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All From Jerry M
Quotes From Famous Mothers
PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!"
MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY'S MOTHER: "I don't mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"
MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"
HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: "Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall.
But would you listen to me? Noooo!"
COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!"
BABE RUTH'S MOTHER: "Babe, how many times have I told you -- quit playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!"
MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!"
CUSTER'S MOTHER: "Now, George, remember what I told you -- don't go biting off more than you can chew!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
BARNEY'S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple."
MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."
BATMAN'S MOTHER: "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?"
GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"
LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER: "Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"
JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days."
SUPERMAN'S MOTHER: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?"
THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"
As noted from Jerry. Any guess as to his political leanings?
"If
we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --
Al Gore
"Democrats
understand the importance of bondage
"Welcome
to President Clinton, Mrs. Clinton, and my
"Mars
is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat
the same distance from the Sun, which is
very important. We have seen pictures where there
are canals, we believe, & water. If there
is water, that means there is
oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can
breathe."
--Vice
President Al Gore, 8/11/94
"The
Holocaust was an obscene period in our
"I
believe we are on an irreversible trend toward
"One
word sums up probably the responsibility of
"Verbosity
leads to unclear, inarticulate things." --Vice
President Al Gore, 11/30/96
"I
have made good judgments in the past. I have
"The
future will be better tomorrow."
"We're
going to have the best educated American
"People
that are really very weird can get into
"I
stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
"We
have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of
"Public
speaking is very easy."
"I
am not part of the problem. I am a Democrat."
--Vice President Al Gore
"A
low voter turnout is an indication of fewer
"When
I have been asked who caused the riots and the
Who is to blame for
the riots? The rioters are to blame.
Who is to blame for
the killings? The killers are to blame.
--Vice President Al
Gore
"Illegitimacy
is something we should talk about in
"We
are ready for any unforeseen event that may or
"For
NASA, space is still a high priority." --Vice
President Al Gore, 9/5/93
"Quite
frankly, teachers are the only profession
"The
American people would not want to know of any
"We're all
capable of mistakes, but I do not care to
"It isn't
pollution that's harming the environment. It's the
impurities .. our air and water that are doing it."
-- Vice President Al Gore
"[It's]
time for the human race to enter the solar
"As
many of you know, I was very instrumental in
BUMPER SNICKERS:
1) The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
2) I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6) Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
7) WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
8) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
9) BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
10) I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.
11) So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!
12) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
13) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
14) To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
15) I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
16) Earth first...we'll mind the other planets later.
17) I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
18) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
19) As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
20) I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
21) I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
22) God must love stupid people, he made so many.
23) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
24) Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25) It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
26) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
27) It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
28) Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
29) I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
30) Elvis is dead, and I'm not feeling too good myself.
31) Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
32) Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
33) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
34) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
35) CAT ~ The Other White Meat!
36) What Part Of www.KissMyA--.com <http://www.kissmya--.com/>
Don't You Understand?
37) SSDM: Same Stuff; Different Millennium!
38) Beer ~ The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon!
39) I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With A--holes!
40) Fish Fear Me; Women Want Me!
41) I'm Out Of Bed And Dressed; What More Do You Want?
42) Remember My Name ~ You'll Be Screaming It Later.
43) Welcome To Shit Creek ~ Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!
44) If You Think I'm A Witch, Wait Until You Meet My Mother
To my personal home page
Jerold H Feinstein
saftyrma@yahoo.com
Copyright Jerold H. Feinstein, PE 1997-00 All rights reserved; contact for permission to use
This page was last updated on 03/24/00 and is located at http://www.oocities.org/CapeCanaveral/Hangar/6056
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