A beautiful, young blonde, about 21, went to a doctor and asked for a check-up. The doctor claimed that he had to use a thermometer for the check-up.
So the doctor asked her, "Where shall I put the thermometer?"
The girl replied, "...uh ...not in my mouth, Doc. I might swallow it."
"Okay...let's try your armpit." the doctor suggested.
"Well, it might tickle me, Doc. How about my butt?" the girl queried.
"Okay then," so he put the thing in.
Later, the girl, while giggling, exclaimed, "that's not my butt, Doc!"
The doctor replied, "That's okay dear... it's not the thermometer, either."

The young blonde was describing her evening's exploits to a friend.
"After dinner," she said, "he wanted to come back to my apartment, but I refused. I told him my mother would worry if I did anything like that."
"That was smart," her friend said, approvingly. "Then what happened?"
"He kept insisting, and I kept refusing," the secretary said.
"You didn't weaken your resolve did you?" asked the friend.
"Not one bit. In the end, we went to his apartment. I figured, let HIS mother worry..."

A blonde student nurse was observed lying in bed with a patient. When questioned about it, she responded,
"I was told to take the patient's blood pressure standing up and laying down"

A blond woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray...
"God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Brandi again prays...
God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well." Lotto night comes and Brandi still has no luck. Once again, she prays...
"My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Brandi is confronted by the voice of God Himself...
"Brandi, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a damn ticket."

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said,
"I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."
The milkman asked, "Pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No. Just up to my breasts."

A young blonde women from a large city that had never been out of the city ,met and fell in love with a country gentleman. The country gentleman was a very prosperous farmer. The city woman became madly in love with the Farmer and the farmer was very happy to have such a nice gentle woman. They married and went to the country, on the farm to live. The woman was amazed at all the "strange" animals that roamed the farm, chickens, cows, pigs and so on. All this was new to the city woman.
One day a circus came to a nearby town and set up the tent. As the roustabouts were setting up the tent the elephant escaped. Finding the elephant proved fruitless.
One morning the new farm wife was doing the breakfast dishes and look out the window and saw the elephant in her garden. She rushed to the phone and called the sheriff,
"sheriff, sheriff, there's a strange animal in my garden and pulling out my vegetables with it's tail.
The sheriff asks" what is the animal doing with the vegetables" and the wife answers
"you wouldn't believe me if I told you" <

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and is very excited and tense. As soon as she boards the plane, a Boeing747, she starts jumping in excitement, running from seat to seat shouting "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! "
She is very loud; even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "BE SILENT!"
There is pin-drop silence everywhere and everyone is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stares at the pilot in silence for a moment and all of a sudden starts shouting,
"OEING! OEING!! OEING!!! '.

After a complete physical exam, the doctor commented to his blonde female patient, "I can't explain it but your right breast is three times longer than your left one."
She blushed and explained, "My husband loves to sleep with my right breast in his mouth."
"As a matter of fact, I like to sleep the same way with my wife but both of her breasts are of normal size," the doctor remarked.
"Well then, I guess you two don't happen to have twin beds!"