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Reviews For Feb. 4- Feb. 11

name = Charilette Rai Sweeney
Submission_author = Hunted by Eric Rodriguez
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = The Hunted or The Haunted? Either title would have adequately described this dark psychological study of guilt and self-inflicted torment. Eric's words vividly and agressively draw the reader into the story so that one feels as thought they are actually standing there at dusk with the characters: "A mist began to close around them, like a pack of wolves surrounding their prey." Eric's decision to stay clear of the gun controversy was beneficial to the story. Any moral judgments passed for either side would have only misdirected the reader from the true subject of the story.

name = Cindy Sorburn
Poem_author = I Knew By The Light Of The Moon by Emily Janiak
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = I didn't know whether I should cry or be happy. This is such a sentimental poem that takes me back to my good times with my parents and grandparents. Very good- as good as I've read for a long time.

name = Dolores O'Scott
Poem_author = On The Wings Of The Angels by Alice Bateman
Points = 4 points
opinion of the poem and author = Alice has made an oddly hidden story out of her friend's loss. I understand the pain and shock. I understand how she wants to make her pal feel better. What I don't understand was how this child (im asuming) died. I believe that this was to be an important part of the tale. I enjoyed the stocky bubble of this poem without needing to scramble for the rhym. In all of my years, I have seen many things. This poem is mysterious and leaves me yearning for a more detailed version. I commend Alice, for she has managed to make me sympathetic while making me curious for more info. I have to give this poem four out of five, because it was so well written, but in a true critique, nothing is ever perfect. another excellent work, Alice. You are very talented, dear.

name = Nathan Black
Submission_author = The Spark by Janelle Zimmerman
Points = 3 points
opinion of the submission and author = I enjoyed this piece, since I used to be part of a marching band. I don't think "the spark" is unique to your band, as you suggest, and if it is you shouldn't be telling the world about it on the Internet! Good writing is something everybody can identify with...even the football player that wouldn't give a "band dork" the time of day. I enjoy your style, though...very forthright and concise.

name = Kathy Barstow
Story_author = Left Behind by Bruce Longman
Points = 5 points
opinion of the story and author = Another excellent piece from Bruce Longman - he's not afraid to explore new ideas and strange thoughts - as always, a pleasure to read

name = Kathy Barstow
Story_author = The Short Cut by Bruce Longman
Points = 5 points
opinion of the story and author = I'm glad Bruce is an active writer - you never know what to expect next from him - it's hard for an active, healthy person to get inside the mind of someone like the narrator of this story - great job (again!)

name = Derek Bracer
Submission_author = My Trip To The Bridge by Janelle Zimmerman
Points = 4 points
opinion of the submission and author = When I first looked at it I nearly went to another story- all one paragraph. Then, as I read it I understood that it was one stream of consciousness and it had to be in one paragraph. I happen to like shorter paragraphs but this story was good in just one.

name = Raye McDonald
Poem_author = I Knew By The Light Of The Moon by Emily Janiak
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = Sensitive and moving poem, Emily, and obviously from the depths of your heart. How fortunate that your family will have this lovely testimony of remembrance of your grandma. I have an idea that this poem winged its way to heaven and found its way into her heart.

name = Jerry Lewellen
Story_author = Time Out To Care by Wanda Arrington-Akorede
Points = 4 points
opinion of the story and author = I thought the story was excellent, a regular movie of the week. Grammar-wise, however, I think it needs a little revision. Watch for changes in tense. The ending needs a little revision- I had to read it three times before I was sure I understood what was going on.

name = Cindy Sorburn
Poem_author = Paradise Found by Karen Pospisil
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = A delightful image-type poem. Nicely put together

name = Donna Vines
Poem_author = Ode to Bladder Control by Karen Pospisil
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = quite a sense of humor!!! She sounds like a fun person to have around

name = Karen Henderson
Poem_author = Ode to Bladder Control by Karen Pospisil
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = how true....how true the poem is!!

name = Nathan Black
Submission_author = My Trip To The Bridge by Janelle Zimmerman
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = This is a wonderful piece--short but full of anecdotes and analogies that anyone can understand. I usually don't rate suicide stories very highly because unfortunately they're very common among teens, but this one was truly exceptional. Incidentally, if this is a true story I hope it was (or is) within your resources to find some help. If nothing else, you have a great writing career ahead of you.

name = Gloria Jean
Story_author = The Eaves-Dropper by James Morford
Points = 4 points
opinion of the story and author = The author made this chid very real to me. I could smell the whiskey and feel his fear and bewilderment. Some babies should come into the world armed for battle instead of vulnerably naked. A good read.

name = R.L. Walker
Column_author = The Coming Collision by Stu Engle
Points = 4 points
opinion of the column and author = This well-written piece appears to be an ominous warning to mankind. It brings to mind the sure fire recipe for becoming wealthy: "Invent a way for people to kill, or maim, themelves while having fun...and you just gotta get rich!" The message, for me, is not mankind's ingenuity to create a "faster track on which to run"...my concern is the motivation behind any pursuit. Almost without exception...every worthwhile idea, invention, service, or product, resulting in benefit to others, had its beginnings hampered by skeptics, ridicule, contempt, fear, and/or envy. Because Man is a "progressive" creature there is no way to stop him from dreaming...and a "Man with a Dream"...is a powerful force. Not even an army can stop an "idea"...whose time has come. The Law of Compensation has always been proven...it has yet...to be broken. 1. The furthest thing from Thomas Edison's mind, while inventing the light bulb, was the electric chair. That horrible method of excution was a "spin-off" of Edison's positive contribution to his fellow man. 2. Dr. Oppenheimer had but one sole objective while involved in the "Manhatten Project" as he assisted in developing a single bomb capable of anihilating entire cities. And it did. Radiation treatment, for cancer, played no part in the process. That "medical miracle" was an indirect serendipity extracted from something horrible. 3. The first successful heart transplant stunned the world. Innumerable lives have been saved through it. The sale of vital organs, from late term abortion, for huge profit...is not what that doctor had in mind. And finally...technology is neutral. It is neither good, nor bad. The use of any technology is where the problem lies.

