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Volunteering To Be Stupid On The Internet

I got an email from a friend of mine today warning me about shopping advice on the internet. He says a lot of what you find is outdated. Then he went on a mini-rant about how there's a lot of crap on the internet that needs to be torn down. Sports fans contribute more than their share.

I used to have a feature on the front page called "Site Of The Week". Having found a few good fan sites with original content, such as Jerry Palm's BCS site, I decided to highlight one per week on the front page. I then realized that I would have to visit about 50 sites to find one worth highlighting, so I jettisoned the feature. Still, there was no doubt that sites dedicated to Tennessee Volunteer football were the most frequently worthless. In preparing my Decade In Review feature, I had many occasions where I needed information about Tennessee, and thus had the troubling experience of scanning through braindead yokel site after site in my hopeless search.

Prompted by my friend's rant, I checked in at The AJ Experience, an internet site dedicated to the once-starting quarterback of the Tennessee Volunteers, AJ Suggs. Suggs was replaced by Casey Claussen midseason. True to Volunteer form, the AJ diary was last updated after the Florida game, and the schedule was last updated not long after.

Jerry Palm's site is on the College Football Webring, one of Yahoo's webrings. I did a search for "Tennessee", and I came up with 11 hits. One hit was for a Vanderbilt site, and while this site was nothing special, it was probably the best of the 11. Here, for your consideration of the thesis that Tennessee Fans are Volunteering to be stupid on the internet, are the results of my site visits:

  1. Big Orange Country -- Quizlet on the front page asks "Who should start QB next season?", clearly written in the summer of 2000. No discernible sign of an update since.
  2. Reida and Brian's Tennessee Superfans Page -- Front page highlights the Florida-Tennessee game preview; no sign of a postgame report! No sign of any update since. I'd bet anything that the Florida-Tennessee game has put a halt to more Volunteer websites than any other single event. Makes me proud.
  3. The Tennessee Vols Football Team -- I can't stop laughing! Leads to Leigh Ann's Jet Page, containing just pictures of fighter planes. Not only did Leigh Ann lose interest in whatever season was going on, she apparently lost all interest in college football!
  4. Smokey's Domain -- It just gets worse. For some reason, this geocities page is in Area51/Dungeon, and the front page has this large-lettered greeting: Thanks for coming to my site. My contacts: AOL IM screen name RoAdDoG6z7,ICQ# 18301440, EMail Address usmokeyt@hotmail.com. The lefthand menu has a link to the 1999 schedule with scores not filled in and "Recap" links not working.
  5. TENNvols Page-- The message "I'm in the process of moving and reconstucting. Follow Smokey to my mirror site! New! Bigger and better than ever!" promises much, but clicking on a picture of Smokey sends you to this page: "This site is dedicated to all the Volunteer fans around the world. In the future I hope to have Volunteer scores and statistics along with VOL updates. Until then, here is the VOL football schedules for 1998 through the year 2000. You can also try my links at the bottom of the page to find out more about the Volunteers or see last years schedule/scores, and lots of VOLUNTEER links!" Until then has apparently not arrived; none of these promises are fulfilled.
  6. Vols News Center -- site not available.
  7. VolsFootball.com -- Despite the fact that "103,043" Vols fans have visited, the schedule page is only updated through the Kentucky game. This would normally be praiseworthy (relative to the other sites), but is rendered laughable by the counter on the front page which promises "Countdown to UT vs Vanderbilt = + 11:23:05:47" and counting... UP!!
  8. 208 13th Street -- The address of the locker room. The 2000 schedule does have the Florida score, but the guy seems to have lost interest after that game. Still, the visit to the page is still worth it for the animation of the guy walking across the page, pulling down his pants, and urinating on the ESPN logo. Classy!
  9. Go Vols -- There is nothing on this page but the banner indicating it is part of the college football web ring and a 2000 schedule. Don't be confused by the scores, those are predictions. The predictions have Tennessee going undefeated. Another way you know it is predictions is that the column is entitled "J.D. Expexts" (sic). I've never gotten to use (sic) in a commentary before: thank you Tennessee!
  10. Delano's Page w/All Vol Page -- Does not exist.

That's right: a whole 0 for 10. Now, to be fair, most fan sites suck. But the search term "Gators" returned 4 sites, one of which at least had the scores filled in for the entire season, and the second of which has a "Pic of the Week" section that actually has a current picture (the same one I had on the front page of Gator players shaking hands with the fans after the SEC championship). That's 50% folks. I didn't do an exhaustive search of Florida State sites, but I know from past history that Seminole fans have among the very best fan sites on the internet. And I have always been proud of the fact that my pages debuted the year of Florida's national title, and have only gotten better since. Compare that to the graveyard of Volunteer sites frozen after the 1998 season (or in some cases after the Tennessee loss to Florida in 1999).

Folks, this was a painful story to bring you. I looked at a lot of garish orange backgrounds and unmentionable animated .gif files to bring you this story. I'm just trying to make the world, and cyberspace, a little more palatable for the high-brow. It's not easy, but it is something that had to be done!

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ARCHIVES
2000 Season
-->The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly [10.19.00]
-->The Bandwagon: A Rider's Guide [10.02.00]
-->Don't Kid Yourself [09.21.00]
-->Quarterback Psychology 101 [09.15.00]
-->4 Counterarguments [08.24.00]
1999 Season
-->Webmaestro's Playoff Proposal [11.28.99]
-->A Bitter Taste [11.23.99]
-->A Decade Of Classics: FSU vs. Florida [11.13.99]
-->What's Wrong With The Gators? [11.09.99]
-->The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly [10.31.99]
-->Rewriting History [10.24.99]
-->Off To The Races [10.18.99]
-->Wide right, wrong game [10.02.99]
-->Conference of the decade, Kevin... [09.23.99]
-->Conference realignment the fun way [09.03.99]
1998 Season
-->The last national champion [01.05.99]
-->What a day! [12.06.98]
-->Grading the undefeated teams [11.22.98]
-->What's God doing in Tennessee? [11.15.98]
-->BCS or just BS? [11.08.98]
-->Bowden ousted! [10.28.98]
-->Who are these guys? [10.19.98]
-->The good, the bad, and the ugly [10.06.98]
-->It's week 5 and I still haven't learned a thing [09.27.98]
-->Musings of a sore loser [09.20.98]
-->The best of the 90s [09.14.98]
-->Quarterback nation [09.08.98]
-->Everything I needed to know about college football I learned in week 1 [09.01.98]
1997 Season
-->Split poll [01.05.98]
-->Peyton Manning vs. Ryan Leaf [12.08.97]
-->The rankings [11.23.97]
-->The Heisman race [11.08.97]
-->The bowl picture [11.02.97]
-->Those unpredictable Badgers [10.27.97]
-->The Penn State see saw [10.20.97]
-->On the UF loss to LSU [10.13.97]
-->Ranking the conferences [10.06.97]
1996 Season
-->The 1996 MNC [01.10.97 ]