninjas through the air.
Richard learns the Red Ninja has escaped. He does a few hand motions. A cloud of smoke appears and vanishes and the Yellow Ninja is there in Richard’s
place.
Now you see a goofy white guy... |
Now you see a fearsome ninja!!! |
Richard has transformed himself into the fearsome
Yellow Ninja.
A car drives away with Red Ninja and his student Black Ninjas. Somehow, the car’s tire has gotten stuck. The ninjas get out of the car to push the car free. If
you ever wanted to see ninjas pushing a car out of a hole, this is your only chance. Yellow Ninja grabs one of the ninjas. The remaining ninjas search for him.
One of the ninjas is caught in a tree snare. I thought ninjas were supposed to be sneaky enough not to fall for a snare a cub scout could make.
Yellow Ninja opens up with a barrage of throwing stars, before opening up with his katana.
Hey, guys quit laughing, it was my only clean ninja suit...
Yellow Ninja approaches the car, stabbing the ground. Somehow, Red Ninja has buried himself underground. Yes, ninjas can dig into the ground like a mole.
Yellow Ninja is fighting and dodging the Red Ninja’s attack. He also has to dodge the snared ninja using throwing stars.
Red Ninja and Yellow Ninja are fighting, circling each other. They are jumping around like you’d expect ninjas would. Yellow manages to cut off Red’s
hand. Red is about to use a throwing star.
Yellow has some kind of wrist projectile weapon to use, killing the Red Ninja. Yellow goes through the hand motions again to turn back into Richard.
Richard hears a frog ribbit. The Red Ninja is gone. He tries grabbing the frog which somehow multiplies from 1 to 2 to 4 to 8. Richard is freaked out by this
and thinks it’s too weird. He walks off using his radio to say the case is over.
