Sizzling Saucer Lady's List of Trouble Makers


Adversaries

Metalspork, Tyrtlepower, Cricket Jocks,
Synchronized Swimmers, and Gina The Head Cheerleader

Those people or groups that oppose the existance of the Sizzling Saucer Lady and contest her residency on Earth. However, they are very tricky and sometimes appear to be good friends with the alien, especially when they need to borrow an eraser, a brain, or the *Nsync CD. Sizzling Saucer Lady actually likes her adversaries and wishes that they didn't enjoy hating her so much.


Metalspork

Also known as
eccentricparanoidandroid spice

image from The Spork Page, a site slightly unrelated to metalspork
© The Spork Page

motto: Less Mess! Use a Metalspork
war cry: Lets Chow!
purpose: part spoon, part fork
what could be better utensil?
strengths: secret metal alloy
weaknesses: Generally: Wet Wipes
Specifically: Garden Gnombs
best friend: Swiss Army Knife
nemesis: PlasticSpork and Foon
what to do if you see Metalspork: use as instructed
The Sizzling Saucer Lady rationalizes the Metalspork: Follow the motto. Less utensils to wash the better. I don't need my hands to look like prunes this early in life.
What Metalspork Says About The Sizzling Saucer Lady: To use a plate (or saucer as the case may be) one needs utensils. Next time make it a metalspork.

Learn more at the Metalspork site.

OTHER SPORK SITES:
The Slightly Less Than Official Spork Page | The Spork Page
FAQ - The Spork | Church of The Spork | Imperial Spork Army | AND Sporkitsu

Please don't confuse metalspork with silverspork.


Tyrtlepower

motto: Cowabunga
war cry: COWABUNGA!!
purpose: to be a lean mean martial arts machine in a muntant ninja turtle body
strengths: red headband
weaknesses: grew up in the sewers, therefore not much bothers Tyrtlepower, except maybe Jumbo Shrimp & mattress tags
best friend: tyrtlepower jr.
what to do if you see Tyrlepower: run for the hills
The Sizzling Saucer Lady rationalizes the Tyrlepower: a mutant turtle-practicing ninja — how does one rationalize that?
What Tyrlepower Says About The Sizzling Saucer Lady: I will destroy this evil alien.
What Tyrlepower Says About Nasty Things About Sizzling Saucer Lady: Cursed SSL!! I don't know why you all think the SSL is ssooo cool!! She's not all she's cracked up to be anyway. I did have to save her butt from the Evil Pham Monster, ya know!!! -- from the old guestbook, June 14, 2000
Find out more at the Mutant Ninja Turtles site.


Cricket Jocks

Cricket Jocks


The sport known as Cricket seems to breed adversaries for the Sizzling Saucer Lady. Just look at vocabulary of Cricket terms at the The Devil's Dictionary of Cricket. While the Sizzling Saucer Lady may know "The Cabbage Patch" as a popular, if a little silly, 1980s dance, in cricket, the "Cabbage Patch" is an under-prepared, uneven pitch on which the ball behaves unpredictably, making batting very difficult in cricket. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Who knows? Who Cares? And with other terminology such as "Good Length" and "Penetration", you know the athletes in this field aren't playing just another ball and bat game.


Synchronized Swimmers



They're not just swimmers. They're synchronized swimmers. Things and people are constantly being metaphorically compared to "the grace and charm of synchronized swimmers." Water ballet? Underwater dancing? Choreographed movements? This is a sport? This is a field of athletic excellence? No! Say it ain't so!

Synchro Battles Images
University of Michigan's Team prepares...Yawn!

History of Sychronized Swimming
Sychronized Swimming Propoganda!


Gina
The Head Cheerleader



RA RA RA SIS BOOM BA   Fancy Chants. Skirts designed to show off assets. Dance routines choreographed to the beat. All this to get an audience to cheer for the team. Cheerleaders are at worst annoying. However, Gina the EVIL Head Cheerleader for the Adversarial Team Against Sizzling Saucer Lady (ATASSL) is the one to watch out for. She will stop at nothing to cheer on her team, even at the expense of audience and entertainment. Beware of this Adversary.


I believe following quotes from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode titled "The Witch" gives a good overview to why cheerleading can be dangerous:

Giles: This is madness! What can you have been thinking? You are the Slayer! Lives depend upon you! I make allowances for your youth, but I expect a certain amount of responsibility, and instead of which you enslave yourself to this, this... cult?!
Buffy, wearing a cheerleader outfit: You don't like the color?

Xander: Ooo, stretchy! Where was I?
Willow: You were pretending that seeing scantily clad girls in revealing postures was a spiritual experience.
Xander: Who said I was pretending?

Cordelia: I have a dream. It's me on the cheerleading squad, adored by every varsity male as far as the eye can see! We have to achieve our dreams, Amy. Otherwise we wither and die!

Amy, on not being a cheerleader: Well, I know that I'll miss the intellectual thrill of spelling out words with my arms.


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Please note: At one point in the past, due to an accident during a site upgrade, I lost the information for Sychronized Swimmers & Gina the Head Cheerleader. I have rebuilt these sections; however, the originals are gone and forgotten.
As of: Jul 19, 2002 [Gina the Head Cheerleader]
As of: Jan 17, 2002 [Sychronized Swimmers]

First noted: August 2, 2001


Formated Oct 03, 2002
Updated: Jul 19, 2002