|
Thursday, September 2 (35 weeks) I got a job! Woo hoo! And we can't afford daycare! Can you believe it? I thought we would qualify for this government childcare subsidy program, but we would make just over the income limit. The job is part-time with NIU as an accountant's assistant. I figured it would be interesting and I could learn something, plus it's close to where John works. Oh well. I guess we'll just continue to somehow make ends meet. I don't know how. Little John and I both have doctor appointments today. His is an 18-month check up and I have a midwife and regular doctor appointment. My knee started to kill me Sunday afternoon and it just started to feel a little better. I don't know what happened to it. But I need to see a regular doctor to get a referral to a chiropractor, too. I would like to see someone before I deliver just to make sure everything is lined up correctly, and maybe he could do something about my right wrist. There was a parade for a town festival Sunday afternoon and John loved it. We came home with a huge bag of candy and a soccer ball. A youth soccer group went by and he reached for this guy's soccer ball, so the guy gave it to him. That's just how cute this kid is! We saw our neighbor from across the street. He first asked if we were expecting any day now and then asked if we were having twins. hee hee. I have been very uncomfortable lately. I didn't feel this way with John at all. This baby can't stop twisting and bouncing around and kicking every which way. Plus I am getting pains and weird feelings all over my stomach and gut. I haven't been able to sleep much and the heartburn is awful. Maybe I'm sleeping a lot lighter and it seems I'm not sleeping at all. I don't feel too bad in the morning, but when I lay down with John for his naps, I just can't get back up. I can't believe I have to put up with it for another 4 weeks, at least. But I can't believe we'll have another baby in 4 or 5 weeks, either. Aahh! My mom sent us a Royal Potty for the little guy. We put it together last night, but he seems to think it's a new toy. The other night he stood up to get out of the tub and peed. Then he tried to pee more while looking down at his penis. It was so funny. Now when he's naked he seems to try to pee. He was successful in the bedroom after his bath last night. Stinker. A writers' group started this week at the library. I went hoping to get some help on essays to submit to parenting magazines. I think I'll like it. It's a diverse group with different writing goals and interests lead by a women who practiced law for a while and then decided she really wanted to be a writer. I hope it's something I can keep up with after the new baby comes. Wednesday, September 8 (36 weeks) We're getting closer. I may freak out. John has an interview next week at OSU!!! We are very excited. Getting a job at Ohio State would be so wonderful - for him and us! He is one of four going in for an interview. I'm nervous for him. I would guess that they would want him to start at the beginning of next month, if he gets it. There would be a lot to figure out - house, baby, etc. But that would be fine with us. Ohio State would be great. Tonight we're going to some athletic department thing. We get to get cleaned up and make a public appearance. I tried cutting John's hair yesterday and the snips above his ears are a little high. Oh well. He's cute enough to pull it off. I called the hospital to ask about preregistration today and ended up just doing it over the phone. It was easy enough. Last night we started perinneal massage. Two weeks late, but I think I'll be okay. I also worked on my birth plan and think I like what I have now. I'll post the new one below the old one. I know I came up with something else to add to it, but can't remember what it was. I'm listening to a guided imagery tape while I'm typing right now. I need to listen to these more often in the next few weeks. It's weird not knowing how this next labor will go. I hope it's fast, but not too fast. I hope my mom and Kari are there. I should probably email them a copy of my birth plan. My mom should be okay since she was there the last time, but I don't know what to expect from Kari. Maybe I can find something about what people should do and not do during someone's labor. I think I have something from my Bradley class. I sent in the form authorizing a background check for the NIU job. As long as I cover expenses and bring something home, I want to take the job. I think John needs to get into daycare at least a few days a week. He needs to experience something outside the house and me all day. I just need to find the right place this week. If we're still here next month, I'll figure out what to do then. Keep your fingers crossed for John's interview - Tuesday!!!! Thursday, September 9 (36.1 weeks) OK. Time to try out some names. Max Byron Wallace Cal Byron Wallace Finn Byron Wallace Jane Audrey Wallace Jane Arden Wallace Sadie Jane Wallace Sadie Ruth Wallace Tuesday, September 13 (36.7 weeks) OK. I'm freaking out. John is on his way to the airport for his trip to Columbus. When I was putting little John down for his nap I started thinking about John's plane crashing. Not that it's anything new, me imagining the worst possible scenarios. I do it all the time. But, sigh, of course that isn't going to happen. Right? I talked to a church in DeKalb that has a daycare this morning. They only charge $18 for part of a day. That would only be $54/week. I scheduled a tour Wednesday morning so that John could go. I hope it's a nice place. I told NIU I would start work Thursday. But how do you drop a kid off for the first time? How do you just leave him for hours at a time with strangers? What will he be thinking? Maybe we won't have to find out. Maybe his interview will be amazing and they'll offer him the job Wednesday afternoon. Then I can call NIU and tell them I won't be working for them and we can start getting ready to move. I really want him to get this job. I've almost come to accept the fact that he won't get the job just because I don't want to get too worked up about it. He has a 1 in 4 chance right off, right? Then you have to tip the scale in his favor because he's very confident, very smart, articulate and very good looking. Right? How