Lawyer_Humor2

Two law partners hire a new cute, young secretary and a contest arises between them as to who can bed her first, even though they're both already married. Eventually one of them scores with her and his partner is quite eager to hear how things went. "So what did you think?" he asks.

"Ahh," replies the first lawyer, "my wife is better."

Some time goes by, and then the second lawyer goes to bed with the secretary. "So," asks the first guy, "what did you think?"

The second guy replies, "You were right."

From Jerry M

On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple had a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St.Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could get married in Heaven.

St. Peter finally showed up and they asked him.

St. Peter said, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has asked. "Let me go find out." and he left.

The couple sat and waited for an answer...for a couple of months... and they began to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all.

"What if it doesn't work?" they wondered,

"Are we stuck together forever?"

St. Peter returned after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled.

"Yes," he informed the couple, "you can get married in Heaven."

"Great," said the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.

"What's wrong?", asked the frightened couple. "COME ON!"

St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it will take me to find a lawyer?"

From my sister, any of you lawyers want to know who she is?

A New York divorce lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asked him, "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?"

The lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street."

Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true.

Saint Peter said, "Well, that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven."

The lawyer said, "Wait! There's more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter."

Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.

Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?"

Gabriel gave the lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, "Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell."

To my personal home page

Jerold H Feinstein saftyrma@yahoo.com
Copyright Jerold H. Feinstein, PE 1997-2000 All rights reserved; contact for permission to use
This page was last updated on 04/18/00 and is located at http://www.oocities.org/CapeCanaveral/Hangar/6056

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page