About a week later she's back at the doctor and says, "The pill worked great. I put it in his mashed potatoes like you said. It wasn't five minutes later and he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes on the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off and ravaged me right there on the table."

The doctor says, "I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill was that strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."

Her husband has been slipping in and out of a coma for several months,  yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he  motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me.  When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were  by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"

"What dear?" she asks gently.

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in  your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do > you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce.

A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.

Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out!

Housework done properly can kill you.

Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.