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From Jerry M (traitor)
MEN ARE LIKE...
Men are like..... Placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table.
Men are like..... Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like..... Bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
Men are like..... Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
Men are like..... Parking spots. The good ones are taken, and the rest are too small.
Men are like..... Copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.
Men are like..... Lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
Men are like..... Bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
Men are like..... High heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
Men are like..... Curling irons. They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.
Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created
10. G-d was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.
9. G-d knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.
8. G-d knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.
7. G-d knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.
6. G-d knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.
5. G-d knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when G-d caught him hiding in the garden.
2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!
And the #1reason why G-d created Eve...
1. When G-d finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!" (Ouch!)
Subject: Training Courses Now Available for Men
1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop
2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge
3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding
4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead
5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum?: You CAN Tell the Difference!
6. If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away: Accepting Loss I
7. If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator Won't Bring It Back: Accepting Loss II
8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!
9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In
10. Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that the Electronics Came In
11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink
12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels!
13. Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to Run Out of Toilet Paper!
14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to Goodwill.
15. Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970s Polyester Shirts
16. No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the Limitations of Your Kitchenware
17. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel!
18. Strange But True!: She Really May NOT Care What "Fourth Down and Ten" Means
19. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut
20. Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Movies That Don't Fall Under the "Action/Adventure" Category
21. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote
22. "I Could Have Played a Better Game Than That!": Why Women Laugh
23. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet
24. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed
25. "I Don't Know": Be the First Man to Say It!
26. The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty
27. Directions: It's Okay to Ask
28. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime
29. Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power
Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It
To my personal home page
Jerold H Feinstein
saftyrma@yahoo.comCopyright Jerold H. Feinstein, PE 1997-00 All rights reserved; contact for permission to use
This page was last updated on 04/02/00 and is located at http://www.oocities.org/CapeCanaveral/Hangar/6056
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