1.  Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
    a.  Healthy, creative love-play
    b.  Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
    c.  Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about

2.  You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
    a.  Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
    b.  Your blood-test results
    c.  Five tequila slammers

3.  You should time your orgasm so that:
    a.  Your partner climaxes first
    b.  You both climax simultaneously
    c.  You don't miss SportsCenter

4.  In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
    a.  Lovemaking
    b.  Screwing
    c.  The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town

5.  Spending the whole night cuddling with a woman you've just had sex with is:
    a.  The best part of the experience
    b.  The second-best part of the experience
    c.  $300 extra

6.  Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the past month.  You tell her that it is:
    a.  No concern of yours
    b.  Not a problem - she can join your gym
    c.  A conservative estimate

7.  You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
    a.  A myth
    b.  An oxymoron
    c.  A moron

8.  Foreplay is to sex as:
    a.  Appetizer is to entree
    b.  Primer is to paint
    c.  A line is to an amusement park ride

9.  Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship;
    a.  "I hope we can still be friends"
    b.  "I'm not in right now; please leave a message after the beep"
    c.  "Welcome to Dumpsville.   Population: one lonely bitch"