CRIMINAL RIVALRY
We all know that Liam and Noel weren't the best behaved kids in the world. They openly admit to teenage years filled with petty crime, mainly burglarizing items from stores & cars. Did you ever wonder how their 'mam' [Peggy] reacted to all this. Here's a transcript of what took place when a young Liam was brought home by police after spending the day pinching car stereos from all the cars at a near by parking lot.
PEGGY: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE FACT THAT, ALREADY, YOU'VE DEVELOPED A REPUTATION FOR STEALING?
LIAM: I'M INTO IT, ME. BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY I COME HOME & I GET A CLIP FROM YOU. AND I DO. YOU ALWAYS CLIP ME ROUND THE HEAD & GO, "WHAT ARE YOU LIKE, YOU LITTLE TINKER?"
PEGGY: YOU DIDN'T GET A CLIP AFTER YOU GOT CAUGHT SHOPLIFTING A SACK OF POTATOES LAST WEEKEND.
LIAM: OH YES I DID, I GET IT ALL THE TIME. YOU WHACKED ME ON THE HEAD WITH THE SACK OF POTATOES. THAT COULD CAUSE ME BRAIN DAMAGE AND A LOSS OF MEMORY.
LIAM: ...LAST WEEK YOU WHACKED ME ON THE HEAD WITH A SACK OF POTATOES. THAT COULD CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE AND A LOSS OF MEM...
PEGGY: SHUT UP LIAM, YOU ALREADY SAID THAT. YOU KNOW, PEOPLE THINK OF YOU AS A THIEF. IT'S A REPUTATION, RIGHT, THAT I...
LIAM: I LIKE THE WAY IT'S BUBBLING UP. IT'S REMINDING ME OF NOEL ALL OVER AGAIN. I LIKE THAT, ME. I WANT TO BREAK INTO 2000 CARS & GET PEOPLE REALLY PISSED AT ME. I WANT TO LIVE DANGEROUSLY...
PEGGY: WOAH. HANG ON A MINUTE. THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU'RE ON ABOUT.
LIAM: I AM.
PEGGY: YOU'RE ON ABOUT A REPUTATION, ABOUT STEALING FROM OTHERS AND GETTING IN TROUBLE. GETTING BROUGHT HOME BY THE POLICE IS NOT SUMMAT I'D BE PROUD ABOUT.
LIAM: WELL, I AM, LA.
PEGGY: ALRIGHT. WELL IF YOU'RE PROUD ABOUT GETTING BROUGHT HOME BY THE POLICE WHY DON'T YOU GO JOIN A GANG AND GET THE F**K OUT OF MY HOUSE & GO BE A CRIMINAL? YOU'RE JUST A TEENAGER, RIGHT? NOT A JUNKIE.
LIAM: YOU'RE ONLY GUTTED 'COS YOU WAS AT WORK F***IN' MAKING YOUR F***IN' LOW SALARY WHILE I MADE A FORTUNE BY STEALING STUFF.
PEGGY: NOT AT ALL. HERE'S A QUOTE FOR YOU FROM A FAMILY PSYCHIATRIST, DR. MARVIN MONROE...
LIAM: HE'S A F***IN'...'NOTHER F***IN'
PEGGY: SHUT UP, MAN! YOU THINK IT'S COOL TO STEAL. DO YOU KNOW WHAT DR. MONROE SAYS? HE SAYS, "NAH. BEING COOL IS DOING THE RIGHT THING, BEING A GOOD PERSON, COMING BACK FROM SCHOOL AND SAYING YOU ACED YOUR TEST." NOT SKIPPING SCHOOL & BREAKING INTO CARS LIKE SOME F***IN' SCOUSE SHLEPPER WITH HANDCUFFS. THAT'S FOOTBALL HOOLIGANISM, & I WON'T STAND FOR IT. AND LISTEN, YOU'RE GONNA BE GROUNDED FOR 10 DAYS.
LIAM: I'M NOT AT ALL. YOU CAN STICK THOSE 10 DAYS UP YER BUTT TILL THEY COME OUT YER BIG TOE.
PEGGY: I WON'T AT ALL & DON'T YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT.
LIAM: I'M NOT UP FOR BEING SEEN AS A BAD LAD, I'M JUST UP FOR BEING SEEN AS ME. AND WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT PARKING LOT, RIGHT, IS I HAD A FEW DRINKS, RIGHT, 'COS I LIKE DRINKING. I LOVE IT. I'M INTO IT.