name = Jessica Sayer
Poem_author = Ode to Bladder Control by Karen Pospisil
Points = 4 points
opinion of the poem and author = I've always believed that humour is what keeps people sane but this poem here is a contradiction to that belief. Her humour is the oppisite of sane but so very funny. As always I love poems or stories that have a lesson or two, this one has one you'll have to learn sooner or later [most likely later]. Insane poem, Funny poem, Good poem.

name = Alice Bateman
Column_author = Blue Reincarnation by Yustas Kotz-Gottlieb
Points = 5 points
opinion of the column and author = Yustas, I am so very glad to see some of your work on here, to bring art to those of us who don't get enough opportunity to see it for ourselves. Very well done! I'm happy to see you. I lost your address in a computer crash months ago, please write and say hello!

name = Alice Bateman
Submission_author = My Dad's Gun by Eric Rodriguez
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = A very moving and captivating story, Eric! Very well written, I was involved from the first line to the last. The only small thing I would change is 'the paint of off...' to 'the paint from.' A very small detail in an excellent story!!!

name = Alice Bateman
Submission_author = Loose Lips by Raye McDonald
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = Raye, I always love your work, and this is excellent as usual!! Such profundity in so few words. Thanks, I'm still laughing!!! It's true, but it also struck my funny bone, which is always good!

name = Alice Bateman
Poem_author = Rambling Sanity by Chad Lilly
Points = 5 points
opinion of the poem and author = Wow, Chad, a profoundly moving poem! You have excellent insight to this crazy world of ours. And I know you don't really mean the last line 'wake me when it's over' you're one of the ones that is destined to make changes in this world.

name = Gerri
Submission_author = Me and My CFS by Beth Adair
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = Beth--well, I cried at the title alone. I, too, have CFS. (e-mail me anytime) I'm going to deal with your subject--it's so important to get the message of how "we" feel, who "we" feel we are out to society. Your poem is a great vehicle to get the word out; "we're not playing games here" (as a child should); we're hurting. You did a good job Beth, and since you have CFS I'm glad that you have the writing skills to help you deal with your CFS. If you ever care to rewrite I'd like to see you show the brutality of the disorder. I'm not sure where you are in your CFS, but as an example: I'm feeling so tired just watching my friends play basketball, I used to be team player. Only use your poetry, of course. That sort of thing--hit the reader on the head--hey, you, wake up--I'm hurtin' here--this is my experience. Thanks from me for speaking up about CFS. I'm not a child; I'm 57 and still pissed that I have this disorder. But, I'll be sweet if we talk.

name = Gerri
Story_author = 2055 by Katie Jordan
Points = 3 points
opinion of the story and author = Katie-- Writing skills are good.
But, I'm confused about your agenda, or vision. Actually, maybe that's it: are you dealing with an agenda or a vision? I get into the writing, and then you throw God at me--that was O.K., I caught him. But, he seemed to be placed in the chapter out of nowhere. I hate outlining myself, but perhaps you need an outline? I think I know the purpose of your novel. Still, you must collect your ideas. Again, I like the writing, the way you use words, use of language. It's not easy critiquing Chapter One of a novel. Keep writing, see what you have at the end. But, do see that organization of topic keeps on topic. Nice to see novels on the Village Voice. I think that your idea of what you want to write is excellent. Go for it.

name = Gerri
Submission_author = Canamo by Jim Ciccolini
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = Jim--Good piece--tight focus--some great images--esp. liked second stanza--and, what you say needs to be read.

name = Gerri
Submission_author = My Trip To The Bridge by Janelle Zimmerman
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = Jan-yes, like this piece--like image of battling armies--reads like a stream of consciousness, which I like--I read the horror of depression and rage and know it's what people need to see, what the character in your piece needs to understand, that depth of depression, the combo of rage and "I don't give a shit," that can send someone to the bridge, glad you brought your character back. An idea---underline the parts you feel most focus your piece and try to write a poem--I know, who am I? But, this is good, and I bet an excellent poem or short paragraph (prose poem) would be even stronger.

name = Gerri
Submission_author = Why by Nicole Marjore Scheet
Points = 4 points
opinion of the submission and author = Nicole--The title, "Why" throws me here. All your questions are valid. I think I expected the piece to tell me why things changed, especially when you mention Adam and Eve. So, I need to read more on the paper. Was your intent to say that we live in a hell-like situation because of our knowledge? That would make sense. Man and woman gained knowledge after God told them not to eat of the fruit, and that made humankind responsible for the hurts in this ungarden-like world. Is that it? Actually, you're making me think, which is wonderful. That's what a piece is supposed to do. keep writing.

name = Jessica Sayer
Submission_author = Canamo by Jim Ciccolini
Points = 3 points
opinion of the submission and author = I was some what confused by the title when I first took a look at this poem. I got even more confused when I started to read it. My confustion atless started to clear up by the end of the poem, I'm unsure if that was the intention of this poem or an accident. Overall I liked the poem.

name = Victoria A DuBois
Submission_author = A Loathed Enemy by Beth Adair
Points = 5 points
opinion of the submission and author = text:compelling,compassionate&concise.Beth'writing is powerful,proficient&profound.The first sentence captured my attention&her descriptive phrases held tightly throughout the text.

name = kimberly mize
Story_author = The Girl In The Rain by Miko
Points = 5 points
opinion of the story and author = This is A great Story