"TEARS OF DECEIT" by Sarah Ryniker

STORY LAST UPDATED ON 09/04/2003

Tears of Deceit Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Epilogue

CHAPTER FOUR: THE HARSH TRUTH

As the car pulled up in front of the house, it loomed ominously in front of me. I was convinced, from the beginning, that something would go wrong. But, like all things, I didn't know what I was expecting. Yet most times, whenever I was expecting something to happen, something did happen. And most of those times, it wasn't something good.
    Kassy was indifferent about being "home". I just couldn't imagine her making some other place her home. She didn't seem to have the mentality to make a home, much less be a mother. But, as Father said, that wasn't for me to decide. I would just be here to help her have her child.
    Allen came out the second we stepped from within the shell of the car. I felt safer inside of the car immediately, and wanted to turn back and get in. Any feelings of safety flew away the second the car left to go back home, leaving our things lying on the ground. Kingsman must have felt it, too, because he had left quickly, without so much as a glance good-bye. Not that I expected one, anyway.
    "What is going on? Why are you back?" He seemed shocked, as if he'd wanted her to stay over at the house until she had the baby.
    "Didn't my father call you?" I asked, my voice rude and not holding back any annoyance I felt for him. When he shook his head, I shrugged. "Well, you'd better get somebody out here to get these bags. I'll be staying here until the baby is born."
    I walked away before he could say anything. I knew that he would obey what I had to say. For some reason, he seemed to fear me in a way. No, it wasn't fear he felt. It was intimidation. I was the sort of girl that never took no for an answer and did as she well pleased. It was a trait in myself I rather liked.
    Kassy followed beside me, acting as if she'd never been here before. I frowned with annoyance. "Kassy, this is your home. Don't act like you've never been here. This is where you will raise your baby and future babies."
    She just looked at me as if I were the mentally ill one. I shrugged, and then let out a frustrated cry. Why couldn't she just seem to understand that she was an adult, not a child? Why did she always look at me stupidly, as if she didn't understand English? It frustrated me in every way possible.
    Then, something clicked inside of her, and she turned to where Allen stood in the doorway, still looking confused. "Allen! I missed you so!" she cried, and ran to him. He hugged her, but peered at me over her shoulder. She pulled back and looked at him. "Is something wrong, darling?"
    I was honestly amazed. I had never, in my entire life, seen my sister act like an actual adult. My mouth was open in absolute astonishment. This wasn't the child that I knew so well. This, in front of my very eyes, was a woman I'd never met before. It made me wonder exactly what I was doing here. Did she really need me?
    "Nothing, dear. Why don't you go rest upstairs?" He smiled at her tightly, and she nodded with a smile. She passed me with something in her eyes I'd never recognised. And I was sure that I spotted something there that told me that she knew exactly what she was doing.
    After Kassy left the room, Allen attacked. "What the Hell is going on? She is acting perfectly normal today, where as last night she was acting like a mad woman!"
    "Perfectly normal?" I cried out. "That is the woman you see and know? I've never seen her before in my life!"
    He looked at me, honestly confused. "I don't understand her outbursts or her strange episodes. But I most certainly have never met any other Kassy."
    I shook my head, still shocked and amazed. "You're lucky, then. After all, the only Kassy that I know is a child mental case that I've been caring for the better part of my life."
    "What are you doing here, anyway? I don't need you to look after my wife. We have servants for that." I could see that his feelings for me were mutual. He didn't want me in his home.
    "Well, you see, I have a feeling that you'll be meeting the Kassy I know during this pregnancy." I began slipping off the leather gloves that fit tightly to my hands. It was a rather chilly winter here in Carmel. "I never guessed at it before, nor questioned it. However, now I'm not sure if she does it for attention or because she really is crazy. But for your child's sake I wouldn't worry about what it is. You need me to keep that heir of yours alive. Because, to be honest, I don't think Kassy cares if she has that baby dead or alive."
    It was one thing I knew that Allen cared about. He wanted that child of his alive. Where as, just as I told him, I wasn't near positive that Kassy gave a damn. She acted like the pregnancy didn't exist at all. Oh, how confusing my sister was to me.
    The rest of the day and that evening, I still didn't know the woman going about the house. I didn't know the woman associating with her husband. And she acted as if she didn't know me either. In fact, several times she even asked Allen who I was. Allen would continuously pat her hand, and tell her that I was simply a young nurse helping take care of her during her pregnancy.
    And while Kassy was the woman, she knew she was pregnant and couldn't wait to get started on decorating the nursery, hiring a nanny, going to the doctor, discussing baby names with her husband. She was so different than the child that I knew so well. And it gave me chills every time I thought about it. How could she change so drastically? Besides, I wasn't quite sure that I liked Kassy the woman. She was snobby, and looked down on me as if hired help was below her. And I wasn't even hired help, even if she did think that I was.
    It was difficult to get Kassy to her doctor's appointment. Allen was at work, a job that my father had given him with his certain law firm. My father had decided to become a lawyer, even though he hadn't any need for money. He had inherited millions from my grandfather, who'd worked as a candy salesman. I hadn't thought candy could make so much, but evidently it did. I always wondered about the candy business, but my father kept it all from us. I knew that he still kept an eye on it, however.
    Anyhow, with Allen away, Kassy the child came out to "play". Though I wasn't even remotely amused by it all. It took about three of their servants and I to drag her out to the car. It took an hour, but finally we got in the car. I could only imagine how she would act when she saw the doctor.