could they pick anyone else? This kind of thing kills me. The not knowing. This is one of those times when I wish I could fast forward through the next four weeks and see where we are, Rochelle or Columbus, and do we have a baby girl or a baby boy? Aaaaahhhhhhh!!! Someone tell me!!! Friday, September 17 (37.1 weeks) I can't handle this. Ohio State narrowed it down to John and another guy. The compliance director called John's current boss yesterday to talk to her. I wish I could have heard that conversation. I guess all John got out of her was that it is down to him and another guy and that they have similar backgrounds, but different personalities. I wish he would have heard something today. Now we have to agonize over it all weekend. And I feel like I could go into labor at anytime. My appointment yesterday was pretty quick. Just weighed, measured, reviewed our birth plan. I only gained 1.5 pounds in the last two weeks. Not bad. But Breyer's is on sale this week - only $2! The baby is head down, but off center. Maybe that's why he keeps bumping into all the sensitive stuff. The boys are back from the park - gotta go. Monday, September 20 (37.6 weeks) I am really pissed off. John didn't get the OSU job. Whattabunchofidiots. I'm so pissed that the only person they talked to about him is his current stupid boss. She has no business holding this position and she is so obnoxious. Why couldn't they have called Brad? You would think they would want more than one opinion and from someone who worked with him longer. And the whole thing about them not talking to John before calling her. She wasn't on his list of references and they had no idea if he told her he was up for a job with them. It's a bunch of shit. And they're a bunch of idiots. They did not make the right choice. I know John would have done a better job than anyone else. The worst part is that I have to start a stupid job tomorrow and leave little John at some daycare for 5 hours. He's been there once for 10 minutes and tomorrow his parents are just going to leave him there on his own. Tomorrow is really going to suck. Especially if I'm still sick. I started feeling bad yesterday and then got diarrhea and really bad gas and cramps. The cramps were sharp and I thought maybe I was going into labor at the same time. I called my midwife and she said although diarrhea can precede labor, it's usually not mixed with gas and nausea. I'm so glad I didn't go into labor yesterday. It's too soon. I did make John wash the baby clothes, though. And today we got some more stuff from his mom. Although the worst has passed, I'm still not feeling all that great. I'm glad John stayed home with me today. I didn't sleep at all last night and had bad aches in my back and chest this morning. It felt like I was being stabbed. So, he sent off a resume to WVU last week for the assistant job there. I have no problem with WVU except that it doesn't pay as well and isn't as high profile as OSU. I almost wish he didn't even get an interview, much less know that he was one of the two last people to be considered. I don't think that director knows much about hiring people. So I'm in a shitty mood and I'm sure John is too. He took the little guy to the park right after he found out. I hope when he tells his mom she isn't a pain in the ass about it, asking too many questions about what he should have done. I'm sure he feels like shit and that he let us down, but I hope it passes quickly. I don't want him to be too hard on himself. Especially when they made the wrong choice. Monday, September 27 (38.6 weeks) Tomorrow begins week two of work and daycare. It wasn't bad last week. Each time we dropped John off, he didn't seem to care that we were leaving. He was too busy. I want a kiss goodbye, but he won't even look at me. I guess Thursday morning was a little rough. I called to check on him and ask a few questions and the director said he had been crying on and off. John called later and she said he hadn't cried again since I had called. I thought Friday would be tough dropping him off, but he was fine. They said he had a very good morning Friday. My job is no big deal. No much to think about, just a lot to get through. I just worked on invoicing for print and copy jobs last week. I'm not sure there's much more to it. I'm starting to freak out a little bit. I keep hoping I can make it to Sunday after my mom gets here and she and Kari and I can get together to do something. Yesterday I did too much and thought I might have been inducing labor. But I laid down and tried to relax and the little pains and pokes disappeared. We're going to have a baby within the week. I just can't believe it. In just a few days our lives are going to change again. Once more, there's a little stranger living inside me who we haven't seen and don't know his/her name, and he's going to come out and instantly be a part of us. I'm going to look back at this week and the weeks before and try to remember what it was like without him. I ordered a couple of little Purdue shirts today for the baby and John. The smallest size they had was 6 months, but I hope I can shrink the little one and it's cute enough for the hospital picture. Although I've been thinking about just using the Penn State sleeper again. I need to decide on a name sometime soon. I think I have almost everything together and ready for the hospital. Everything I had on my list is accounted for except the tripod. And I've bought everything I had on my "buy before baby" list, like batteries, diapers, announcements, film. And I've taken care of bills. But I'm not ready yet. I'm not ready for the ride to the hospital and I'm not ready for the unstoppable process of labor to begin. I'm sure I'll be able to relax and get through it, but I just want to get through this week of work and get my mom here. I haven't decided whether to buy a belly cast kit, though. I really want one, but I don't really want to spend the money. Maybe I should just get it. I don't know. Oh, at my appointment Thursday, I was a centimeter dilated, but no thinning and my cervix is still posterior. Of course none of it means anything, but that's what I found out. I wonder what we'll find out this Thursday. I just can't believe it. A tiny little baby. Ours. Here. Soon. *sigh* Wow. |
|