Ladies and LJ~

I received a startling letter from our dear friend Christina, from the scrumptious state of Maine, which I have never been, but word gets back from those who have and they tell me it's fascinating. In her letter she states that she has not seen any novels, as she called them, by myself lately. She also stated that she just this past week, learned how to fly a kite. Yes, you read correctly, fly a kite! Now most of us "adults" develop the necessary skills at early ages, oh perhaps 6 or 7, but some of our more "special" friends take time. I myself was a gifted child, I was walking at 9 months of age, "true fact, ask my mother," I also did not have to got to college because I am naturally smart. Just a little proof, I am now 28 years old and am reading at a 31 year old level. So I am not sure what part of Illinois Christina grew up in, but I am sure they must have had wind. You see Christina this is a key factor in kite flying.

Let me tell you a little story. In the year 1632, when Columbus blew, they sailed the ocean true. On tall vessels, or boats, to the lay person. On one of his journeys Columbus entered the Atlantic ocean and after a couple of weeks they encountered a squall, or storm. His first class semen at the time, sorry seaman, Mister Franklin was the only man above deck during this storm, it was his watch, and he noticed that the gib, or main sail, was starting to get loose in the "wind," so he decided to tie a rope around the corner loop, much like you see on shower curtains today, in incase it broke free. Well, it did brake, and he had to hold onto that rope for dear life with both hands otherwise the sail would be lost and they would be stuck out at sea for ever. So he's holding on for hours and hours all alone because the crew was all down below watching TV, when suddenly his cell phone rings, now in the sixteen hundreds cell phones were much larger than they are today and you needed two hands to hold them, so he took the rope and shoved it into his front pocket, and really packed it in there tight, he answered the phone. It was his wife Dixie, she had a problem with one of the boys at home and needed there father to scold him. He told the boy off and Dixie proceeded to buggy whip him, when suddenly a gust came over the bow and ripped the rope right out of Benny's pocket. It flew up in the air and got snagged on the hood ornament. It was an old wooden carving of a man, that kind of resembled Vince Vaughn a little, anyway old Benny hung up the phone and through the thick rain he could make out a shimmering at the end of the rope, it was the keys to his Lexus, they were in his front pocket with the rope. The sail pulled and pulled in the air, tugging at that rope and before Benny could get to the rope it gave way and flew off into the sky, climbing higher and higher, just than lightning struck the keys and set the sail ablaze, and it sprinkled down into the stormy sea, like fireworks. Thus discovering "kites." Years later Mister Franklin opened up a "sail on a rope" store in Long Grove where he would tell this story to all the customers. The store never really took off, and his part time guy who worked the register, Tommy Edison, had to go back to school that fall. After hearing Ben's story for the hundredth time Tommy wanted to try an idea for a science project and decided to take a set of keys to his uncle's glass blowing shop. He put the keys in a bottle, thus discovering the light bulb. Tommy went on to make a fortune opening Comed's all across the state and didn't finish school. As for old Ben and Dixie, they moved to the city when the boys were old enough to be on there own and opened a lamp shade shop just off of lower wacker.

So you see Christina, people have been flying kites for centuries and this method of "flying sails on a rope," has been passed down from generation to generation, but obviously it did a leapfrog right over yours. So put down that string and go do the only thing that there is to do in Maine, hang out in front of Stephen King's house.

Lovingly, Mark Metzel "historian"