PEGGY: YOU CAN'T DRINK, YOU PUNK!
LIAM: WHO CAN'T DRINK? WELL F***IN' WHY THE F**K NOT?
PEGGY: CAUSE YOU'RE ONLY 14!
LIAM: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I'M NOT SAYING I'M PROUD OF WHAT HAPPENED, BUT...WELL, ACTUALLY I'M QUITE PROUD. I MEAN, NOEL WAS THE SAME WAY. HE'D GO OUT & SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN. AND THAT'S ALL IT IS: THAT'S THE WAY WE ARE, THE WAY I AM. I ALWAYS GO OUT & STEAL SOMETHING...
PEGGY: THAT'S BULLSH*T. BULLSH*T. BULLSH*T. BULLSH*T!
LIAM: SHUT THE F**K UP. WHAT YOU'VE BEEN RANTING ON ABOUT IS BULLSH*T TO ME.
PEGGY: IF YOU THINK BEING COOL IS ABOUT BEING ARRESTED...
LIAM: BEING COOL IS ABOUT BEING YOURSELF. AND I WENT INTO THAT F***IN' PARKING LOT, I HAD TOO MUCH BEER, I STOLE SOME STUFF AND THAT WAS IT.
PEGGY: BEING COOL IS BEHAVING PROPERLY. BEHAVING PROPERLY. BEHAVING PROPERLY. BEHAVING PROPERLY. IT'S NOT ABOUT DOING WHAT IS WRONG, IT'S ABOUT DOING WHAT IS RIGHT.
LIAM: WHAT THE F**K WAS NOEL THEN?
PEGGY: WHO'S TALKING ABOUT NOEL?
LIAM: YOU ALWAYS TALK ABOUT WHAT A GREAT KID HE IS, BUT HE ALWAYS STOLE. I KNOW HE ALWAYS BROKE INTO HOUSES.
PEGGY: HE DIDN'T ALWAYS. HE ONLY BROKE INTO ONE HOUSE.
LIAM: YEAH, IT WAS SOME RICH GEEZER'S HOUSE. THAT'S WHY HE WAS SO COOL!
PEGGY: (SUPER-INDIGNANT) WHAT? 'COS HE STOLE FROM A RICH GUY! BECAUSE NOEL STOLE FROM SOME RICH GUY THAT MADE HIM COOL? F**K OFF! BULLSH*T! BULLSH*T!
LIAM: LAST WEEK YOU HIT ME ON THE HEAD WITH A SACK OF POTATOES WHICH CAN CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE & LOSS OF MEMORY
PEGGY: WHAT?! WOULD YOU STOP SAYING THAT! ...WHAT ARE YOU ABOUT LIAM?
LIAM: I'M ABOUT BEING...I'M ABOUT GOING DOWN THE F***IN'...I'M ABOUT...(PULLS STOLEN GOODS FROM HIS COAT POCKETS) THAT'S WHAT I'M ABOUT.
PEGGY: RIGHT. THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT. YOU'RE BAD LIAM, AND I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU.
LIAM: NO YOU'RE NOT. YOU'RE TRYING TO HELP YOURSELF, CAUSE I EMBARASS YOU. WELL I'M NOT GONNA CHANGE, SO YOU CAN TAKE ALL YOUR RULES AND GUIDELINES AND GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME.
PEGGY: SIT DOWN, MAN. SIT DOWN. YOU'RE GETTING INTO A STATE. YOU'VE HAD MORE G&Ts THAN YOUR TEENAGE BODY CAN TAKE. SO JUST SIT THE F**K DOWN.
LIAM: WELL, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THEN? YOU WANT ME TO BE TEETOTAL AND ALWAYS DO THE RIGHT THING?
PEGGY: YES! JUST DO THE RIGHT THING.
LIAM: AND HOW OFTEN DO I HAVE TO BEHAVE MYSELF?
PEGGY: EVERY DAY.......HOURLY.
LIAM: DO YOU HAVE ANY RECURRING DREAMS?
PEGGY: YEAH. JUST THE ONE.
LIAM: WHAT?
PEGGY: THAT YOU'LL NEVER GET IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW AGAIN.
*(Ha! Liam, not get in trouble with the law?!! That'll be the day.....)
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