Kathleen has asked me to give everyone a refresher on what happened at the Boston tea party so get out your notebooks and begin.

The Boston tea party was one of the biggest events of the year at Lady Tushingham's estate back in the early 1800's. The Tushingham estate was on the edge of Boston Harbor just next to the Real World house. Lots of Ladies and Lords and the whole thing. At this party is was a BYOT or bring your own tea, they had to do this because tea was illegal back then and they also needed to save on money, because they handed out prizes for best costume at the end of the night. So the night went on and Lady Tushingham greeted her guests one by one, conversing and seeing what everyone was wearing and just how people were drinking there tea these days. Some had tea and tonic, or tea with vodka, tea and 7-up and some had tea in there Zima's.

But Lady Tushingham was sick of the usual shit and looking for a new way to make tea so that when her relatives overseas visited they would be impressed with her creative tea skills. So the night when on and she proceeded to get tanked on vodka tea stingers, when she ran into a young, Archie Lipton sitting off in a dark parlor room with these two ceramic "coffee type" cups, each sitting separately on end tables on either side of his chair. She always had a thing for young Archie but was always afraid to do anything about it. She was hammered and feeling open and confident so she went in and sat down on the little footstool in front of Lipton's chair, and started chatting.

She explained to him she is looking for new ideas on how to make tea more exciting and different. Ah said Archie, "I have been waiting for someone to help me with my idea." "What idea is that?", she says. So Mr. Lipton takes two tea bags out of his pocket and attaches each to one of Lady Tushingham's earrings. She says, "ok now what?" He points down towards his crotch and she notices a bulge. "Is that a pocket watch in your pants"? "No",says Lipton. "I need you to bob up and down so the tea bags dip into each one of these cups on the end tables here, and I thought I might help guide your head to assist your aim, I would hate to get tea all over your nice endtables" She thought it was a nice gesture for him to care for her furniture so she unbuttons his trousers and starts bobbing up and down on his guide post for a minute or so, when suddenly the cops burst open the door! It's a tea bust! She springs off of Mr. Lipton, grabs her tea stash, and runs for the toilet to flush her tea. But she is disappointed to find the toilets are backed up because Sir Gumby of Palatine was just in there after he finished off a plate of oysters on the half shell, oh the smell.

The chase is still on and the cops are now running down the hallways after her, she makes it to the balcony where most of her guests are emptying there stashes, and hoists the tea into the harbor just as the cops grab her. She turns quickly to the cops and says, ha ha now you have no evidence and you can't do a thing to me, "PIGS." Young copper Marak says excuse me miss, than grabs a mirror, places it in front of her and says nice earrings Lady Perk-a-lot. She is devastated and embarrassed. So the cops hall her away and officer Marak gets promoted to providing security for the Real world kids next door, but he refuses the position and decides to change careers. Stealing Mr Lipton and Miss Tushinghams unique method making tea, the newly retired Marak opens his own store near Letterman's studio. Young LJ would demonstrate his method of making tea to all his male customers, revolutionizing the beverage industry and making himself thousands. LJ Marak, proud inventor of "teabagging."

Mark Metzel "american history major"