    "Now, Kassy, you must see the doctor so that your baby can be taken care of while it's inside of you," I told her as we sat in the waiting room. I was considerably shocked that I'd even got her in there.
    Seeing that I had already explained things to the doctor and the nurse about Kassy and her situation, we got back quickly. It seemed that he wanted to see her immediately. Anything she did could possibly harm her child. And I had thought that she had been difficult to care for before.
    Dr Mazden was an incredible doctor. He hardly paid any attention to me as he took care of Kassy. Somehow, he kept her calm and cooperative. I was truly in awe. How could anyone have control over my sister that way? I was the one that she listened to all of the time, and I had a hard enough time getting her to listen.
    When he was finished with his exam, he pulled me out into the hall. "Your sister is just about seven weeks along," he told me. "She is going to need extra special care, especially considering that, as you told me, half the time she doesn't understand that she is pregnant. Just keep a good watch over her."
    I nodded my understanding, but as I made her next appointment I felt my nerves ticking. How could I go another thirty-three weeks dealing with her? She changed her personality so much when she was around Allen. I feared that her need for attention from me could possibly make her harm herself and her child. Taking care of her now was going to be even more of a task. And I wasn't positive that I was ready for it.
    When we got her home, Allen was there for a lunch break. He was just going back to work as we pulled up. I decided that she was as much his responsibility as mine. Whether or not she acted a child around him, he needed to keep a close watch on her as well. I got out of the car, slamming the door and running to catch him.
    "Allen, Kassy is seven weeks pregnant," I began as I came up to him. "The doctor said that we need to keep a good watch on her for the next thirty-three weeks."
    He smiled. "That's what you're here for, Felicity. You're sort of her free nanny. Seeing that you're her sister, I don't have to pay you while you watch over her. Isn't that great?" He laughed as he continued, uncaringly, to his car.
    I let out a frustrated cry and followed him to his car. "What is it with you? You don't love her, so why did you even marry her?"
    "For you," he said, as he got into the luxurious silver Mercedes. When I looked confused, he simply shrugged. "I was in debt, your father felt bad for how you were constantly taking care of your sister and so he is paying me to be with her."
    "My father is paying you?" I felt all of the blood drain to my feet. How could he ever do anything like this?
    He shrugged. "Yeah. Too bad you still feel the need to mother her, huh? You could be having your freedom right now." He shut the door and drove off before I could say anything.
    Not that I could, anyway. My feet were nailed there, and my mouth felt as if I would surely never be able to shut it again. I was frozen. It took a few minutes before the full realisation of it all hit. My father had paid someone to marry his crazy daughter so his other daughter could have a normal life. He had done it for me. But hadn't he realised how cruel it was?
    I walked into the house, slowly. Kassy had already gone inside and up to bed. She had been complaining of being tired all day long. I was glad she had gone to bed. It gave me time to sit and think about things. As I sat in the library thinking, I decided that calling my father was a must.
    I waited for an hour before my father's secretary finally found him. My call was sent to his cell phone, and I waited while it rang. When he answered it, I let out a big sigh. "How could you do it, Father?" I asked, so sadly I was sure I could cry at any moment. "How could you pay Allen off to marry Kassy?"
    I heard him sigh on the other line, and I imagined him looking out of his window as he drove along. He often did that when he was thinking. "How did you find out, Felicity?" he asked me instead of answering.
    "Does it really matter? All that matters is that I know. And how could you do that? Now Kassy is doomed to live her life with a man that doesn't love or appreciate her. He has no interest in taking care of her. Didn't you know that?" I felt drained and empty. Did I really know anyone in my family?
    "Oh, Felicity, you and I both know she'll never really understand that her husband doesn't love her," he said, making my heart break more.
    "How do you know that?" I asked. "How do you know that deep down inside she doesn't feel the hurt and pain any woman would feel knowing that her marriage is meaningless and she isn't loved?"
    "I don't. But I would take a wild guess at it. She seems too" - he paused for a moment, and sighed - "she seems too stupid."
    "She's not stupid!" I yelled into the phone before slamming it back down. I broke into tears the moment the receiver hit. I curled up in a little ball in the chair and cried. I hadn't realised the cruelty my father could show. But what else could I expect from a man that I didn't even know?
    He said that he did it for me, but I didn't believe him. He knew how much I loved Kassy, no matter what the responsibility she put on my shoulders. I could never imagine getting rid of her just so I could be "normal". Was it that my father just didn't know me so much that he didn't realise that with or with Kassy, now I would never be normal? Or was it he just wanted to get rid of her because he hated to be reminded that his beautiful, precious wife could ever have given birth to something so imperfect?
    I cried my tears for Kassy. I cried because, somehow, it was my fault that she was here and not at home. Whether or not it was true, it was being blamed on me. And it wasn't being done out of the goodness of someone's heart, either. But what did it matter to anyone? Kassy was a common idiot, no more than that. She wouldn't know love if it hit her in the face.
    But everyone knew love, whether they were crazy, stupid or "normal". And Kassy knew that she wasn't loved. I even sometimes saw her staring at her husband, the hope in her eyes so brilliant it seemed to shine. She wanted so much for him to love her. But I knew Allen wasn't capable of love.
    If only Kassy knew that it was her father's fault… Would she make a miraculous recovery and feel hatred for her father? Would she somehow hate me? I knew that I would never tell her. But if she did find out, and Father found that he was wrong, was he capable of guilt?

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