You've got your once funny prop comic, whom I have seen live on 2 occasions, Carrot Top. You've got your, stuck in a time warp black 80's tv action hero, Mr.T. And you have the scrumptious former child actor, Alyssa Milano as Eva Save-a-lot. You all, I am certain, have realized what they all have in common by this point, yes, 1-800-COLLECT "type" commercials. Let's face it, who the hell uses these frickin numbers? I think I made one collect call in my entire life, from a hotel in Arvada, Colorado in 96. That's it. I could give a shit less if I saved a buck or two because it was a 2 minute phone call. I mean, I spent more on the pop machine in the hotel than I did on that phone bill. Really, do any of you know anyone who uses these numbers when making calls? I don't. And yet we see these commercials every other commercial on every channel. When are they going to give up and say to themselves, maybe people don't call collect anymore. Since the creation of this newest and most wonderful media type that you are all using as you read, email to the lay person, I rarely even make local calls, and never long distance.

Carrot Top, who was a respectable college touring comic, has really lowered my opinion of his comedic abilities. His commercials flat out suck, and I am sure he has input on the sketches he is in. I hope he is doing it for the money, because he certainly ain't doin' it for me.

Mr. T, pity's the fool, as you may remember from his "A team" days on TV, well he is still pitying the fool nowadays. Than he battled drugs or alcohol, and was in rehab, and was in Betty Ford, literally, and finally got clean. Nowadays, same haircut, same excessive costume jewelry around the neck and hands. Even the same camoflouge pants. Wow I never had to spell camoflouge before, I am sure it's wrong, but I will skip over it during spell check just for this email, but if I got it right, let me take a moment and give my self a dat-a-boy. You may remember also that Mr. T even had his own cereal at one point in the late 80's, which was also featured in Pee-Wee Herman's big screen debut, when Pee-Wee covered his smiley face pancakes, eggs, and bacon, with the "T" shaped cereal, but only had a small bite.

Than there's Alyssa, and I can't quite figure this one out. While the other two may someday further there careers by doing Hollywood Squares, with the rest of the wash-ups, Alyssa is indeed still an A-list type actress. I grew up with Who's the Boss, and she is also just a few weeks older than I am. But after that show ended she had trouble with director's considering her for any pictures because of her "Samantha" typecast. So thank the lord, she took the only things offered to her and gave the world some of the best big screen lesbian scenes in "Poison Ivy" and some weird vampire movie where she played some clubby-slut type who was always naked. Damn good movies if I say so myself. Tommy is said to be waiting for the DVD release of both movies. Years past in Alyssa's career and more serious roles came about, but flopped at the box office, so it was back to TV, where she now has a successful show called "Charms" or some shit, I don't know I never seen it. So you see, she has come full circle, and is once again at the top of her craft, so it boggles my mind why she would sellout and do these pointless, useless, shameless, good for shit, commercials, to yet again typecast herself now as Eva Save-a-lot. So I have one thing to say to Alyssa, keep it up girl, it won't be long before your tongue is down another girls throat while your shirts off, and your hand is on her hay-nannie-na-na, in Poison Ivy part 5. Can't wait to see it.