| Lang Parker |
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| CORY KAHANEY DAT PHAN GEOFF BROWN ROB CANTRELL SEAN KENT DAVE MORDAL RALPHIE MAY RICH VOS TERE JOYCE TESS DRAKE |
| THE SEARCH FOR THE FUNNIEST PERSON IN AMERICA |
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| Auditions Did you ever get mistaken as being a lesbian? You know, actually in Winsconsin I'm a petite. Oh yeah, yeah. I can barely tip a cow. But next week I got myself a date with a oh-bud-um. So I figure, you know what, I better buy some frilly crap at Victoria's Secret, you know. And it's not easy to get the sales lady attention either. Hey sales lady come here! She comes trolloping over like LasSie in heat. Hi, I'm Betti with an I! Keep talking like that your going to be a Betti with a black eye. Semi-Finals Have you ever takin a walk down Las Vegas Boulevard and a tourist approaches you and says, excuse me. This is our first time we're here in Vegas and my wife and I wanna know... are you a lesbian? No, I'm not a lesbian. I'm from Winsconsin. You know, actually in Winsconsin I'm a fefe chick. Ya, when I go home to a Winsconsin breakfast of crispy bacon, thick sausage, lard basted eggs, pre-buttered toast, homemade donuts, porterhouse steak and I'm the only one in the family that can't finish the toast. And my father says, oh, what are they feedin' ya out there in California that you can't finish the gosh darn toast. Dad! Look at this. The whole family is gonna die from Cholesterol. Die of Cholesterol? I don't have a Cholesterol problem. I'm on Lipitor. I'm Lang Parker. Thank you. |