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Shorties

If we are what we eat, then I'm easy fast and cheap.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

ALWAYS GIVE 100% AT WORK
12% Monday     23% Tuesday     40% Wednesday      20% Thursday     5% Friday

FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION.  It comes bundled with the software.

What is a free gift?  Aren't all gifts free?

If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN.

A FOOL AND HIS MONEY can throw one heck of a party.

Remember, half the people in the world are below average.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

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From my sister: 

Who reads what Newspapers

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

 2. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.

 3. The Washington Post is read by people who think they ought to run the country.

 4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't understand the Washington Post.

 5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time.

 6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.

 7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure   who's running the country.

 8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country, as long as they do something scandalous.

 9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it.

 10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country.

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maileatr.gif (2294 bytes)Jerold H Feinstein saftyrma@yahoo.com
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