Some say it is super
Some say it is silly
We hear it works great
for a limp-acting Willie
You've heard no doubt
Of a starch called Niagara
We found out by chance
It's what's contained in Viagara
At ten dollars a pop
This seems like a buy
But can you suggest it
To your impotent guy?
It's side effects aren't charted
It may be too iffy
But what some men won't do
For a good old-fashioned stiffy

Valentine poem from the romantic kind of guy:

May you live as long as you want to;
May you want to as long as you live.
If I'm asleep when you want to, wake me;
If I'm awake and don't want to, make me.

Here's to you, I'm glad that I metcha,
And now that I met you, I'm glad that I letcha,
And now that I letcha, I betcha
I'd letcha again.

Here's to the drink that creates fire,
Here's to the drink that creates desire.
Not the kind that burns down shanties,
But the kind that burns down panties.

Here's to the qirl in the little red shoes,
She drinks my liquor, she drinks my booze.
She has no cherry but that's no sin,
She has the box the cherry came in.

Here's to the girl dressed in black,
She's dressed so fine, there's nothing to slack.
She feels so fine and kisses so sweet,
She makes things stand, that have no feet.

Here's to an hour of sweet repose,
Tummy to tummy and toes to toes,
Then after an hour of such delight,
It's fanny to fanny for the rest of the night.

Now that I'm old and feeble,
And pilot light is out;
What used to be my sex appeal is now my waterspout.
I used to be embarrassed to make the thing behave,
For every single morning it would stand and watch me shave.
But now I'm getting old and it gives me the blues,
To have the thing hang down and watch me tie my shoes.

God made little boys, made them out of string,
He had a little left, made a little thing.
God made little girls, made them out of lace,
He ran a little short, and left a little space.
*Happy Valentines Day, Honey, I love you!

And the NOT so romantic guy::

Hearts and roses and kisses galore...
What the hell is all that shit for?
People get mushy and start acting queer
It is definitely the most annoying day of the year
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear only black for the rest of the week
Guys act all sweet, but it soon will fade
For all they are doing is trying to get laid
The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit
Because I think love is a crock of shit
So here's my story...what else can I say?
Love bites my ass...
Fuck Valentines Day!

Limericks

There once was a woman from Latch,
Who jacked herself off with a match.
She got so excited,
The damn thing ignited,
And burnt all the hair off her snatch

*************************

There once was a man named Fred,
He was in search of getting head.
He went to Dallas,
And found a Pussy Palace,
And settled for that instead!!

***************************

There was a young fellow from Yale,
Whose face was exceedingly pale...
He spent his vacation,
In self-masturbation,
Because of the high price of tail

**************************

The sea captain's tender young bride
Fell into the bay at low tide,
You could tell by her squeals,
That some of the eels,
Had discovered a dark place to hide.

****************************

A strange young fellow from Leeds
Rashly swallowed a package of seeds.
Great tufts of fine grass
Sprouted out of his ass
And his balls were covered with weeds.