I am writing you all with a few words for warn. As some of you witnessed on our Saturday night bowling night, (not Mango and Laura they weren't invited). LJ was on a mission to get me drunk. Perhaps, he was going to try and take advantage of me because his soon to be "fiance" (that's french for future wife) Kim was at school and he needed to get a little, and I do mean little, (did I just slam myself?). Perhaps he did it so I was unable to play hockey Sunday, just so he could prove to the rest of you he could win a game without my extraordinary goal scoring ability, (that makes up for the "I do mean little" comment). So I took a vow not to ever drink
again. And Sunday passed.

Monday night was a Slice night, and who shows up but one of Palatine's finest, scratch that, it was just LJ. So in he walks while Katy, myself, and Mango were playing a little darts and I was enjoying a refreshing Cola. Some time passes and Marshall followed by Laura arrive and we get a table. When out of the blue, LJ orders me a Gin and tonic, he knows I don't drink and still he forces me to drink it. We all know LJ is much bigger than I am and that I had no chance but to drink this drink right in front of him or a thrashing would have occurred. So I drank and I hated every minute of it. It felt like my head was just spinning like a top and my head just wanted to explode. I started seeing strange things, I could have sworn I saw horns coming out of LJ's head as he laughed at me from across the table. And I thought to myself, if I was bigger LJ, oh if I were bigger.

So let me warn you my friends that another night with LJ may be my last night, because at this rate there is no telling when I might have another "poisoning" incident, which could lead to my premature death, (I'm not saying I'm not mature, but well, you know what I mean) God rest my soul. If there is an investigation after my "accidental" death will one of you please submit this letter to the judge to help put this mad man behind bars. He can't get away with this. I do hope to see you all again before LJ gets a hold of me, let us pray. I love you all (even you Kristi)...

Mark Metzel, just trying to do the right thing

p.s. since I don't have a will, Kath I would like you to have my hairless ferret, Gumby my boxers, Mango all my shoes, Katy I leave you Sven, and Tommy I leave you, well, I just leave you..... peace/out